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These memories are knives stabbing me repeatedly in the heart…
Killing me slowly.
I want to stop thinking about this.
I want to move on but it is as if someone has pressed rewind on my life
And is forcing me to continue to go back and relive.
The memory…
All of these memories are everywhere.
It is all I see, all I feel, all I know…
I need a break.
I want to run and hide
But they just all follow me.
Lurking in the darkness bringing me back to their reality.
Please leave me alone…
Please let me rest…
Please just give me one moment of peace.
I am so tired, mentally, emotionally, physically…
I just need to rest my eyes.
Just give me one night of rest…..
 Jul 2013 brianna of space
Matt
We all have memories
and they all seem to fade
a grinning face, a flashback
sleep is the resort where we can't evade

I begin to dream, and my mind begins to wander
hands buried in my face
sitting alone in a corner

Thinking of when we were together
when it was just you and me
kept my heart closed
but my eyes open to see

You meant a lot to me
every nickel and dime
now you're just a memory
wishing to turn back time.

 Jul 2013 brianna of space
ryyan
Memories fade, memories run,
Memories drift away into the setting sun
Memories hide, memories are the only thing that marks our time.
Memories lie, Memories hurt,
Memories make our worth inside.
Memories are hard, memories make us who we are.

So build me up and break me down
I swear I’m gonna get out of this town.
So break me down and build me up
I’m telling you I’ve had enough.
Our lives our worth more than this.
I refuse to believe were just accidents in space.
we’re made to love, yet we create so much hate.
yet we chose to forget as the generations change.
forget the way she held this hand
just lay it back inside that memory
it changes with every touch
we can't even hold onto you
don't even want to
but the troubled feeling
is coiled within you
the memory it holds
could take away the burden of "I forgot to say"

you can't apologise to your own mistakes
an empty room
full of poisonous regrets
there is nothing here
just a mind
blind to the truth
Written on 14th October 2011
The sky is the color of dusty water;
brown, blue, and a watered down gray.
The rain beats down as mercilessly as a killer on his victim,
or as the sun on a hot summer’s noon.
It brings back memories:
Memories of hate,
memories of scorn,
memories of hopefulness,
memories without a proper home.
Memories that only seem to exist in a world where there is no happiness left,
no air to breathe.
Is this really the life I lived?
How can on person feel so happy in a place that is closer to hell than anything on this earth?
It must be impossible.
And yet,
it is the past,
and if one cannot change the past,
they can simply **** off all memory.
an image

locked away and lost

gone yet vivid

until my block is tossed

all at once it consumes me

so much that i cannot see

anything in future or past

i cannot last

i remember the pain

striking into my back

i remember the rain

falling like tacks

my mind is frazzled and gone

i cannot see to the new dawn

my mind suffers many casualties

do to uncensored and vivid memories
(c) Steven Forrester
I’m not the same girl
I used to be.
Then again, maybe I am
the same,
and it’s everyone
and everything else
that’s different.
Maybe I’m just not adapting
to the changes in my environment.
Maybe I’m still the
idealistic twelve year old
who read romance novels
and ate ice cream while watching Titanic.
Maybe I’m still the
anorexic fourteen year old
who smiled when the number on the scale dropped
and cried when it didn’t.
Maybe I’m still the
ambitious sixteen year old,
striving to put her life back together
and get laid before prom.
(Without much success, of course.)
Maybe I’m still the
infatuated seventeen year old
who fell madly in love with a geeky college boy,
only to get her heart broken.
Maybe I’m just
an eighteen year old basket case
who drinks too much
and smokes too much
and ***** random boys (and girls)
with all the lights off
because she hates her body just as much when she’s drunk
as she does when she’s sober.
Maybe I have changed.
Maybe I never will.
Maybe in the end,
however soon or far off that may be,
I’ll look back and laugh
at my complete and utter stupidity
and inability
to stop thinking and just start
living.
Maybe I’m already dead inside
and just waiting for my body to follow.

I don't intend to leave you all behind,
but I’m beginning to think I already have.
you sat on the piano bench
and i sat on the floor
we talked about our fathers
we shared our lonely childhoods
broken bones, broken hearts
i decided i could listen to your voice for hours
you told me you wanted to be a pianist
and i offered to teach you guitar
i played stevie nicks for you
and you said you didn't sing
but your voice is beautiful
and i wish you'd sing for me
you told me about the songs you like
and i went home and made a playlist
it's four months later and i have every song memorized
in alphabetical order

you told me you didn't believe in love
but i know real love and i know forced "love"
and i know i've loved you since that day in september
when you told me i had beautiful handwriting
and i'll never forget how you looked at me
instead of the paper
when the words drifted through the stuffy third-floor air
and i didn't even know your name

so for now i listen to your songs on repeat
and look forward to tomorrow
i just wish i'd kissed you
that evening of the recital
on that ****** piano bench
i haven't written a poem for you in months
i want that night back because it's a side of you i haven't seen since you told me you liked her
 Jul 2013 brianna of space
Robyn
We drove, ever slower, past the cotton candy sunset
A million puffs of pale sugar on a blueberry and peach tongue
Painting gold on the coffee stands and farms
Wisps of revolution buried in corn fields
Efforts of industry defeated by vegetation
A million shiny, waxy leaves embracing their sweet, warm gold
What is our beauty compared to yours?
Rain compared to heat cracked earth
And the bleats, brays and bellows of creatures I can never see
Pale and pink
Compared to dark and rich
What is my beauty compared to theirs, dear captain?
I am the pallid princess of spoiled kings who cackle and beg to suffer in privilege
What am I?
I am the alabaster adolescent of a kingdom made to forget its King
What am I?
I am the chalky child of forests and deserts and seas shrinking and expanding in fear and taunting of a patience waning star
One day we'll all drown in our greed and blood
And I weep for the children that fathered me
Leaving a legacy of corpses
 Jul 2013 brianna of space
Evynne
I live my life according to what I feel like inside
And mostly, I feel free
Unimpeded
Exempt from anything that can control, restrain, or burden me
I am an independent and uninhibited person
A nonconformist
I think for myself
I observe quietly and muster even the smallest of details
I love to learn but I always form my own opinions
I possess my own distinctive understanding of life and the world around me
And I don't allow myself to be weighed down by the troubles of every day life
I take it day by day
I am me and I am free
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