3:41 am
a late night cigarette
                         I'm coming down again
but lay your heavy head to rest

         I would wake you
but love, I realize
that sleep is the only place
where peace falls on your restless mind

Pull & drag
                     now it's 3:45
conscious take cover
allow my tired brain to hide

Chills & a dry cough
hallucinogenic view
baby medicate me,
                              for you're the only drug I choose.

You are
           my sip of
espresso,
           through all the hazy days
Light parts around your face
                                         Curious eyes ablaze
                & I couldn't honestly
                        tell you another way
                          that I'd want to spend
        
                                                              a lazy Monday

Mind racing backwards,
Wrist bleeding against the wall
This is my story,
Scar tissue and all

There is but a small, blushing flower
blossomed under the shelter
of the evergreens

The joy, harbouring small life
amidst the shadows
of this nuclear winter

Huddled round the single flame to share
Seeking warmth through Decembers despair

Oh, hot water drain my sins away
Until I pull back the curtain with hell to pay

I choke on my sobs, face to the grout
Penance for when I've drowned you out

One question still lies across the sea:
Darling, why would you ever want a girl like me?

You carry my limp body




                          as the world disintegrates before us



          ashes- like baby butterflies; tumbling off








                  your broken wings

Oh my ever fragile bird
Do not fret your lovely mind
Your hearts wandering over mine  
Your words are in my head

Do not quiver your brow
Or bite your lip
Over the things we have
Not yet said

                         And how could I ever not need you?

With this connection so rare
Almost in describable
But I'll try my best
If you can bear
                          
               You are the crisp clean breeze of January

                             You are the smell of May at dusk
                                
                              You warm me with your July sun

                                    You fill me with October rush  


And please believe me when I say
We'll walk through a forest on a perfect summer day
Through the warmth, recite the Decemberists
And play me your beautiful tunes

                                                & baby stay
                                       up
                    with
me
                                                
                                  In the wake of

An  
                  early
                                      June
                                                       moon.

My heart physically aches with a raw, agonizing twinge so unlike any other I have felt before, when you show me how truly broken you are.
The intake of oxygen through your hollow frame gives you no ease, glass shards shred your windpipe each time you decide to breathe.
I wish I could take away your pain!
I would take it upon myself, although it sounds insane.
You are the sun poised in the sky above, covered by the clouds
You are the bluest sea whose expanse is limitless, yet only do what the winds allow.
Love,
It breaks my soul.
To watch your broken heart hobble home.
But one day,
I know you'll see love.
Perhaps even my own.

I'm choking

                  Gasping

                                    ­I drown

For my lungs collapse in the water
Like my heart interprets your words
My adoration and lust for both
Leaves me breathless.

-What would it be like
        to feel the warmth
      of your bare chest
   next to my
     crooked spine
just before
          the early sunrise
            
             And against the mid-morning sky
                  Whether'd be light or cloudy
                            You'd sing to me

                    Harmonize sweet lullabies
                      We'd create masterpieces;
                                                          Sympho­nies-

                                      But for now I have something
                                                                ­  I cannot deny
yes
                                                          ­I have let heavens
                                                                ­Treat me fables
                                                 Instead of serving wine

Today I walk the dim streets,
On this bitter November night
For the home I gave hope in
For all these years
                                                  Was never truly mine
So I close my eyes and set my aching body down
On the corner of Bay & Queens
I dreamt of, now I envision
The comfort of your thin sheets,
-and it is so characteristically silly of you to think
that I care about their prestige.

                                      For they remind me of what I
                                                 Treasure in the deepest
                                                     Recesses of my being
                                                                ­         Open sea
                                                             ­        Bluest skies
                                    & white sand beneath my feet.
For all you are,
All you offer
And all you invite me to see  
Is my untouchable childhood paradise
             But wrapped such a frigid night as tonight,
Treasure so precious
Is hard to conceive.
  
        You probably wonder from time to time
       Where this obsession with the water came
                      But for years I hummed,
             I screamed at the top of my lungs;
                                  And I sang

                                Follow me
      to the sea, where I first called your name
But, alas
again the next line of my own hymn, is a lie
            
             For I called and you haven't came


   But I know you know where to find Neptune's
                                                       ­              daughter
She rests her head within the  w a v e s
And lets the various tides
Take the strands of her fragile mind
  away
   away
    *away

Speechless cannot hold
The emotion
I feel essential to express

                                                   My


                   Sensitive



                                                 Eccentric



                      &




                                        Endeared


Cancer man.

                                    You
                              Cannot
                            Even
                        Fathom
                      The
                    Restraint
                  It
                Takes
              To
            Stay
          Speechless

I cannot comprehend
the words that so ever
desperately

Spill over the dam
You created -ever so carefully- with your
lips

You simply burst through my floodgates
And drown me in


                                                                                  serendipity

Yet,

                     every morning


                                                       ­           I know




                                                            ­                                          that just after dawns break


                                                         ­                                                                 ­                              
                                 you'd sing to me



&

                      
gift me



 with



                                                             ­                                    unstained



                                                              ­                                                                 ­                 felicity.

(oh) I stumble wired and thin
You've pinned me under your thumb
To watch me come undone again

(don't) you know you're sewn into my head
Work of a thick, jagged needle
And a rusty, barbed wire thread

Chorus:
I feel her coming
I can hear her screaming
Yeah, I know she's just teasing
And I'm powerless to fight back

(Yeah) I sense her haunting
Engulfed in self-loathing
You know, she's only wanting
Her weary mind to falter back

I wake
To the iridescent cascade
Of pale light
Streaked across your face

I dance, sweet temptress in hand
As I stray out of my mind
And fix myself another line

Chorus (again)

Oh baby don't you see these scars?
Break my neck and spare my heart
Daddy can you spot my tracks?
Daddy when will you face the facts?

Your child has grown
Your baby's moved on
And now your little girl
Is dead and gone

LOVE IS BLINDNESS**

I don't wanna see

                                     Can't you wrap the night

              Around
                           me?



                                     The thread is slipping
                                     The clock is ticking


                          *Love is blindness...

My eyes wander over
               The stubble that so ever
     Gradually
                            Shadows your face
When I know
                             You've been having a bad time

No I'm certain

                                  That you'd never really tell me
What

            Goes on in your head.


But oh!
Do
     I
       Ever
               Long

                            For
                                   Your
                                            Soul-filled

                                                               ­  Voice

To whisper my name

For your
Muscled
               Arms,
                          Tanned
                                         Torso
                                                    &
                                                         Chiselled
                                                                ­        Shoulders
To surround me in intimacy

But most of all,

                                        I
                                    Crave
                      ­                The
                                   Feeling
                                       Of
                                   Passion

                                    When
                                       We
                                   ******
                                        In
               ­                       Sync

                                    ­  And
                                       You
                                     Reveal
                                    Yourself
                   ­                      To
                                         Me
                                           .

I wake up

to the iridescent cascade of pale light
Through the

                                                               ­                 mahogany and tangerine stained leaves
A meridian oasis,



               dolloped with white
non-senses

                                        I roll wearily and sore


towards the warmth of your bare chest

In hopes,
                            That I will find

Solace

I can't think of the correct words to describe
Exactly what you are to me
I can't begin to explain

The surprise

That I fell so smoothly into your
Honey stare

I pulled myself out of the cool blue water
In pursuit of your amber gaze

I just can't seem to think clearly anymore

My

             Thoughts



Aren't
     Aligned


                              In


               Any      Way

I just need the loving touch of an angel
To bring me back to sanity

                           Sweet and gentle man

I ask you

                      Gently and carefully




Let me bathe in


                                    Your aura


         Of hazy night, and deep raspberry perfume

Leaves pile lazily on the ground,
Their tawny red, and chocolate brown
Radiance
Like an unsolved puzzle
Wafting earthy aromas to my chilled nose
And awaken the eager little girl inside,
With her ebony hair
And baby blue eyes

Time



               Is



                          But

A


                                                                 Number


A slight movement of the earth around the sun



Such




                           A


       Waste



Of a life.









                 Better spent living,


      


                                                          Then to keep




           Track




    


                               Of something




            As



                                     Pointless



                      As time


                                                            Don't you think?