I’m an idiot
Thinking anyone
Would care
About this mess
That I’ve become.

A pretty package
With a **** voice
And quick wit
A nice facade
That’s what I am

Only I know
What lies beneath
Take the mask off
And you’ll see
And run away

Over my head
Drowning
Swimming against
The tide

Out of my league
Schooled
Learning too slow
To keep up

Chasing my tail
Chastised
Raising my game
Trying to survive

Breathing deep
Realization
Giving my best
But it isn’t enough

I’ve no right
And I won’t
But I miss
Your texts

I knew
Going in
That we are
Casual

I didn’t rely
But your words
Brought joy
To my day

I’ll be ok
A little sad
That your words
Have gone away

i want to dwell
I want to wallow
In the saddness

I want to linger
I want to stay
In this moment

I want to lament
I want to rage
In the now

I want to surrender
I want to give in
But I won’t

If it were that easy
A simple lay
Would replace you

If it were that easy
A hey beautiful
Would make my day

If it were that easy
A tender moment
Would erase you

If it were that easy
A happy day
Would exist

I like to be
The victim
The unknowing
Who got played

I like to fall
The martyr
The faithful one
Until the end

I like to plead
The honest dupe
The defendant
Full of belief

I like to ignore
The truth
The innocent
Who swallowed lies

I like to know
The reason
The stupid girl
Whose heart is broken

I’m mad
With it all
At myself
At the world
At you

I’m lost
Where am I
In this universe
In this life
In this moment

I’m tired
Trying so hard
To be strong
To be smart
To be it all

I’m a failure
In this disguise
Having faith
Having dreams
Having hope

I’m done
Without regret
I’m not strong
I’m not surprised
I’m just finished