I use pain for inspiration.
Because something that is terrible at face value
Can be used to create
Beautiful masterpieces.

They say time stops in a black hole
but who is they and what do “they” really know

What I’ve learned here on earth is time stops when I am with you

in sheets or
the back of a car or
a living room or
darkness

Warm flesh melting
we are dripping
ticking

The way you tilt your head back with parted lips
and let something loose from the core of your stomach

and the way your eyelids flutter and roll
like you are a wave I am riding out perfectly

The way you tangle your fingers into my hair
and hold my hips in the palm of your hand like
this is it

writhing and uncomplicated

people speak of passion

I speak of lust and
want and
this is it

The way you bite into my neck like
you wish you could draw blood
but instead you bring marks to the surface that stay for days
leaving me with a scarlet harlot letter

and the weight of your hand on the back of my head
pushing you further into me
until my nose rests on your skin
and I can feel the tight tendons in your leg and
this is

it

I'm so filled with self loathing
I have a problem believing
Anyone could love me
And then you happened
You, with your perfect grades,
And perfect family,
Perfect everything
It makes sense you'd want a perfect girlfriend
So why'd you settle for me?
Why am I next to you?
Me, the definition of average
It doesn't add up
Why is there an us?
Us, You and I
Perfect and average?
You're not a good liar
I can tell when you do
And it seems you're not lying
When you say "I love you"
I don't know what to think anymore
Because you've told me all the things
I never told myself
And I think I needed that
More than anything

Shadowed hearts
Dancing on a broken flame
Where they are going
They shall remain

Fractured souls
Ignoring the burning urge
To become whole
Into darkness, they surge

Candle light
Illuminating the shelter
Of those alone
With lives so helter-sketler

Drifting comrades
Ignored calls in the dead of night
Lost in thoughts
They've backed down from the fight

Holy water
Poured out by a pastor
Forsaken love
From thy father

Abandoned faith
Drenched in the guilt of blood
Confusion sets in
Guidelines as clear as mud

I fell in love with you all over again in a hospital waiting room

I fell in love with the deep purple under your eyes
like delicate bruising

I fell in love with the paleness of your lips
from lack of nutrients

I fell in love with the way you moved slowly
and achingly wrapped in a white blanket the color of your skin

I fell in love with the deep crimson of your blood
as it ran through your IV

I fell in love with you again as I laid with you in the hospital bed at 3 am

we’d been there for 10 hours
and you had a little too much morphine in your system
and a lack of sleep
when you pulled me close and said

“I could really see myself marrying you some day”

and that was right before you kissed me with your dye stained lips
so they could see your insides better on the x-ray

I fell in love with you again when you looked at me with your
big hazel eyes that turn black around the edges

You said god had sent me from heaven
An angel to watch over you

I'm not too sure about that but what I do know is:

I Do

She never was a swimmer
Although she's had plenty of practice
Drowning in her tears.
Her face, it's beautiful
The streaks glisten like crystals
And her smile is as pure as gold.
From the outside
They would never be able to tell
That she looks for happiness at the bottom
Of a bottle of Pinnacle.
They would never know
That her family is falling apart
That her ex-boyfriend left her for dead
And no one was there to save her.
To them, she is a star
But stars are just ***** of gas and fire
With unstable compositions
Always running the risk of an explosion.
She's just running around
Trying to get some answers
Trying to understand herself
And how she let this happen.
She needs a cushion
A pillow
A blanket
Or maybe someone else
To fall smoothly and swiftly into
As she completely breaks down.