New Years Resolutions are a replacement for daily resolutions.
Don't change yourself once a year; change yourself constantly.

How does one's life get so bad that they resent every morning they wake up, cry each and every night and regret every breath they take? I just don't get it. How--why--does this almighty God character let people spiral down so deep in their miserable existences that they want to **** themselves? Why does He let them go through with it if they're going to hell because of it? Isn't He compassionate toward us humans? Doesn't He want us to have eternal life or whatever?

If He knew that so many people would suffer so badly, why didn't he just **** everyone and start over? I'm sure we wouldn't mind an easy life in the Garden of Eden.

I wasn't really going to speak about God, it's just where my thought process took me.

Anyway, really, how does someone get to that point? To the point of jumping off that building, of cutting the artery, of swallowing that myriad of pills they've been saving up, of holding the gun to their heads before pulling the trigger? How does it happen?

I don't know, but I feel like I'm awfully close and I don't like it. If I knew how people got to that point, I could try to avoid it. Alas, I do not. That's what *****: a lot of people don't. And that's why so many people get there without ever realizing where they're headed.

I went looking for God
but I found you instead.
Bad luck or destiny,
you decide.

Buried in the muck,
the soot of the city,
sorrow for an appetite,
devil on your left shoulder,
angel on your right.

You, with your thorny rhythms
and tragic, midnight melodies.

My heart never tried
to commit suicide before.

I was once a believer in true love
I thought that if someone showed enough interest
And enough care and love
Enough tenderness and consideration
That they would be able to, in turn, be loved and appreciated all the same
When I gave that to you
When I was a mere player in your game
And bought into your plots and schemes
When I believed your excuses, your deceit
I came to the realization that all you did was reject me
You dangled your love in front of me
Just out of my reach
With that, you ruined me
You singlehandedly destroyed any hope I had for true love
I hope you sleep well at night
Knowing you destroyed someone who was once so sure of herself
And so capable of loving
Now all I am is numb

His eyes caught me
From a distance I see
Dyed hair of white and dark blue
Like his lips, coloured
Like his smile, I see
Deep within the surface,
Is his hidden secrets
Deep within the smile,
Is his hidden pain

His eyes caught me
Shaded with dark thick lines
Closer and closer ,  I feel
His hair swept to the side
Like his voice
Like his laugh, I hear
Echoing beneath me,
Is his soothing voice
Echoing beneath me,
Is his pure joy

Today is the day
The day he’ll feel alive
The day he might notice
The day I knew ,
I truly love him.
                
                                                                  *to love me back will be everything