I suppose I'm uncertain, to a certain degree,
Whether being free is all its cracked up to be
I'll own that I want to be owned, just a little bit
I belong to that genre; "I belong to him"

Pond lilies basking,
Misty buds of sleepy rain,
  .  .  .  Water envelopes.

I must avoid this
Body shaking
Palms sweating
Heart racing
Pain ensuing
All over.

My head
My stomach
My lower back
Everything burns.
Everything stings.

I want to scream.
I want to cut.
I want to die.

All because I lost a homework assignment.
Or I'm running late.
Or I had an argument with my parents.
Petty things, enormous reaction.

I have learned to quiet those tendencies
Because I can feel them coming on.
I feel the compulsions raging inside of me
Like someone has detonated a bomb.

Breathe.
Slow your mind by
Repeating a phrase
Over and over
Round and round
It turns.

I am okay
I am okay
I am okay.
I must continue to remember
That these things do not determine
My future, my life, my existence
Me.

These are the things that one must constantly think
While in the midst of a panic attack.