It's quite obvious, don't you see?

picture Mother Nature, doomed to freeze
                periodically throughout the eternities.
Icicles form over each one of her
                 delicate joints,                                                        
n­umb her bones
                 to negative degrees,                                                         ­ 
she is not spared
                 by which she cannot control                                                     
lock­ed within this seasonal icebox,                                                          ­               
                not bearing a single key.
                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
Envision your
          fresh-lit cigarette                                                        ­            
whatever brand it may be
it gives your head
        a little lift,
exhale,
        *** appeal
and that filter
        kissing your lips
is a feeling unlike many.

So as you stand
         outside in the cold,                                                            ­    
smoke trailing from
         where you stand                                                            ­      
remember the wind
           only wishes to feel                                                           
a­s you do now,   

                                                        ­                                   
lit cigarette in hand.

come close




                                                                  lay next to me


I need to feel





                                                                     important


So, stay close






                                                                     remain next to me







                                                                                                                              I need to feel




    important.



                                                      Holding all





                                                                                                  the weight in my life



then you turn and you walk away from me

I
                                                               ­                                                               lo­ve
                                                                ­                                                                 ­               you
              
                               ­                                                                 ­       to
                                                              ­          the
                                                                ­                         horizon


                             where
                                                           the
         sun
                                               kisses
                    the
                                  ­                           sea,


                                                          ­                                               and
                                                                ­                           the
                                                             ­                                                 sky


          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­           fills
                                                           ­                                                                 ­           the
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                               creases

                                         ­                                                                 ­    where
                                                       ­                                  I
                                                               ­                                         fail
                   ­                                                              to
                                                              ­                                             fit
                                                             ­                           with  
                               ­                                  your
                                                                ­                     consistencies.

I suppose
as we grow older
the bitter wind
bites,
just a little bit colder.

The summer heat,
feels just slightly
more unbearable,
a tad  
too sweltering.

The wind whips
more aggressively
than before,
blowing through
the window screens
& underneath front doors.

Summer scent,
doesn't seem
to hold the same
saccharine bliss,
as it did
when we were
but kids.

Dread & gloom
appear with the
slow spit of rain
but,
do you remember a time
it filled
the puddles in which
you used to
laugh & play?

"Youth is
wasted on
the young"
We are so
often told.

Yet I see
no prevalence
in being
embittered & old.

Clear your hazel gaze; you are completely submerged in an underwater paradise, suspended in the motions of the current. No, you're not drowning, I've given you enough endearment & sustenance for you to breathe on your own- even in the abyss of my oceanic heart.
Of course, you always knew you could dear.
So smile & sail along the swaying tides of teal, graze my shipwrecks with your gentle hands & kiss along my roughest of reefs. Find a mermaid with an elfish face, maroon hair & red lips to taste. Feel no limitations of world above the surface, staying in this place with you forever would be oh-so perfect. The albatross of our concrete lives, lived out in cities made of glass and steel, would never be found in a place such as this- we are forbidden to sustain ourselves through more of such unhappiness.
For down here, we simply float on.  
We can get high in the waves, and sing all of your songs. For the water lifts all the worries we may have, in times when we are not strong.
You dove into me, simply chipping away at the stoical walls I've fashioned over time. The fortress comparable Alcatraz, I built to keep my demons in and every single soul out. But you, the flighty sea spirit (believe me we are birds of a feather), made your way to my castle among the waves; soaring over all misconceptions & doubts.

You are the sand that I hold
        
              for mere seconds before it
                   
                               slowly spills through
                                     
                                                 the cracks between
                                                        
                                                                    my fingers.
                                                        ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­    Leaving me with but microscopic granules,

insignificant nothings.

                                                               ­                  You are the white crested waves crashing upon the shore

warming my toes for only seconds in the

                                                                ­                                                                 ­                            damp sand.

You recede, to the deeper blue, leaving my toes too chilled to move.


                                                         ­                                            I can be your sunset, if you be my silhouette

imitate my morning light within the sky

                                                            ­               in your brilliant mind remind yourself, the sun is also a star.

I feel with each passing day, my flame slowly dies.

Green with envy, black with beauty
Red with passion, the blues not soothing.

White to black, in three seconds flat.
Love to hate, in just a snap.

Choose a side, any side
As long as it's one

Bite the bullet faster
And prepare your own gun

Crazed, then organized
Grey matter in between

Choose a hand, any hand
And call her your queen

Tell her you want her
Then want her to die

So settle her off
With a bullet behind her eye

Feel sadness, then succession
A stab of painful regression

Heavy hearted,
Though your feet shall tread light

As you run, disappear
Into the black curtain close of night.

I can't remember that place
that seemed like                                                                                                    Somewhere
last night. Giving in
giving up, till nothings left                                                                                        inside.
Where do you think that girl
who used to be                                                                                                             me
went? She grew up to be a woman,
worn, tired & spent.
Do you think                                                                                                                 a
heart inhabits her rib-cage?
Can there even be a                                                                                                    little
compassion shown?
What happened to that                                                                                              girl
with a story to be told?
I wonder if she saw me now
if she'd dare to let out her                                                                                        screams.
A scream she kept in
for all these years,
crying two words:                                                                                                   Help Me.

"We're gonna go through some **** eh? Tough ****, if you stick with me.."


                                                         ­          Baby, I promise. I'm not all that easy.

"Marry me"

                                                            ­                               What? Are you crazy?

your lips turn
in loving lines
on your face


"Well baby, I'm crazy bout you but that's not what I'm saying.
Listen, look at me.
I know life's a ***** right now and you're not even 18, but I can tell you in all the deepest sincerity that you're the girl for me.
One day, in a different place
A better time, our own space
We'll live a simple, joyous life
and start a small family.
I love you so much.
Just please don't leave me."*

And for once
in my entire
life,
I've fallen head over heels
& believed.

Baptizing her head
in a basin of ash
the stark white of her
angel hair
now smokes with cinder black
Her eyes
green once,
now lighten in dramatic contrast
piercing white, ice blue
that leave your heart to tremble when she laughs.
Angular and insecure
her body a mere wasteland
of what it was before
For when He banishes an angel
she will walk the streets
as a *****.

My mouth can't help but oblige
              when I'm looking into your heavy
                        steeped, black espresso eyes.

A wicked, soulful grin
      tongue & cheek with ***** words
                 bite my lip & watch you grin.

Press my back up against the wooden door,
                            loosen the lock on my lips
                                     you'll definitely enjoy what I
                                                                   have in store

Run your hand under my waistband
            and touch me like a painted maid
                                                 soulful, melodic
                                                         passion breathes  
                                                           in the tongue riffs
                                                                           you play
                   the symphony of pleasure you produce
       is such a tease

Yet someone else has left lines in your sketchbook,
paint splatters on your notebooks,
memories in your songs hooks.

All the lines of lyrics, memorized
recited to me time after time
darling, open up your
water coloured veins to me
let me patten your psychedelic heart
and watch my paintings bleed.

I am but a single
dry dead leaf
laying beneath an endless willow tree
around the waters bend
close to the toadstool pow-wows
only inhabited by the faeries.

& the moon- she still shine,
captured but by a sphere, yet so free
her light may breathe
a chilling, frigid touch
between the memories you
have buried so deep.

So please do not fret your wondrous mind
over all of your insecurities,
though she may shine with a chilling reminder
I promise that in your eyes
a beautiful soul
is all she sees.

As my mind races I feel
I am unable to describe
the exact emotion you
have gently
injected into my mind.
My eyelids grow heavy
my minds afloat to space
all that is left in my world as I know it,
is the perfection on your face

      You see darling,
      I am a hija de la luna;
      the stars will align with
      Castor & Pollux
      Cancer, Aphrodite, & Fortuna.
      They greet me as old friends,
      join me in my nights of fantasy.
      tell me darling what do these strange constellations mean?

Oh how I pity thy cataracts
eyes white & glassy
but I promise the warmth will melt your frozen gaze
& in time, you will see.

       The horizon shifts as I do to you,
      how long do you wish to be at sea?

Alas, you know my poison  
doubt seeps into my skin
like an 80 patch.
Through thick & thin,
even on the sorest of feet
I will skip merrily along your path.

      Round my head I gaze,
      The sky has been stained
      with fuchsia & clementine
      among the blues.
      tell me again, how may I find your presence within the hues?

Wrap yourself within my blanket
of ease & security.
Trust me with your life or not,
for I want to be
there, when you most
need me

      You cannot help
      you are a broken bird
       I cannot deny my psyche as it worries
      does a dove not care about her nest back home
       when she soars above
       the sea?

Next to the beating arrhythmia
you try hold dear ‘twixt your ribs
my favourite poem of yours has changed
where I will weave a small nest
dream of your lips
& the sound of rain.

Once again,
as I retread over
the fragments of your
literary beauty.

You write in the most potent essence of
our connection embodied.

I am so ever ensnared by the rhythm
that your words play on my heart strings.

Especially, now
In this time where I am so desperately in need;
of just
a small dose of affection

trace your fingers on my lips gently
for if you play my pulse
like you do that guitar

my soul will sing to yours
through my heart beats

Oh,
      how your words drown my tormented soul in
                    nothing but their warm currents,
                            they caress down my neck and rest themselves on my chest
                                              to find my uneven heartbeat nonetheless.

                                                               ­                                        And,
                                                            ­             I regret to inform you
                                      my wants stay hidden with time & space above
                          for I had never imagined,
      that it would be me you to want love

A dream,
     the only comparison I would find suitable to describe you
                                                    one million miles away,
                                                           next time you wander the streets at night
                                                                ­         find my reflection in the puddles
                                                                ­              seeping through your woven fibre shoes

                                                          ­           I find myself hoping,
                                                      not­ to lose you
for that would be a calamity I could not bear
                I would never hear my name on your lips
                                   Or feel your steady hands make their way through my hair

                                                               ­  At the top of your lungs,
                                                      sing­ to me
                    for I long to hear your voice
       & this time,
the waves will carry it close to me

Daisy petals & orchid blooms
          rest tentatively in the concave of my neck
                  a pattern of small petals reveal themselves past my clavicles
                         down my sternum
                               covering the rosy buds atop my soft breast

                                              Sir,
      ­                                  will you brush them away
                
                 with a kiss?
                                                           ­         give me
                                  someone
                                                         to hold
                              give me
                                                    starlit hours,
     seconds,
                   to miss.

Howling; chilling the frigid air even more so than the skeletal figurines (they used to be trees) that rim the desolate street. And the moon- she waxes & wanes, refusing to stay in the same stage (stay sane?). For she never sees her lover, Mr. Sun- he always runs away from the darkness, though it is at night when she rules her fun. So she tip-toes, slowly emerges, to peek carefully across the night sky and hopes that perhaps at one moment in time, she'll gaze into his blinding white light.*

....but this bed still doesn't feel my own

                     desolate
                                    & cold


      I still lie  


                                                



                                                             ­           alone







For your heart
    Is the only place
        I could ever truly call home.

But no matter how many books, or paragraphs
Sentences, words & letters I write to you
It never seems it is enough I do
Let me walk you through my life & show you one thing
The main reason I tend to excuse myself,
And leave your head wandering.

The first incidences happened when I was merely 8
But you see it didn't stop there,
It's only been 2 years since I've escaped.
Tear-stained cheeks & strange men
Now I'm sure you understand

But you can be my tomcat
If I can be your little kitty
Let's paint the world
Touch the sky
Find our souls
& run the city

We'll wake up every morning
Just before father sun finds his way about
Through sleep, I'll whisper gently across the pillow
*"it's too early
  to wake up
  to start figuring this out."

In & out
Hearts collide and pound
You've opened my door
For things I never imagined
I could indulge in before
You play at my gates; as we let time escape
Just run away with me babe
Let's just get high & drive  
Into dawn, dusk or the night sky

We are but the typical teenage dream
Living life on the edge
Day by day
Sets our damaged hearts at ease
For I could never imagine living a life more blessed
And happier moments than these; for they are simply timeless.

Drifting on a steady tide

                    Of euphoric teal,

Abroad the dozing sea

In broad daylight, my heart solely yearns to feel;
That
           kick-
                   started
backwards            flipped,
        butterfly
& honey-
                 dipped
Choking-on-my-words sensation
Smooth talking me,
    to maximum elation
Move your steady hand
Upwards,
         along the seam
Of my glitter covered, purple faerie
Ripped,
        skinny jeans
                                May our love take us to cloud 9
Bodies pulsing in the drivers side
Hips glide; perfect, precise
Against the window of the frigid outside
As I
Climb into the backseat
Eye to eye,
                   find your breath on my lips
                                       my hand under your hips
       Your exhalation is my favourite high
Teasing *****, electrify this body baby

                          Push
                         it
                             deep
                     inside
                  of
                     me
            please?

I bite your lip, always a tease
Mind enthralled, car hazy

                                 Harder sir,
                     you've kept me waiting.

                                                                  Yes,
                      oh

                                        please
                
              Daddy can you feel me squeeze?

I feel your body
I feel your heart
I feel your thoughts
I feel your soul
But you're the only thing in this entire world
That makes me feel like I've lost control
This perfect state of pleasure
Lips loose,
                 hips roll
Heavy heaving intakes
Of cigarette perfume
Drifting past the rings of your
amber-gold,
They find my softened eyes
You lean in
to whisper against
my neck
                 "I will love you until the end of time."

Shadows on the walls
even in the prettiest shades
in the arch that stretches
from dawn to dusk;
I see the dark of day.

                             It is in moments such as these
                             where I need you the most
                             to read every single thing
                             I've ever wrote about you;
                             my words act as the horrors host.

This sense of
unrelenting security
is it truth or foley?
for it is hard
to teach me to run
if you dear
are only crawling

I remember you well,

                             in the Chelsea Hotel


               you were talkin'


                                    so brave & so sweet.


     Giving me head,


                       on the unmade bed


   While the limousines wait in the streets.