feet on the desk,
pen on the paper,
deep in thought?
sincerity tapers.
quick to falter,
ignore deceit,
back between foreign sheets.

wondering;
was it wine or blood that filled her head,
when burgundy stained the paper red?
image fading,
done persuading,
*did you kiss the wrong boy again?

I know am supposed to wake up
Go out and do something.
But i can't bring myself to leave bed
and face the pain over again.
The emptiness inside filling out
The hole you used to occupy.
It aches and incapacitates me
With numbing sharp blows
I can barely walk.
Doubled over awaiting relief.

I tried to get to know you
Met resistance at every turn
And now am faced with loving
A stranger i can't predict.
Do you love me or want me back?
I can't see past you anymore
You have broken my heart
In a million different ways.
I just want to smile again
But in this dark lonely tunnel
I can't even see a light.

i am a gun
waiting to be triggered
shooting bullets of my words
into the air.
when i empty my clip,
i breath deep into my lungs to reload.
i am the problem
and the solution.
i am a contradiction
of bittersweet revenge.
i am fought over
and fought with,
i am danger in the wrong hands
safety in the right.
i am a childish toy
without retribution,
a lethal instrument
playing the most sorrowful of music
i change from day to stay
never the same.
so tell me this:
are you feeling lucky?

I'm sorry,
I don't remember your favourite colour.

I know I asked and,
I know you told me and,
  I know I forgot, almost instantaneously;
I'm sure you'd shrug it off,
say it's no big deal,
and, I suppose I might agree,
but
I'd hope that you'd find it meaningful,
that you'd changed mine.

for now, its:

the intervallic hues
of your delicately feathered iris,
blanketed
under starlit night skies,
glittering
by the sodium haze
  of cityscape lights,
and how transient happiness
set the soft outline of your cheek
  ablaze.

your freckles laid out,
like maps of constellations;
  distant pinpoints, strung up on high,
   ages old,
just waiting to fall, at a moment's notice.

the palette of the sweetness of your skin,
made brushstrokes, weaving into my dreams,
  becoming masterpieces, as
literature
rolls
  from your lips
    in dry-ice cloud
  sepia tones,
washing out black and white photographs
I'd hung up,
  in homemade picture frames,
throughout the corridors of my chest.

so,
I'm not sorry for that.

but,
I am sorry if I ever hurt you,
{I don't think I did}
I'm sorry if I'm an *******,
{though I seem to be the only one to think this}

and,
I'm sorry...

I'm sorry if I love you.

its five in the morning, and your nowhere in sight. i open the curtains to let in the sunlite. i woke up early, another sleepless night, wanting to love you hoping you might. i asked whats on your mind, you said nothing, everthings fine, another empty feeling anotther empty line. still, i never thought i would see the day when one of us would go astray, to keep a secrect and never say. i know our love is dying and i'll try to rise above, and hope you find the one that you truly love. for i have given all i have, bht just one thing before you let go, please remember me...... always

a friend of mine told me, that they are at a crossroads in there life
what have i done, or accomplished, is my footprint still viable
i had no responce, for i ponder the same question, age will do that
but as i gather my thoughts, i wonder, do i need to change the world
do i need to be famous, i don't think so. if i can be me, and bring a smile
to you then i have done what HE has ask me to do.

hold me gently in your arms
and caress my soul, never let go
let the tenderness of your skin
soothe my aching heart
your warmth is a quiet elixser
to a mind that swims in a sea of confusion
waves of reality and fantasy,crash on my shores
and leave nothing but sandunes dragging back to that sea
so please throw that net,pricise as always,lift me up onto
dry land .