To be alone is not so tragic,
to be alone, and yet at peace is magic
but oh to be alone with you
That my love is magic meant for two,
For in this life are many troubles,
we both have more than just a few
but when I see the love that lies behind your eyes
My troubles fade from view
And my world is born anew.

There is probably some grand ideal I am protecting
what it is I do not care to know

Survived another Year
Amongst the ruin of a stranger's land
With the dusty roads, exuding those waves of heat
A sandstorm blowing in from the east
as a War song echoes in the west

I am Blinded by Rage
Though I am glad I do not see

Throughout this ordeal
The mask of Patriotism has fallen off
But I am truly free here
Far from the Home of the Brave

I stand here with bruised fists
and a battered face
With scars on my back
and a smile that isn't whole
Fighting the Good Fight

I stand here
To express my gratitude to War and Conflict
For Blood is Gold
and I am Ready to Bleed

i love that gentle touch you have left for me
                             after 11 at night
when we're lost in breathing
and holding onto
                                         future struggles
i love the slight pitch change of your voice
when you laugh at my jokes
               and chuckle when my voice breaks
after 1am as it always does
                                                  when im tired
i love that you ask if im feeling well
inquiring about the last mental
                                                  breakdow­n i had
simply needing to know
that im okay
                          not what why when
i love how you call me
               sweetie
                     dear
                        love
to catch my attention
to ask what time it is
and whether i need sleep
by which its 2am
and im in love with you

i'm barely sorry that i hurt you
i didn't even love you
and now you're giving me
passive aggressive silence
hoping i'll give a ****
darling, i know that trick
darling, don't waste your time
darling, be careful
just because it's working
doesn't mean i care
it just means i miss you
r attention

i know it isn't fair
you did everything right
you were good to me
but everyone's heart
belongs to someone
and mine was already
taken

so when i call at two am
don't pick up
you're just another
*******.

She never noticed
books of poetry.
Her life was busy
with empathy
for those troubled
from pains scratched
on psyches from
neglect, abuse
or sacraments to fallen Gods.

She seldom heard music
except when,
heartsick from lost love,
she wallowed in vain misery
or during her youth when
hit parades blasted from
solid state radios
in dashboards, or from
jukeboxes flashing
come hither.

She thought little of flowers
nor paused to note scents,
shades or grace on
stems of green.  Her head
was busy with
important matters,
day-to-day grinding
away on work or play.

Now alone,
she absorbs whiteness from
clouds,  motion from birds,
or fragrance from flowers
with senses dulled by
age, injury or illness.
She sifts through her
day looking for
fresh tranquility.

Later someone told me my poetry should be read aloud
with the feelings that I want to be heard
that my poetry should be spoken word
spoken truth
spoken loud

It was about my struggle
although mine are quite small
a white girl in white bread world
middle class family
stuck in the middle of two cultures
some image issues
some insecurities
being taught to be subservient
and quiet


Now my poetry speaks for itself it speaks with my voice
with my will and with my wanting
it speaks of the boys I like that I will tell I like them
it speaks of the dresses I will still wear even though they make me look ****
it speaks of the self defense classes I will take so I can proudly walk in the night with no fear
it speaks of the career that I will have in medicine
it speaks of the kids that I will raise simultaneously
it speaks to the world that I am me

as my struggles feelings emotions become personal
the words disappear

quiet only when I want them to be

because I am giving you
my spoken words
my spoken feelings
my spoken truth
my spoken life
and keeping a part of me for me

even while I'm speaking loud