years ago,
man made words
To describe feelings,
To help while you feel lost,
While searching for the words that fit,
live a life.

I never said I was an easy man to love.
Most days I don't even like the skin I live in let alone love myself for it.
When I see you, you make the days bearable,
You make the face looking back in the mirror smile at all the flaws, the insecurities.
But you left...
You left me worse off than when you found me.
you were my home, not just four walls.
I had a full heart and a empty mind
Your touch was silk, hugs wrapped me like warm Linen, gentle and caring.
Now it's restless fighting with myself,
It's banging my hands on the table to stop from crying at 3am
Its Wondering what flaws did i have that you couldnt accept.
What did I do to push you away, what did my love do?
Was it too forthcoming with my anxiety? Was it waking up at 6am checking all the doors and windows to make sure you were safe?
Or..
Was it simply me loving you when you only liked the idea of not being alone...

You say you wanna man
But your not willing to open yourself up
You say you want love
But your not willing to love the flaws
You say you want romance
But your not willing to give
You say you want trust
But your not willing to bleed
You say these things
But no action has been deserving of a man

She is but a lonely spellCaster
love sewn in her Linens
to touch is to fall in love.
With luscious silk
draped down her smooth curved body,
her hair fell like gentle rain on her robe.
I can feel the poison
coursing through my body
love has its grip on me.
A knight, turned a feeble old man
Wise to loves touch,
Yet never learns his lession,
for the Sorceress gets what she wants.
As my persistence dies trying to fight
so does her enjoyment
Making me jump through hoops
to get her to notice me..
and I'm released from her vicious spell.
I'm  left with nothing but emptiness and shame
for my love still lingers
for the treacherous spellcaster...

Unto the breach dear friends
together we fight depression
May we ask ourselves
why they don't want us?
The real question is why
do they only want themselves?
Even the mirror struggles looking at such indifference
they're emotionless desire for Beauty
has left them blind and bitter
yet we still wish we were special enough
to feel Grace from their presence.

Finally after she left
The world turned it's back on me
Everything dead to me.
Like a puppy in the rain with no collar
No place to call home
Stranded
After she left
My bed grew in size
At first it wasn't a heavy burden
Time with out her seem to still pass
now after dragging it around
all these years
The weight of her absence felt like the world.