We’re skipping stones
On still waters
That might
Be better left alone

We’re replaying songs
For our needy souls
That know
The words by heart

We’re catching glances
Of subtle signs
That possibly
Know the way

We’re easy times
Of years gone by
That familiarness
Never fades

We’re hopeful souls
Of our imperfect world
That maybe
Someday is our day

I told him
No more
The texting
Hurt too much

He moved on
But kept
A grip
On my heart

I’m letting go
Piece by piece
Tear after tear
Day by day

Tonight
I’m on the edge
It glistens
Beckoning me
To join

I see
The darkness
With its shimmer
Telling me it’s ok

The blade
Is sharp
Full of promises
Of peace

I’m wise
To the beckoning
As sleep rushes
Over the pain.

I miss the early us
Where our clothes
Hit the floor
Before our eyes met

I miss the early us
Where we expected
Nothing but
Before the truths surfaced

I miss the early us
Where mornings
We’re lazy
Before days changed us.

I miss the early us
Where dreams existed
In our heads
Before reality set it

The sharp point
Brings relief
I can’t explain
The release

The quick pain
Frees the hurt
I hold inside
Like poison

The afterward
Uncovers a calm
I crave
Despite the scar

I need you
To want me
Embrace the crazy
And all that I am

I need you
To know me
Love the broken
And all I am

I need you
To desire me
Appreciate the flaws
And all that I am

I need you
To accept me
Desire the girl
And all that I am

I thought
I knew love
Once upon
A time
A tall man
With dusty boots
And twang
Made of honey

He put
A crown
Upon my head
Dubbed me
Princess
In his mind
He took
Me into
His bed
Just for
A little time

Life turned
The tiara
Slipped
His shoulders
Slumped
And vinegar
Dripped off
His tongue

The only
Thing
That lasted
Were his
Dusty boots

You don’t know me
Your struggle
Isn’t mine

You don’t live this
Your life
Can’t compare

You don’t understand
Your existence
Won’t comprehend

You don’t get this
Your world
Won’t collide

Disdain
Boils in my blood
How does he
Not sense it
When he walks into the room?

Hatred
Oozes out my pores
How does he
Not taste it
When his lips are on my forehead?

Numbness
Keeps me still
How does he
Not feel it
When he holds me in his arms?

Contempt
Fills me now
How does he
Not know this
After all that we've been through?

The line is thin
I walk it nonchalantly
As if I don’t care
Secretly I do

The bridge is high
I dangle carelessly
As if I’m not scared
Maybe I am

The end is close
I tease it unknowingly
As if I know
Truthfully I don’t

The day is long
I fake my way through
As if I’ll be here
Probably I won’t

It sits on my chest
Like an anvil
Weighing me down
Causing me pain

It feeds on my soul
Like a parasite
Eating away slowly
Leaving me empty

It steals my joy
Like a thief in the night
Robbing my being
****** me bare

It leaves me lonely
Like a closing door
Sealing my fate
Breaking my heart.

It scares me
How easy
It would be
letting go
The end
But the
aftermath
Holds me
Still
I’m more
Than me
People
Who care
I can’t
Be the cause
Of their
Sadness
I’ll pretend
I’m ok
Until the end

Oh new guy
This is me

Scars
Carefully concealed

Crazy
Held in check

Drama
Politely hidden

Paranoia
Dismissed quietly

Reality
Completely ignored

You get to be
The one who
Walks away
Unharmed
Behind you
Bombs exploding
Lives ending
You’ve no time
For looking back
Not your problem
You said goodbye
Dusted off your hands
Your life moves on.

I left a crease
In the blind
So the moonlight
could sneak in
And calm me
As I cry
A million tears
For what was
And what is
Caress my cheek
Moon
Tell me
All will be ok
Reassure me
Through
The night
Until
The sun
Takes your place

I hate this girl
I’ve become
Needy and desperate
For some man
To say she’s pretty

I hate this truth
I’ve searched
Lonely and longing
For a reply
To say I’m good enough

I hate this life
I’ve lived
Alone and waiting
For reason
To say it will be ok

If it were that easy
A simple lay
Would replace you

If it were that easy
A hey beautiful
Would make my day

If it were that easy
A tender moment
Would erase you

If it were that easy
A happy day
Would exist

Imperfect
My skin
Is too soft
My body
Not tight

Unwanted
The flaws
Are too much
For you
To ignore

Rejected
My insides
Don’t make up
For what the outside
Lacks

You are straight lines
I am scribbles

You are clean floors
I am dust bunnies

You are hospital corners
I am an unmade beds

You are perfect creases
I am wrinkled pants

You are straight and narrow
I am slightly off course

You are the one
I am the forgotten

You are in love
I am so afraid

No one can love me
I’m broken
Beyond repair

No one will stay
I’m used goods
Not worth their time

No one understands
I’m not perfect  
Beneath the cracks

No one gets
I’m worth the effort
Beneath the surface

You don’t have
To love me
I’m good
On my own

You don’t have
To need me
I got this
On my own

You don’t have
To pretend
I’m satisfied
On my own

You don’t have
To say the words
I’m wise enough
On my my own

You don’t have
To stick around
Im strong enough
On my own.

If I sit
Still enough
Maybe no one
Will notice

If I stay
So quiet
Maybe no one
Will hear

If I linger
Out of sight
Maybe no one
Will care

If I scream
Into the dark
Maybe no one
Will  shiver

If I fall
By myself
Maybe no one
Will follow

I’m hesitant
Your hands in my hair
Your breath teasing my ear

I’m scared
Your words in my head
Your scent lingers on my skin

I’m doubtful
Your eyes piercing mine
Your embrace holds me tight

I’m surrendering
Your play wins me over
Your presence wrecks me

There will be a day
When you no longer matter

There will be a day
When I dont cry over you

There will be a day
When I forget what we were

There will be a day
When someone cares for me

There will be a day
When you aren’t my first thought

There will be a day
When I breathe without ache

There will be a day
When I break free

There will be a day
Where I no longer love you

What is it
That made me
Love you
I lowered my defenses

What is it
That held me
Steadfast in you
I lost myself

What is it
That sustains me
Content in love
I let go of fear

What is it
That knows already
Forever isn’t ours
I retreat in fear

What is it
That I can’t move on
Your words hurt
I still love you

Get over it
He left
He told you
That you weren’t
The one

His words
Sting in you head
Ran our course
Not attracted
I’m done

You licked
The wounds
Cried the tears
Cursed the gods
Moved on

I’m ok
Boys come and go
My heart mourns
As others long
To take his place

I miss you
Your arms around me
The stroking of my hair
Your easy laugh in my ear
Your questions I can’t answer

I fear you
Your gentle soul
The soft caresses
Your sweet words  
Your expectations I can’t be

I need you
Your subtle approach
The dancing eyes
Your irresistible appeal
Your need I can’t fill

You know the pretty
The made up
Put together girl
With curb appeal

You see the shiny
The presentation
Adorable lady
With hopeful intent

I know the reality
The crumbling
Sobbing mess
With heavy heart

I predict the end
The wreckage
Broken souls
With no hope

I’m lonely.  
Not for you
As you’ve
Moved on
But for
Someone
Who cares
A kind word
A gentle touch
A knowing glance
I’m not good
All alone
I need
Someone
And your
Not here

i want to dwell
I want to wallow
In the saddness

I want to linger
I want to stay
In this moment

I want to lament
I want to rage
In the now

I want to surrender
I want to give in
But I won’t

he picked
A mountain
To climb
Far away
And
Too high

he harboured
A dream
To succeed
In his heart
And
His head

he needed
A victory
To proclaim
To breathe
And
Live again.

If hope was enough
I’d love the life I long for

If belief paved the way
I’d walk the yellow brick road

If wonder made the map
I’d find treasures of you

If dreams came true
I’d know happiness at last

I’m not ok
If you ask
I’ll lie and
Say I’m fine
As a swallow
The drink
And drag
The needle
Across my skin
I’ll smile
To your face
And weep
Uncontrollably
Once im alone
I’m a put together mess
And no one knows
How I ache inside
It’s best not to tell
You get the mirage
While the tsunami
Takes a toll
On what’s left of me

My heart is so heavy
I’m not sure
There will be room
For another

My love is spent
I’m not sure
That I can
Love another

My life is long
I’m not sure
That I’m ready
To surrender

There aren’t words
Or phrases  
To describe
What the
Bloodletting
Releases

There aren’t people
Or persons
To eleaveate
What the
Needle
Eases

There are no programs
Or self helps
To lighten
What the  
Cut
Resolves

There is nothing
Or hope
To save
What the
Mark
Leaves behind

You ripped
My heart
From my body

You betrayed
My trust
From my being

You exposed
My insecurities
From my soul

You loved
My self
From your side

You never
My forever
From my heart

I wish I knew
Why you couldn’t love me
But maybe the truth
Would break my heart?

The edge lingers
Sometimes
I peak over
Tempting fate
I haven’t
The strength
To gaze too long
I’m a coward
In disguise
I dance alone
In the darkness
But the beat
Won’t allow me
To coreograph
My own end

We are
Skin on skin
Whispered words
Hard kisses
Gentle strokes
Urgent needs
Swelling desire
Hands in hair
Desperate pleas
Tangled sheets
Arching hips
Lip biting
Perfect rhythm
Sweat dripping
Eyes closed
Sweet release
Perfect end

Tonight
The cutting
Will be deep

Release
So welcome
Instead of pain

Feeling
The passage
Letting go

Tomorrow
The wound
Won’t even matter

It’s ok
That you forgot
I’m used
To it

I’m fine
All alone
I’m used
To it

It’s good
In the silence
I’m used
To it

It’s life
Not my choice
I’m used
To it

If you called
I would answer
And I would say yes

If you texted
I would respond
And I would agree

If you needed
I would be there
And I would be yours

Tonight
There is
A lone star
Mocking me
To make
A wish
I’m ignoring
His twinkle
In the dark
Because
I know
He won’t
Deliver

Lost
Just me
Alone
But ok
I know
That
I’m enough

I got nothing
No insightful words
Or encouraging prose

Love is beautiful
And heartbreaking
In the moment

We choose our battles
And pick our sides
Feelings be ******

Yet truth be told
Emotions exposed
This pain is real

I miss us
But I’m clear
Enough to know
We were temporary

I loved you
But I’m wise
Enough to know
We were fleeting

I desire you
But I’m strong
Enough to know
We were over

I mourn you
But I’m ok
Enough to know
We weren’t meant to be

He texts
I brace myself
I won’t respond
I know better

He uses words
I ve heard before
I get this game
I’m a seasoned pro

He haunts me
I love him still
I feel the feels
I’ll be strong

Tonight
I hit the wall
Where reality
And loss collide
The sadness sinks in
Weighs heavy
On my being
I need to grieve
But I’m afraid
The finality
Of letting go
Means losing him
And I’m not going ready
To say goodbye

I want to yell
At the universe
Can’t you see
How sad I am?

I want to scream
From a mountain
Can’t you see
How lost I am?

I want to cry
Beside your door
Can’t you see
How lonely I am?

I want to be ok
In my skin
Can’t you see
How hard I’m trying ?

I miss you
The us we were
The man
I knew

Life moved
Now you are you
The man
I don’t know

Now I mourn
Our past
The man
I lost

Time evolves
You fade away
The man
I loved