Life can be a tango, a rumba, a waltz
Meticulously choreographed to display all of our faults
Also too, our perfect lines do shine
Straight through the cosmos, into the divine
Steps sweep lightly, ethereal and grand
A new beat, branched path,where sure feet land
I've heard many a rhythm, carried many a tune
Yet none so melodic as the one played by you
Our moves are cohesive, playful and smooth
Dipping down into love, feeling this groove
You taught and I learned,many new things
The simplest has no clue of the comfort it brings
We are not the steps that we take
We are the music we make
We are not the fabric between seams
**We are bolts upon bolts, skeins upon skeins

North, South, East and West
Circle round and practice best
Let nothing through that would cause harm
Hold the walls, sound the alarm*

In misty grove she weaved and braided
Her love and kindness never sated
Energy flowed to and from
Body swaying to the midnight hum
Full moon gazed upon white flesh pure
Knowing in silence the loss she endured
To keep her mind clear and her nerves at ease
She lost herself amongst the trees
A spell was spun to heal other's hearts
For her's and grieving would never part
The only cure is to help and to give
That is how she chose to live

Do not focus so much on the form
*We are all eternal

In crisp, golden veined perfection
We accept your semi-sharp edge
You are not a harbinger of cold
But more a cauterizing cure for summer wounds
Without your tough love we would be blind sided
January would cut deep and quick
Pulling what breath remained into ice
Lungs frozen in mid-sentence
No, dear autumn, you are a rotten balm
Blanketing tender roots with the dead
No wonder we don masks in your beginning
Mourning the loss of those near and dear the day that follows
Morning walks become more brisk
A sweated brow welcomed with relief
From rosy cheeked breezes
A sun that no longer warms
Merely giving light for the coming darkness

I still wake up
not remembering
Reaching for your warmth
*I always do

The moment you realize
This is a journey you control.

I still dream of you
Walking softly through carpeted hallways
As to not wake your daughters
Checking on them in slumber

Warm eyes would greet mine come morning
"Well hello there gorgeous."
Forming across those kiss hungry lips

I see pictures of you
Whisked back up in that moment
Tears fall, chin trembles
All I can hope for is your comfort
I cannot be selfish, wishing you home
When pain was your constant companion

Though, love played a huge part too
I could not ease the ache your mortal form was cursed with
Your soul, however, sought out my touch

In my old age that is what will shine bright
Amid years and years of faded shadows
The memory of your smile
*The sweet taste of your love

Nothing compares to the ecliptic, cosmic rainbow swirl
Of your glitter blast love
Bursting over me like summer
Pulling aside the cold gray
Waking up the warmth again
I cannot fully grasp
The effect you've sugar spun around my heart
I only know these midnight cravings
Will only be satisfied with indulgence
Full on buffet of pleasure
Napkin ready  
To wipe up the bright stain of you that will remain

I project iron, steel
Yet as I've grown older
I have become more like gold
Soft, malleable
Not yet familiar with my vulnerability
I seem to consistently find a way to let you wound
My door is always open
Perhaps I should lock it shut
Become a hermit for a time
Until you find a way to be more gentle

I had that good good muscle ache take me down to easy town
Kind of night
3am rolled around all cranky and late but willing
That's the way these hills, these hour glass valleys
Keep time
I'm wearing red, hoping for a charge  
Raging bull going in for the slick slit ****
Right there.
Always tasting like a new adventure
Each touch feeling like home  
Blood rushes to flushed cheeks
Just... a... little... more
Gold coin electric pulse scatter on the cobble stone streets of my soul
I can feel each cold edge bounce  and echo
Ting Ting Ting
Body clenching and unclenching in tune
Mouths fused, wet with honey
Sweet with a sting
I cannot get enough of this running
*A hunger beyond thirst, for this love

I am reminded of that scene from Fight Club
Airplane conversation
About single serving friends
Among every other convenience
We pass through each other's lives
Cool breezes. Hot sands.
Finger lengths entwined, connected
Eventually slip their grip for most
Some I can hold onto
Vice like in my intensity
The hurt and confusion can over rule
Common sense about change
We all are evolving
I cannot, will not, hold it against you
There is a purpose for every path crossed
A single serving can **** you
**A single serving can save your life

Your soft morning sighs reach me
I crack open wishful lids to view
The perfect curve of your bearded cheek
Warm rays blind
The sun is bright too I suppose
Compared to you though...
What sun?
You light me up
Soul spark ignited
Seeking out the sore spots, rubbing deep
No cobwebbed corner goes untouched
Just when I start to drift back off in your arms
You kiss softly at the base of my neck
I arch back into your waiting heat
Arousal placed, rhythm reached
We are lost in each other's push and pull
Hard, fast, hair wrapped around rough hands
I come swiftly, wet clenches tight around you
Milking
You reach me at your peek, explode
Our moans of satisfaction dotting the air between us
Laying entwined, thinking softly as sleep claims our sated minds
*I'll be here when you wake up.

I do not know what it is like
To feel empty
Even in my darkest hour
That well of joy we each contain
Has not gone dry with regret
We pull ourselves from depth and shadow
Reminding that this too shall pass
It is only when the quiet comes
That I remember to clench my teeth
Grin and bare it
For every day is a blessing
Every minute a gift

I spent last night consoling you
Your hurt flooding Kleenex after Kleenex
Make a mess, don't spare a thought
We ladies must stick together
When the arms that should protect us
Raise in anger
That is not the love of a man
That is the insecurity of a coward
In the dark, lost
You do not need more shadows
Keep on shining pretty girl
I'll be your mirror

I dance the twisted grind of twilight
As tambourine and sitar play
Heavy shadows of fog roll down off of mountain top
Firelight casting me fifteen feet high
Serpent goddess born of ash
My phoenix heart in tune with Saint Helen's expanding lungs
Primal
Crowd swells and ebbs around my writhing form
Each entranced by hip and shoulder roll
Amber eyes reflect pools of liquid gold
Sinking into the waiting palm of divinity
The scent of my arousal permeates  
I am  woman
I am  power
I am  *life

We have to learn to love ourselves
Before knowing the love of the world
For when we say "I love you"
We should be saying "I hope I am loving you the way you want to be loved"*

Instead of focusing on being good enough
A very selfish view
We should pin point what makes us happy
The other's will surely follow soon
Down beaten paths that sing and dance
Across the patterns of the night
It's in this heat between you and me
Where we are building sacred light
I have never shied away from day
Nor held fast to rain so dear
All I feel is this burning flame
When your love shines pure and near

His fingers grew cold and stiff in the cradle of my own
Last breath rattled, marker of death
Innocence violently stripped away
Shell left, a hollow reflection
Those pieces lay in defeated slumber
For months the clouds gathered
Rain, soft and chilling
Lulled quiet the rage, tears fell
A violent gush coming dangerously close to flooding
All of the hidden cavities that remained
Until one day the sky opened
Hesitant rays like bird's first flight
Shimmered down with angelic serenity
Bringing warmth once again
My eyes squinted to adjust
Recoveries healing hand
Had finally reached out to sooth
The wounds remain, puckered, ragged edged
I will carry them like badges of honor
For you were worth fighting for
Your laughter still echo's
Plastering the walls of the hole you left behind
With saturated, hopeful colors

Tender blossoms unfurl
Against a spring rain back drop
The forest is silent
To an untrained ear
A white tailed mother can hear a twig snap
Protecting her young from all harm
The finch can hear a cricket play
A filling breakfast for the quick to rise
Close your eyes...
The day slows, your lungs expand
In that space between heartbeats
*you can hear the leaves breathing

Your hands cup the mound of my soul
Blowing softly on dying embers
Sparking them back to life
Full flame
I've been walking solo
With a torn heart hidden
Your steps falling in tandem
Upon our crossing paths
Needle already threaded, waiting
Tears fell as you mended
Pulling on scarred edges
My spirit roared back to life
My vessel once more whole
Our steps became lighter
Weaving in and out
To the sweet rhythm of contentment
To the racing beat of adventure
No roots needed
I've got my home right here
*For it is where the heart is

Sand dunes edge an indigo horizon
Their creamy shades highlighted
By silver moon
Briny water laps gently at ticklish toes
I breathe you in, great mother
Your looted depths, the womb
We all sprang from
My gaze seeks light across the miles
Hopeful that distant shores are also straining
To find my prism shining in the dark
Chilled arms raise up to hug a body
Too long gone without the warmth of touch
I shiver, grinding sand beneath my feet
Perhaps if I stand long enough, dig deep enough
Stone will form, encasing me whole
The only remnants of life
A single tear
Shed in mourning for a lost embrace

I need to vent
An aperture has broken open inside of me
Spewing the poison of unspoken words
They oxidate and spoil against the back of my throat
Making swallowing a horrid task
I am not sure where to start
Unhappy? no Malcontent? no
Neglected there's the word
What remains is turning hollow
Weeds grown scraggly, untamed between my teeth
It needs voicing, this creeping malice
It needs out

In comparison to the universe
I am minuscule
A speck of dust on the slide of a microscope
While nebulas are being magnified
But down here my heart is huge
Able to ease and comfort
All those who lay their burdens on my doorstep
A single ant may be expendable but when looked at as a whole colony...
                  
              *They could move mountains.

Mist moves through early morning
Swirling a top the remaining craggy Gods
Standing tall to form the Appalachia
PawPaw trees hang heavy
Laden with fruit, ripened by Eastern sun
Precious ecosystem sustaining what shouldn't grow in this hemisphere
What's left that has not been removed
By blasting coal extraction
Towers above us still, breathing deep
Guarding us in silent repose
Footsteps weave to and fro
Sweet grass brushing sensitive skin
My laughter echo's through the Old Oaks
Honey bees gather pollen
Buzzing happily by my side
We must protect this special place
Turn away from stripping her of her glitter
Of her shine
Clean air, healthy soil
She can recover, she will survive

Morning. Afternoon. Night.
Our days compartmentalized
Of all of the things we wish for
Riches. Power. Wealth.
We rarely think about what is most precious
That which we could work our whole lives and never earn...
                                       *Time

I just don't know any more
Born with the thirst
My apathy competes with it daily
You bathe in my joyful countenance
Never splashing further but surface deep
I know you are hurting
We all are, in some form or another
I do wish I could ease your pain
Please, just once, refrain
I call you up to cry
Twists  into all about you
Words of solace tumble from these numb lips
Stretched thin over a veneer of caring
The hard part is always the swallow
How do I get around this goose egg
Closing up my throat
Defense mechanism meant for strangers
I don't shed tears for the self-inflicted
*At least you have a choice

By Sverre G. Holter and Brook Ilges

I turn, giggling
Your fingertips just out of reach
Of my sensitive ribcage
Running full blown three-year-old style
Down slick hard wood hallways
I can hear your steps catching up
I grin
      
You turn, giggling
A cloud of dandelion seeds
Floating between my fingers; a
Handful of fog
Mocking me unmockingly with
Every echo thrown like the frisbee
That entertains the puppy
Until its teeth finally sink into
Slightly elsastic plastic that
Doesnt's mind the feeling
Of sharp, little fangs
Breaking what could have
Been skin, but isn't
When I catch you
(When you let me catch you)*
I'll growl and shake you
So hard you'll laugh
Until you go limp between my
Teeth
Lets us never, never ever be
More serious than
This

The veil of sleep covers softly
Many forms must shed
Before the fall
I shut down my inner oven
No soup for you until tomorrow
I'll bake new love for you
Tucking in my yawning misadventure
Tails of kites and renaissance costumes
Peak out from below her edges
Into a ball curls my heat
Rarely putting up a fight
Sated still with bedtime ****** hum
Reverent fingers gently close my ink well
Papers scattered but the feather always meticulously replaced
This facet, the crown jewel of my traits
One piece remains, joy
She, I let roam free, spreading
I wish those I know good night
A hopeful good morning for those I don't
*May our paths eventually cross

Fragile blossoms
      Spring forth
Into summer rain
      Falling softly
Against their petals

I want a trouble maker
A lover who breaks skin, commits sin
Leaves stars in my eyes
Passion in my cries
I hope he fills his arms with me
His heart as light as it could be

I've dipped
Cold toes into your lapping edges
Tide pools wide as craters
Years deep with stars and scarfish
Not knowing you'd **** me in too
On down I sink
Gulps of your ink slick love flood
The tightened synch of my lungs
Your warm depths thaw
This January heart
A year of darkness, breaks
Below, light shines
Soft and glowing as I drown in you
This must be heaven
*This must be heaven

(By Brook Ilges and
Sverre G. Holter)


There's fire in it. Chestburn. Lungs
And lava, heart in heat; blood
Boiling. When I move,
Steam escapes from between
My ribs.
They cage a dragon's mouth.

Our edges cauterize
Unable to stabilize this searing
Electric firestorm
We coalesce into colors
Streaming through our nerve
Endings
Pulsing the rhythm of ages
Into the space between our gazes
Your scalding hide sets us apart
A rough reminder of the scars that
Stitch beneath

Sometimes.
Sometimes I find myself.
Sometimes I find myself
Biting down on
Whatever is left of myself
After the vulcano sighs and
Withdraws its black; its
Ashes; its pieces of planet's
Core, just to hold onto
Something with
Something.
Sometimes I wonder if
The memories of surgical
Sutures are all that keep me
From falling apart.
Take my mouth; I'm saving
My hands for
My heart.

Darkness falls, low light lingers
I trace the confines of your cage
The lock rusted and still
A key exists, the heart resists
Too damaged to offer naught but numb
Cutting through pumice walls
Fiery thorns thick, penetrate with ease
Such paltry designs of recovery
I'm fading fast
While you still burn.

And while one of us fades burning,
The other burns fading, and all is as
It all should be, as two stars
Decide not to form a solar system, but
Instead to brush themselves into a painting
Of a dream that a child that has yet to
Become just dreamed; awoke from
And whispered: "I want them to
Be my mother and
Father..."

The subtle slip of your honeyed grip
Fell softly from my anchor
I felt my heart go free, my body leave
The taste of loneliness left it's rancor
Now stars and seasons pass swiftly
Aging lines into easy game
Despair stunned, hot metal gunned
Memories ease the ache of this frame
On down this river I float cold, still
I wouldn't know the light
Tender limbed, my thoughts blend in
As youth flees it's desperate fight
We let our boards warp from lack of care
Mindless in our neglect
Yet hope still gleams between our beams
If forgiveness we choose to elect

Between our meeting and parting
You slipped away
Holding on was an option
Although the burden of your smile was too heavy to bare
I would have been a slave to that grin
Already bone weary, worn thin
I stepped aside to let another try
Their hand at wielding you
With time and space, I grew
Once more oblivious of your growth pattern
Our vines had tangled
Unbeknownst to us
Silky new blooms unfurl under hot sun love crush
We could be, with what's left of me
Close friends for eternity

From your hands spring forth dreams
You race them across my starry sky
Shedding light where shadow reigns
I can still smell you on my skin
Taste the storm on your wind
For wherever you go...
*I follow

I write you out
Give voice to the silence
I would talk about it out loud
An injustice though, for those unfamiliar
With loss
You hear the words
But do not feel them
Cradled arms hold close and tight
To memories full of soul deep and light
You brought so much joy
Jeremiah
Your name still feels whole on my lips
Life is always a stage
Some would say yours was a tragedy
I know better
An epic drama full of love, adventure
Comic relief
When the despair becomes unbearable
That is what I cling to
My oasis amid drought
A light house beaming bright
During storms raging against rocky shores
I'm still afloat with our laughter
I'm still afloat

Mourning
Has washed over but it's swelling tide
Does not ebb
Each day dawns in brightness
Many things for which I thank
Surrounded by love, by comfort
Yet even the weight of your arms fall short
This sadness has become a sickness
For which there is no cure
The rose tinted frames I wore before
Are now shadowed
The sun still shines
Birds singing
But it's always raining in my head
Leaking out to form rivers
From where I spring in cathartic feeling
Healing is no process
It is a journey
One that I will follow through this life into the next

There is no loss
Between the palms of our joined hands
Nervous dew turns strong holds slippery
I did not wait for you to walk away
To let my heart fall
The tender fountain of my youth
Slowly drying as days pass
Not wanting to let go
I hold tight, regardless of our sweat
Keeping you by my side

There is kinetic energy
Shaping around you and me
Lengthening our edges of
Passion's high held ledges

Nature has deemed fit to bless the female form with monthly...troubles
Once taboo to speak of
Many grew up ignorant of their own blood
Only that it's purpose signified
Their readiness to be sacrificed
Lower than cattle, owned, bartered
A son meant continuation of line, of name
A woman was an acquisition
Nothing more
Many a young maid, trembling on her wedding night
Forced to open her heart, her ****** body
To a man, hopefully gentle
That she had only just met
Let alone speak to
A groom preferred his bride
Meek and mild
Untouched by even her own hands
To know pleasure was to be a wanton
Nothing pure could be so passionate
When our very nature dictates us to be so!
Society views our struggle as
"Having come a long way."
How reprehensible to say such a thing
When we are still victimized
Underpaid
Objectified
Abused
The media flaunts only those
That are deemed "beautiful" by a panel of judges
When in fact all of us radiate
For we are governed by the moon
*Our very *** harnessed by her silvery pull

You may not know me
You may know me a little more than you'd like
Sometimes even I do
A few things upon first meeting
You will notice
I have intense eye contact
I laugh easily
I was aptly named, babbling
You will walk away thinking
Smiling softly to yourself
"That girl channels joy."
I hope to leave every life I touch that way, full of hope
Come soak up the remains
You may never have to know of the scars beneath
I do my best to hide them
Often failing
Pleasure is universal
Spread the love
But pain...pain is private
My ***** laundry
Perhaps I never learned how to numb it
**Pain is only relevant if it still hurts

Your appreciation
Means more to me
Than any gift in return

My skin goosebumps with the breeze
Early July melting silking soft, my vision
Lucy firing metallic spark neurons
Across the liquid night sky
Sulfur edges closer in it's hazing accent
Pool water lapping against the edge
Makes me giggle
******* hard, eyes wide
I take it all in
in awe
The laughter of our captured youth echos
Mountains stand in shadowed silent regard
Cradling our memories, pasting them
against our walls
I lean back in pure joy
Deep sigh of contentment
Overwhelmed by sensation
Sizzle singed, stretched thin, just need a little closer
Inhaling the scents of independence
Cut grass, twilight dew, chlorine
Charcoal takes me back every time
Chemical rearrange pulls spastic front to back
*All I can think about is having you here

Restless*
This summer skin grown tight
I stretch, breathing in three a.m.
Coating my lungs with the promise
Of your early morning smile
To think it is not only earth, ocean
But also time that separates us
Different planes of existence
Both aching with it's unyielding strength
Wishing on stars as they plummet
Kissed too hard by gravity's lust
Burn you up with hopeful flames
Licking at your vulnerabilities
Time will tell, as it always does
The story of our struggle
Laced with sweetness and smiles
Lessons learned but be this the greatest
"No matter how long it takes, no matter how far. I will find you."

It was just about dark
You know that time of day
When murky shadows touch even the most harmless of surfaces with malice
It felt that way
Your hand was heavy in mine
Clammy, stiff with regret
"It's complicated."
silence
Tears choked my reply
All I could think of was the rush
Butterflies you gave me that never died
They fluttered still in their death throws
There was nothing left to say
I did as best I could to make a graceful exit
Kissed your cheek softly in goodbye
Pulling my fingers from your limp grip
And turned away

*It is always in the looking back that we regret

I cannot say with any more ease
What you cannot say to me
I'm standing here holding my heart open
Your's is still running
Can't seem to see
You send your apologies on rough waters
Led by white sails
But what love is this that keeps you lying?
What truth is this that leaves me dying?
So you push me away
You pull me back
A constant emotion you fade to black
Should it hurt the way I feel?
Or should I do as I have learned and deal?

The light from a Nordic sun
Casts soft shadows around your haloed skull
Blessed with the voice of God
Speaking through every crack you have let come loose
Your laughter ricochets off of glass screen
Thor's thunder in mortal form  
LED back lights highlighting your face in joyful relief
I am in awe
Across many landscapes our revelry roams
Making bold statements through electric edges
Slinging axe and sword for sport
Yet you gentle at a warm touch
Curling possessively around those you love
A protector unknown but always on watch
Your rough hands glide over plastic satin buttons
ahhh... such sweet music they make
Lulling me into a lassitude of comfort
Of good humor
Of lust
We are like children in our recess
Bantering from one side to the other with gauntlets thrown
Pick it up!
Gladly...then up the bar and throw it back down
Will it always be like this?
"I don't know"

I plan on sticking around to find out

Florida hot sand winds carrying the rich scent of citrus
Waft through open stalled markets
A thousand flora exposed to my salivating glands
Creamy veined melon rinds, sweet and dewy
Are pale globes gracing the chest of our own mother earth
Feeding all of her children with sun drenched nectar
I discover the prickle of Pineapple
Sharp edges similar to that of Loki's temperament
Playful, forgiven,  excused for it's very nature
Bins of giant emerald plantains
Sit bulbous, suggestive and engorged
A not so delicate reminder of the Forest God's potency
Enough to curve the blush of any maiden's cheek
My hair lifts with the breeze
Catching every scent in a swirling kaleidoscope of colors perfume
Ready to bottle and bring me right back to this moment
The market's end is near, one last row
Mangos as far as the eye can see
I pluck a Champagne from the pile
Bite in deep, juice running down my now-happy-childhood chin
Mmmmm....giving over to the experience of such bright flavor
Spirituality at it's most base
*This must be the taste of God's ******

He sat in silence
Face buried in his liquid amber glass
Smoky shadows cloaked slumped shoulders
I knew that weight
It's mantle one of regret
Soaked in guilt
Did his mistake lead him here
To drown?
He swallows suddenly
Great sobs flood sore eyes
We are all tattered, scattered, trying to find our way
I edged close enough
To lay a comforting hand
Breathing in the haze of his grief
Dead weight leaned into mine
Wet shoulder, tangled hair
All he needed was to feel...something
Something more than his own chill
"You are not alone" I whisper
*None of us are

Sunshine giggles ricochet
Off of not-even-Easter yellow walls
(More like Easter *****, or so you say)
Your laughter carrying
All the way across vast ocean
Causing mine to well up
Head thrown back
Face hurts
Kind of chuckle
Those are my favorite
No, *you are