Heidi
I fell in love with you at the age of 15, and I remember how I rode my bicycle
The 4 miles across town almost every day that summer, two and a half years ago
How much effort I put in to make the 40 minute ride over, just to come visit you

Heidi
I remember your friends and they were nice at first, until your best friend Jaina
Thought the word *****, was a part of everyday language and I realized
She wasn't even good for much except putting people down and going outside to smoke

Heidi
I remember the stories you told me about them and how you said you felt obligated
To take care of them, and that they meant a lot to you, how you loved them
For their silly jokes and shenanigans and just the fact that they were "******* badass"

Heidi
I remember when Jaina, Miles, and David were over one night I came for dinner
They just walked in unprompted, and ruined the time we had alone
I remember how you all laughed at me when David made a sick joke about my racial makeup

Heidi
I got up from the table and went to the bathroom to cry that night
Not because I had to go to the bathroom but because you replied to his joke by laughing along
And you even made another joke saying "But he's our token asian"

Heidi
I remember sitting next to you on your bed when we would watch movies all evening
But I also remember your attitude and the things you called me the whole time
"Asian buddy"

Heidi
I started noticing things about you I hadn't seen before because my love was blind
Like how badly you treated people, just like your friends did
Like how self-absorbed you were and how quickly you and your friends ego's fell apart

When you realized going to the corrupt Art Institutes for art degrees to make art was probably a bad idea

Heidi
You were having a hard time finding yourself and what you wanted to do with your life
Because you'd spent all your time in high school thinking you were on top of everyone
I led you on for almost 8 months before I decided enough was enough

Heidi
I should have left you early on because during those 8 months I tried to change you
Talk to my friends, I talked to them nonstop about you and what I should do with you
I remember how I only stayed because it wouldn't be fair to you for all the work we put in

Heidi
I'm sorry I hurt you but you hurt me too and as time went by I realized
You weren't even close to someone I wanted to spend any time with
You were nothing I could love, a proven *****

I miss you Dad.
I guess I'm lucky;
At least I have a
Dad.
But do I?
You send me money,
Expecting that
It's all I need.
But when I check the mail,
I don't want to see
Money;
I want to see
you.

If I ever did want you back,
I'd cry out.
Don't fight the facts,
Was walking out worth it?
Have you ever noticed,
your mistakes are presented in my life?
But I am a strong person,
I do have guts,
And I don't care any longer,
But lately I do feel sorry for,
Y O U,
Not me.
And just so you know,
I forgive you Dad.

When are you
Coming home, dad?
I had been waiting for you.
When can I see you again?
Have you forgotten about me?
I thought I was your princess, dad.
My crown has fallen to the ground.
My castle has crumbled down.
Where were you, dad?
Where were you when I needed you?
Where were you when
Everything was falling apart?
Dad, why did you leave?
Have I been bad?
Did I do something wrong?
Why did you make mum cry?
Mum is still crying
And it’s making me sad.
Please come back.
I miss you, dad.
I promise
I’ll be a good princess.

There she was, with her jeans on
And a fishing rod in her hand
Underground, where the earth decides
What the brain is for, I know

And even in my mind’s eye
It’s taking so long to decide
And even at the back of the line
I make the run in record time

Thunderstorms were her theme song
And she’d never let me forget
Back in town, where the shallow grave
Isn’t shallow anymore

And even in in the moonlight
It isn’t worth it to deny
And even though her tone was unkind
I walk around the caution signs

Only you can make suffering sound like a good thing
How can you make the will of a man sound like nothing

Show me how in a vacuum you still hold the best hand
Tell me now is it time to prepare for your last stand

Open up at the end of the world you forgive me
Shut me down with apocalyptic apathy

There she was, in my bedroom
With a silver wig on her head
On the ground, where we fall asleep
On the maple floor, alone

And even in the sunlight
It’s taken so long to go blind
And even at the end of time
I gallop through the finish line

My ego’s about to come crumbling down
She’s rocking a 7magnitude underground
She doesn’t tell me what is wrong
She gonna make me guess
She wants to watch me rot
Until there’s nothing left