I hate lonely
I feel panic
And stress
As if something
Should happen

I like alone
I feel peace
And relief
As if nothing
Should happen

If they knew
The thoughts
So dark
And deep

If they knew
The scars
So precise
And everlasting

If they knew  
The longing
So great
And encompassing

If they knew
The girl
So lost
and on the edge

No one can love me
I’m broken
Beyond repair

No one will stay
I’m used goods
Not worth their time

No one understands
I’m not perfect  
Beneath the cracks

No one gets
I’m worth the effort
Beneath the surface

I’m not ok
If you ask
I’ll lie and
Say I’m fine
As a swallow
The drink
And drag
The needle
Across my skin
I’ll smile
To your face
And weep
Uncontrollably
Once im alone
I’m a put together mess
And no one knows
How I ache inside
It’s best not to tell
You get the mirage
While the tsunami
Takes a toll
On what’s left of me

I wish I knew
Why you couldn’t love me
But maybe the truth
Would break my heart?

If you called
I would answer
And I would say yes

If you texted
I would respond
And I would agree

If you needed
I would be there
And I would be yours

I’m prickly
The hairs on end
The senses alerted

I’m present
The bases loaded
The blade ready

I’m *******
The ending is known
The cut waiting

I’m released
The pain a savior
The scar a reminder