You're a beautiful women
With a sinister heart.
You have eyes like tornadoes
That tear me apart.

You break me down
In the most ****** up way.
But when it comes down to it
I always stay.

Your kiss is but bittersweet.
Like coffee and cigarettes
After a really long day.

When I am with you
It's like being on a really good high.
And I'm talking way past cloud nine.

That point when all the lines become a blur
When making sense is just absurd.

Because when I'm with you.

The beautiful girl with a sinister heart,

I get lost in your eyes that tear me apart.

I've never really
Been much for
Trying.

Darling can't you tell me,
You're still innocent inside.
Please baby, whisper you'll be fine.

I know you're sick,
And you feel your skin stretch.
But I'd tear off my own skin,
To make you feel beautiful once again.

I hear it in your voice,
See it in your eyes,
Each bite fills you up,
And prepares you to die.

And you just kept purging,
And somehow I didn't know.
I'd sell my soul for less,
Than to just make you whole.

I miss your smile,
Before you found your taste.
Baby please rethink it all,
You know not what you waste.

Now please don't cry,
Take my shoulder while I sing a lullaby,
So you can sleep,
And feel beautiful in your own skin.

I am the girl that you never see
I am the girl that will never be
Remembered, but forgotten
Put in that dark hole
That forgotten memories go in.

Outside I’m plain like any other being
But inside you would not believe what you’re seeing
Something to remember and never forget
Something that will forever set
In your mind’s eye
A personality that would make you die.

If the inside were the outside then you would know
All the wonderful things that I could show.
Being a shadow will be a title I forever own,
If I never am seen but in the dark
Were I forever will be Unknown.

I met him in October,
The month he was born.
I met him in October,
And it was cloudy and chilly
And I hated him.
Not because he wasn't funny,
Or nice.
But because there was something inside me telling me to stay away.
Run away.
I guess, at some point I lost myself in the vast sea that I thought was his love.
And I let myself drown without realizing it.
I made myself into puzzle pieces that were his smile
And the way his hand was twice the size of mine.
He took all of my insecurities and made them into his own.
He hollowed out my bones and fit himself inside.
Fighting was our favorite past time
It was loud and uncomfortable and mean and wrong.
I left him in December,
Two long years later.
The month that I saved myself.
When I came up for air I didn't recognize myself
And I tried to put myself back together
But the pieces didn't fit anymore because
His smile was gone
And so were his hands.
So I floated for a while
In sadness
Silence.
I lost myself when I lost him and I didn't know if I ever even knew myself.
So I'm still floating, trying to put myself back together.
I've healed all the wounds he left me.
I've filled my bones with music and words and books that I love.
I'm not lost in the vast sea that I know wasn't love.
I'm just lost in me.

Oh my dear friend molly,
How I love you so.
Always there for me,
Oh sweet molly
A your voice is a drug.
Makes me feel comfortable
Like my sweet friend maryjane
All you need is to spark her up
Shes on fire
Makes you feel worth living
I always hang out with maryjane with friends
Even alone
My mom likes her
My family doesn't
My mom hates molly
For a reason unknow
Maybe because she almost killed me
Molly killed my cousin
I miss her but molly is nicer
Makes you happy right?
My cousin never did
I met maryjane when i was 13
Best day of my life
Happy
The happiest i had been in months
At a party is where i met her
Maryjane is my bestfriend
She introduced me to molly
I blame her sometimes for that
But then i hang with molly and i love her
Molly is fake though
Always nice when shes with you
After she makes you feels bad
Like you need her all the time
As if you cant live without her
Oh sweet maryjane never does this to me
She knows ill always come back to her
But molly has a price too
Makes you happy but then harms you
Please leave molly i cant continue to live with you
Maryjane my savior is the one i look up to

And the prettiest I've ever felt
was when you had me on the floor
begging for your hand to scold me
Your punishment was something I adored.
You tied me up in ribbons,
and marked my skin with shades of blue
and they reminded me of my shadow
because I'd imagined it to be that color, too.
I'd traded in flowers
for ropes and chains
and I'd submit myself to daily beatings
just to feel pain.
I knew, if I was good this time-
I'd get a kiss or two.
You call me princess when you're done with me
and send me to my room.
I often stare out of the window,
and wonder
why I do what I do
but love is a funny thing,
and you haven't a clue
You don't know how to love me
because you believe
no one has loved you
but oh,
I do.

*I do.