I did not believe in love
I do not
I have many thoughts
I am not me lately
I want to be someone else
Anyone but me
This pain aches every day
I won't let myself pass away
I miss you sister and I need you
You taught me more about womanhood than any other and now
I need you more than ever
Please
I would say please come back but
I do not want that to happen
I know you are more safe than you have ever been
Perhaps you ended up in heaven
I can only hope for the best for you
You were my sister and my best friend too
I love you lots and I need you so much
I need you so much

I am fully aware that I need to let out my energy into the arts that I create
I am a woman of many talents and it's starting to eat me alive
I can not survive
if I continue to deprive
my body of what it longs for the most
and that is love and art
My baby's father
He is the one who made things harder
I still love him and I know he loves me but together would do us no good like salt and tea

I needed an outlet
So I sit to write
Will I educate myself on these poem lines?
The veins in my hands are more aggressive than ever
These headaches won't leave
My eyebrows are not groomed
The lump in my skin is growing
The baby is too
I have this new job pushing shoes
Selling them and buying them too
I need more money
I will soon start school
Does anyone write this way anymore
Will I learn the right way before...

Being away from you was probably the worst feeling in the world
I never realized that the term homesick can also apply to people
I am homesick for you
I miss you
This time there is no meeting up
This time there is nothing
I will not be able to see you again
I will not be able to see you again
This pains me deeply

I felt protected next to you
I felt like you understood
I felt like you were always there to help
When no one else would
I can not believe that you are gone
It hurts today
Tomorrow
Yesterday

Honestly not giving a ****
Always singing or dancing
Always laughing
Struggling and asking for help
No one lent a hand
I am sorry that this was your reality
You deserved so much
You went through too much much for this to be the end
I am hoping to reunite with you
I am hoping to reunite with you

I wasn't there and you withered away
I wish that I could have understood how much you needed me
Before it was too late
It would be nice to see you again and hold your hands and sit on your lap
It would be nice just to see you smile
It would be nice to see you dance again
Like you did when we were kids
You always kept a smile on your face through the toughest times
You always brought joy to the people around you.
I love you, Sister,