FOUR YEARS
You've asked me to wait FOUR YEARS
FOUR YEARS for you to do what you want
FOUR YEARS for me to play along
FOUR YEARS to love you from afar
Well guess what, it's ******* hard

And I'm just your dog?
That waits for your return?
Oh she'll always be there
It's fine, she's mine
YOU DON'T OWN ME
NOT EVEN MY LOVE
I can give that to WHOMEVER I PLEASE

And those days when you don't accept me
When you argue with my choices
And counter my opinions
I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MIND
You do too
So just let them be beautiful together

STOP CLOSING YOUR ******* THOUGHTS
OPEN YOUR HEART
LET THE BREEZE TOUCH YOUR SOUL
GET BLOWN SOMEWHERE
AND JUST ENJOY THE RIDE

four years...
four years
   and a hell of a lot of tears

Spring doesn't feel right without you
You're supposed to be here too

Welcoming the grass back
Calling the cool air to our skin
Listening to the same trains hustle by
Seeing the same river run its course

You're supposed to be here too
And I'm supposed to be with you

HA!
I've colored my hair
Perfect elegance
I promised I'd never ruin
But we all break
Promises, I mean

Would you like me to define
The word forever?
I'll frame it for you
So you constantly see

That you broke your promise...
Your promise to me

I can hear you
and I'm sorry
This is all I have:

No words...
A girl sits
A boy stands.
Their eyes meet from across the vacant airport in the early morning.
They don't move
For just longer than a moment.
Then they both go
Back to each other
As their love always pulls them.
They hug.
She starts to cry.
She can feel his emotion through him
His language the same as hers.
"I guess you missed me" he attempts to playfully break the silence
Her response is the tears that roll down her face.
They pull apart,
He sees her face,
So they reembrace.
Deep breaths fill the air...
"I'm sorry" he whispers
"I know" she finishes
-----
When their eyes lock
They don't see anything else
They can't feel anything else
They see each other
And everything is.
-----
He feels awful when he sees her father
He hates himself for what he's done
But we all make mistakes
He never meant to hurt no one.
Her father smiles
He's happy to see him too
What is this maddness?!
We all wish we knew
-----
Guilt eats him alive
Even when he looks at her
Oh the sadness in his eyes...
As she hugs him he voices
"What was I thinking?" "I must be mad"
He promises it won't happen again
But how can she believe him?
He's broken that promise once before.

(Listen my friends,
it's the best part
The part you've been waiting for)

So why are they back?
How are they at it again?
Why's she putting herself through this?
-wonder her friends

She & Him both remember:

Love.
They're in love.
They're doing this for love

Because something greater
something stronger
is telling them
to be together
Is telling them to love
Is telling them to live
As a part each other
They'll never be done
They've only just begun

Just let them love
and let them live.
There will be mistakes
There may be secrets
But
There will always be love.
-----
--------
She didn't want to keep things from you
But she guessed this was obvious
She trusts you
With her life
You know that's a fact
She loves you endlessly
And that's that.

I sit in silence
hearing only
your sleeping breath.

I have never felt
more comfort
from a single sound.

I hang up the phone.
*I wish you were home.

Bless the love in your heart
Bless the love in the world

Bless the love that burns brightly
Bless the love that never dies

She looks like she's in pain
But the image comforts me
Because through her skin
I can see myself hurting too

But I won't tire of you
I'll always be here
I'll always love you
I'll always want you
I'll always choose you

We're real
And this *****

I'll pray for you if you pray for me

But then I'll listen to a song...
And I'll want nothing more...
Than to pull you in -
And kiss you hard.
Kiss you as hard as you hurt me.

When I think of your face
Of that face that you make
Of the face you make
Between kisses we take
It sends me a shock
A shock down my body
Electric love
Gives me shivers and shakes

Did you know
   then,
That every time
   you,
Called me
  sweetheart,
That one day
    you,
Would stop talking to me?

I got really sad today while sitting on my futon.
Why?
Because I thought: Gabi was sitting right here two days ago ago. And I wasn't hugging her.

NO - YOU'RE DOING IT TO ME

My lovely...
I'm here to help
I want your pain
To clear your mind
To relieve your chest
From the heavy hurt.
Tears filled my eyes
When I read your words
God...
   Let them be lies.
   Let her be safe
   Protect her soul
I can't comprehend the thought
That you could be hurt
So please call me
I'll help you with the load

I love you my lovely
I love you I do
Time heals all
But I can help too

When I think of you
I see light.
The light of your golden hair,
Blowing in the wind.
When I think of you
I see bright.
The bright of your white smile,
Shining on us all.
When I think of you
I see strength.
The strongest body and mind,
You are one of a kind.
When I think of you
I see us all.
I see everything we want to be,
I see all the things we'd like to feel.

Your eyes tell me:
Even though we never knew you,
You know us.
You can see us.
And most days,
You're smiling at us.

You are truly an angel,
A blessing through and through.
Only bright memories
Are left of you.
You are truly an angel,
Made of the sweetest soul.
I'd like to thank you for everything
Here, I'll give it a go:
For your love,
   Your beauty and your grace,
For your children,
   Your touch and embrace,
For your strength,
    Your compassionate heart
I could go on for hours...
   But that was a start.

My parting words to you my dear,
Before you rest
  that I'd like you to hear:
Sweetest soul
Now up above
That you for showing us
Life and love.

And for now
We'll glide along

We'll ride the wind
And hum a song

But when the wind stops?
When the tune is done?
What will keep us up?
What if there's a storm?

Questions my love
Surround our lives
We're floating along
I hope we survive

I could listen to love songs
In your memory
In our memory
  Every night
  Till sleep

My hands smell like a frat house
I want to tell you goodnight
But I can't
I miss you
I love you
Sleep tight

"I never should have let you
   Let me go"
-Rufus Humphrey

Anxiety
make me chuckle

Anxiety
make me cringe

Anxiety
that's inside me
killing from within

You're going to do it again
And I can't stomach it

Where are you?
Please don't...
Please wait
Please don't

Please don't
We can't

I saw your picture
But it wasn't one of mine
You were smiling
Next to someone else's name

I've felt sick ever since

I can't read
Any words but my own
I don't want to follow
Any moves but my own
But I am numb
Numb all over
Because I hurt so much
But I can't feel it
Nothing at all
Just my clouded head
And aching stomach
My stinging eyes
Dry from the tears
My love, oh sweet love...
I'm thankful for our years

Alas...
He resembles the tide.

Always receding
Faithfully returning
In a constant cycle
Forever ongoing.

Wouldn't it be neat
If I didn't cry this time?

Wouldn't it be cool
If he didn't have to leave?

I miss you already
and I was just in your arms

I miss you already
because my love,
   You're gone.

When you look into her eyes
I hope you see mine

I can't live like this
   In fear
   With anxiety.
I can't live like this
   Wondering
   Questioning.
I can't live like this
   The distance
   The doubt.
So sweetheart,
    We can't love like this

I make myself forget
How much I miss you
Because if I'd let myself remember
I would be in constant pain
Writhing on the ground
Covered with tears.
I miss being happy with you.
God I miss you.
Jesus...I miss us.

It's the day you left
Im watching your car drive away
Yellow fading into the distanve
And I'm collapsed in the grass
Alone.
Our voices still linger in the air
I stare to the sky
And try not to feel.
But I can't help myself
And I start gasping.
Because I know what's beginning.
I know the hell we're about to go through.

IT'S UNFAIR
That two people
Can love like we do
And feel euphoria through a touch
Or even a glance
IT'S UNFAIR
Because the universe has dammed us
It gave us a flame like none other
IT'S UNFAIR
That we can't be together
IT'S UNFAIR
I don't get to love you to your face
IT'S UNFAIR
AND IT'S BREAKING ME

So every time I say I miss you
It's empty
Because if I ever let myself
Remember why I miss you
You'd hear nothing
But cries of pain
And aches of hurt.

I make myself forget
How much I miss you
Because if I'd let myself remember
I'd feel like how I do right now.

I can't stop thinking about you
I still love you
I can't stop loving you
I wish I didn't think of you.
You treated me like absolute ****
I should never go back
Never give you another chance.
But I can't shake it.
I cannot get rid of the feeling.
You are ever present.
I gave you a piece of my heart
   And I never took it back
   I don't want it back
       I want you back.
I want you to apologize
I want you to come home
I want to hug you
I want to wake up to you
I want to hear you
I want to love you.
I do love you
   I can't shake it.
Please help us both
   Please come home.

I'm jealous of the sun
that gets to flush your skin
I'm jealous of the wind
that gets to tousle your hair
I'm jealous of the water
that gets to grace your lips
And I'm jealous of her
that she gets to make you smile

I'm not ready
I am so not ready
I'm not ready because I'm scared
I'm scared to feel
I don't want to see you
Because I'm scared
Of what I'll feel when I see you
I like being alone
I've really grown to it
I'm scared
I don't know
I don't know if
I need you to show me
You taught me what love was
But now I can't remember
And I'm not sure
I want to try again
I'm so scared
My heart isn't ready
My soul isn't ready
If it was out of love
   Yes, the pain is worth it
So is our love strong enough?
You have 8 days
To make me know

You won't be here in the morning
My tears will water the night
The people might think it's rain
But they'll be alright

We're taking a trip
We're testing the limits
Love is forever
And the sky...infinite

Take your time my sweet
Coming home
These mountains
   ...like my heart
Are your own

I love you forever
And you're lovin me now
But let's be still
As we take our last bow

Hey, I'm in love
And one day,
We'll Om Nashi Me
With no struggle at all
One day
We'll  play
Play and not call
What we know today
And tomorrow
And next fall
This is our first love,
Which we have given our all.

I'd like to say it's guilt that's eating me alive
But it's desire.
It's desire of every part of you.

I want your eyes to be mine.
The window to your soul
Let me clean them until they shine
Your eyes in mine
Your eyes in mine.
I don't like it when you squint,
(Actually, that's a lie)
I just want to see you
But sometimes direct contact
Is too much to handle.

Your heart that beats
To it's own darling drum
Let my heart match the tempo
Or we could make our own.

Back to your eyes,
The window to your soul
When your eyes are in mine,
Darling we know.
It's like a portal
Or a tunnel of sorts,
Your eyes in mine,
Time they contort.
Time they contort,
And our visage too,
When your eyes are in mine
All that matters is you.

Every single part,
Every last detail
Of the person you are,
And the story you hold.
Let's write it together
We could fill shelves
with books and books
of love never told.

It's so easy
To find my hand in yours
It's so easy
To let you hold me
It's so easy
To tousle your hair
Know why?
Because I care.

I care as much as you
I asked you
   and you feel it to
You said it's incredible
It gives you a high
But it's all for nothing
I'm sorry...sigh.

I won't stop writing of you
Because words are lasting
As lasting as our love
And the memory of our hug

You don't care.
I've always been a game.
You had your fun
Because you won
And now you don't want to play again.

And here I sit.
Puzzle disassembled,
My pieces scattered.
I'm waiting for you
To come back.
To come play again.
Please come back...
I'll let you win

Reaching
Crying
Grasping
Pulling
Tugging
Gasping
Breaking
Falling­
   Back
   Away
   Out
   Somewhere

I remember you
As I hear this song

My favorite place
Is between you and a wall
While I'm in your arms

JMA:
I'm done limping
I've found a mirror
The snow will melt now
My dear, my dear

JGM:
My tears won't water
The flowers below
We'll have to find something else
To make them grow

ALL:
Thank you for the love
The support
The hugs
   Enough now, enough
  
*Women, I'll see you in the morning

She is beautiful
but she can't see it
her eyes are clouded
by the fog of his
her heart is troubled
by the make of his

She's beautiful
but she hurts
every night her thoughts haunt
every day her eyes jaunt
of him
for him
But she is without him

Tears fill my eyes now
she's my light
but she's turned off inside
she's a barefoot summer
but she's wearing shoes

We all have that thing
and this is hers
I just pray
we all move past our things
   and those hims
One day

I don't write in riddles
I write because
I want you to understand
To know how I feel
Because I often hope
I'm not feeling all of this alone

The words I'd like to tell you...
All the things I'd like to say...
I've decided they're simple
Let me put it this way:
I love you
I'm sorry
I miss you
Don't hurt me

And suddenly...
I feel used.
You said what I needed to hear
And I gave you what you wanted.

Hand me back my crutches
my limp has returned

Nevermind about the flowers
my eyes will water them still

"RIVERS AND ROADS
RIVERS AND ROADS
RIVERS TILL I TEACH YOU

RIVERS AND ROADS
OH RIVERS AND ROADS
OH RIVERS TILL I REACH YOU"

Go for the girl
Who smiles as she sleeps
The peace of her dreams
Reflects the peace of her mind

I haven't wrote about you in a while
Because I prefer to push it down
With others,
The feelings and urges are so obvious
But with you I don't know
You're like a memory
That now tempts me as an image
And a voice
Just a memory
Flickering into my reality
Only ever so often
Ha
Will you ever actually come back?
I can't live my life waiting
You're living your dream
I hope you're happy
That's all I ever want
Happiness
For you
And for me
If they coincide - great
If not
We'll learn to go on

And suddenly
In this moment
I wonder why

I've forgotten...
And I need you to remind me

Every time she laughed
He hugged her even tighter
And there, she felt safe.

I would wake to your eyes
looking down into mine
and ask
"is this real life?"
You'd smile and hug me close
muscles tightening around
with a response
"I can't believe it either."