I’m not
Your girl
We spend time
Talking
And between
The sheets
But we aren’t
A couple
Or a thing
We’re chill
Your word
Not mine
I’m ok
With it
It suits us
You fill
A void
That I
Can’t

We are
Skin on skin
Whispered words
Hard kisses
Gentle strokes
Urgent needs
Swelling desire
Hands in hair
Desperate pleas
Tangled sheets
Arching hips
Lip biting
Perfect rhythm
Sweat dripping
Eyes closed
Sweet release
Perfect end

The edge lingers
Sometimes
I peak over
Tempting fate
I haven’t
The strength
To gaze too long
I’m a coward
In disguise
I dance alone
In the darkness
But the beat
Won’t allow me
To coreograph
My own end

I want
To feel
Permanent
As if
My time
Mattered
To someone
Or something
Greater
Than me
I need this
Longevity
Be it physical
Part emotional
Maybe chemical
Possibly spiritual
I’m not choosy
Just a legacy
Of me

Alone
With some who loves you
Or with some you love

Are there lesser evils
Do we call it
As we see it
Does life stop
Or move on
Am I even allowed
To ask

The days
Roll by
With unanswered
Questions
Because the truth
Can’t be believed

Yet here I am
Forever hopeful
That the unknown
Will soon
Be my reality

I’ll keep my heart
Close to the vest
just in case
This life
Is not what it should be

He calls me beautiful
Yet I wonder
How I fit into
His world

He tells me I’m ****
Yet I wonder
How I’ll ever
Measure up

He comes back
Yet I wonder
How long this
Will even last

He makes me smile
Yet I know
How replaceable
This all is

You aren’t
The one for me
Time has told
The truth
I didn’t want
to believe

You aren’t
Enough for me
Lessons learned
The past
I wasn’t sure
To trust

You aren’t
What I believed
Fairy tales
The story
I dreamed
To come true

You aren’t
And that’s ok
The reality
The bittersweet
I accepted
To move on