the man who raised me.
the ma who made me who i am today.
the man who looked at me and saw things in me
nobody else did.
the man who inspires his fifth grade
students the same way he's inspired me
for 17 years.
i am a sunflower and he is the sun.
i angle my head to soak in his golden
drops of love to help me grow.
life would be unimaginable without him.
imagine a beach without the roaring mighty ocean.
imagine a hospital without doctors.
it is hard to write a poem using the right
words to describe my father.
so all i will say is this:
he is my father
and his is
irreplaceable.

the darkness
is so overpowering
and i don't know
where it ends
so give me sun.
flowers cannot bloom
without rain
but they also
cannot bloom
without light
so give me sun.
my skin is pale
and cold as ice
so give me sun.
write on my lips
a reason to
carry on
because i am
empty
and frozen inside
so give me sun.
my heart
is turning dark
so give me sun.

i don't
love you.
i love
the way
you make me
feel.
and i know
that is wrong.
i know
i am
leading you on.
i know
i've written
poem
after poem
about being
led on
and how
it hurts
so **** badly
to give somebody
your all
but get
nothing back
in return
and i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm so **** sorry
please don't
hate me.

why did you
bother
giving me
your heart
if you were
just gonna
take it right back?
you knew
i was committed
(and i guess
deep down
i knew
you weren't)
yet you still
went ahead
and took
my heart
and you tossed
it up
in the air
and laughed
when got
scared that
you'd drop it.
you made
a joke
out of something
so fragile
and you don't
even
care.

to put it
simply,
i love you
more
than you could
ever comprehend
because if you are
anything like me
you don't believe
it is possible
that anybody
could love you
at all.

in the grand
scheme of things
i suppose
this gaping hole
you put
in my heart
isn't so bad
but right now
the pain is
excruciating.
every time
i breathe in
i am reminded
of those five
simple words
you whispered
(though it felt
more like screaming)
"i don't love you
anymore"
"i don't love you
anymore"
"i don't love you
anymore"
i have to
force my heart
to continue
its beating
because it's hard
to carry on
when i keep
coughing up blood
and clawing
at my eyes
so i can
somehow
erase the image
of you
kissing her
that is stained
on the insides
of my eyelids
and i have to
keep myself awake
because everytime
i close my eyes
i see
your ghost.
i don't want
my life
to be controlled
by you
and i don't want
to keep bleeding
for you
and i don't want
to keep loving you.

not every
poem i write
is for you.
not ever
tear i shed
is for you.
not every
heartbeat
is for you.
not ever
breath i breathe
is for you.

you are not
a part
of my life
anymore
and i think
you forget that
sometimes.