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M Mar 16
What has been going on in my life, you ask? A lot.
But, where do I begin?
Oh, here goes nothing—
I was at a high, ecstatic to the point of transcendence.
Your love was my opioid and you were my dealer.
I was addicted, flaming, and uncontrollably blown away.
Until it was the end.
Your leaving struck me like a lightning bolt.
Natural laws dictate that death will soon follow.
So, I lay in the midst of it all; lifeless and unmoving.
The descend of this roller coaster ride swallowed me whole.
To the craziest twists and turns, left me with no air at all.
They said nothing lasts forever.
Yet, it felt like there was no coming out of what seemed to be the most excruciating ride of my life.
For years it lasted.
For years I was lost.
For years death was my salvation.
I prayed. I prayed hard.
But I could not hear anything; I was shut deaf to the sound of hope.
Lifeless.
Lifeless...
Lifeless..
Lifeless.
Is all that was left in my head.
Jumping from one guy to the next trying to fit them in your shoe.
Nonetheless, I failed every single time and fall into the deep darkness when I hear your name.
Then I was done.
I am done dwelling on what could have been.
And, I am back from the dead.
No longer searching.
No longer needing.
No longer hurting.
It has been a roller coaster ride like no other.
You see, roller coasters do not stay on the descend for very long.
It may feel endless.
Ride on it nevertheless.
Hold on tight until you reach the sweet ascend of a lifetime.
To the one that got away, my greatest love.. what a journey

PS. This poem probably sums up the past 8 years of my life.
M Sep 2018
do you ever feel like you want to rip your heart out of your chest? the feeling of clawing your way through your skin, your muscle, your sternum. how satisfying that must be to silence out the pain you are feeling inside.
do you ever feel like jumping out the train whenever it travels along the coast? the feeling of washing yourself clean of all the sadness that wraps your skin. how liberating that must be to swim breathlessly away from you.
there is so much more i have yet to say. but i am tired. i am tired of feeling every wire of emotion, every crack of my broken soul. how did i become this person—




…how the **** did i get here?
M May 2018
One dream love
I could never have
One puppy love
I once had
One great love
I once found
One perfect love
I could never replace

One true love
I have yet to know
I don't think I'll ever get to punch that last item in...
M May 2018
There's a note underneath your front door
That I wrote twenty years ago
Yellow paper and a faded picture
And a secret, in an envelope

There's no reasons
No excuses
There's no secondhand alibis
Just some black ink, on some blue lines
And a shadow, you won't recognize

And if it means I'll be waiting twenty years
And twenty more
I'll be praying for redemption
And your note, underneath my door
And your note underneath my door
To the man of my dreams,
It has been more than a decade and you probably have no idea that I have been waiting for you. Our paths may not cross but I will continue to wait even if it means that I have to wait until my next life. For now, I cannot really do anything but pray and hope that I am right. That you and I are meant for each other.
M May 2018
As I stand in this magical moment
Listening to the echos
of the early winter wind
And of the waves crashing
by the coast
I rest my thought
beneath the southern cross
If only Helios could stay above the horizon
and feast among the clouds
Won't you let me devour
this serenity so unfamiliar
But his chariot never stops
nor waits for a lowly commoner
So the war had once again begun
with lifeless warriors and edgeless swords
To conquer the land of dust
and empty treasures
M Apr 2018
I know everything about you
Lightest of light
Darkest of dark
I've seen the best of you
Catch a star and pin it just for you

I know everything about you
Happiest of hour
Loneliest of dawn
I've seen the worst of you
Cast a rainbow when your sky turn blue

I know everything about you
Order and chaos
Beauty and grim
I'm nothing but a marvelled spectator
Hoping, wanting, and yearning; desperately, endlessly.
M Apr 2018
Lumipas ang labindalawang taon
Nang tayo'y huling nag-kasama
Ako'y nilayuan, iniwasan
Dahil akala mo ay gusto kita

Ngunit kaibigan lamang
Ang pag tinigin sa isa't isa
Oo't ikaw ang huwaran
Sa bawat lalaking hinangaan

Hindi nasagi sa isip kailan man
Na ang tunay na mithi ay ikaw pala
Kaya't siguro nga, tama ka
Tama na ikaw ay lumayo at lumisan

Ako'y umibig sa isang tsinito
At ika'y nabighani ng haponesa
Nagkaroon ng sariling mundo
Mga kasintahan ang siyang naging pruweba

Mula elementarya at kolehiyo
Patuloy akong umasa at nag tanto
Kung ang ating mga destino
Ay muling magtatagpo

Sa loob ng labindalawang taon
Ikaw ay may mahal paring iba
Malapit man sa'kin, ika'y malayo parin
O giliw, hanggang pangarap na lang ba?
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