why am I always so afraid?

I am derelict
Heaven sent
Down in the puddle
With my eyes to the sky
I'll never forget the feel of your secret silk
As it slipped through my fingers
All of the light in the world
Captured between our parting gaze
Sacred soul fire raging
Then in a whisper dying out
Lucky me I kept the spark
Enough to keep burning
Long after you have been gone

I pulled at your edges
Soft, straight lines at first
Then thick, caterpillar fuzz spirals
Echoing into the vast expanse
Of your deep under ground
No map or metal
To shine within those dark caverns
But the deeper I traversed
I noticed a glow
Stumbling upon soul fire
Left out here in the wild
Explains your constant thirst for foreign soil under bare foot
Chasing oceans of sand
Just to drink the same vent-salted water
Our tongues entwined over powers with sweet
Feeding the high of a new sunset sky
This place inside, it is golden
True
It's holy and priceless
Completely you

Listen to his words
You'll know who he wishes to be
Watch him live
And you'll know who he is.

If you find
That who he is
And who he wishes to be
Is the same person

Consider yourself fortunate,
You have found a genuine soul.

One day you'll meet a guy
Who'll tell you you're beautiful
And you will believe him
More than you did me.

Your eyes were laced
with fatigue induced red lines
that were not unlike
the red lines that laced the world maps I used to obsess over
before I realised
that the world that existed beneath
your fatigue laced eyes
was worth travelling too.