When I think about love
All I feel is pain
Man from yesterday
You took my heart away
Yet, I maunder out and about
A winding road called life
Man from yesterday
I've met you today
Or have I really?
Flashing a smile so different
Just like another circus trick
This cursed world of mine
Man from yesterday
I look down the hall
And there you are
A bus driver
A lecturer
A soldier
A friend
Why won't you leave me
Man from yesterday
When I think about love
All I feel is pain.

Paano na ba mag sulat?
Mga salitang nilimot na ang kahulugan
Binibilang ang mga pantig
At pilit dinudugsong-dugsong.
Nandiyan ka pa ba?
O pag-ibig na akyat panaog
Sa hagdan na walang tipan.
Mga panaginip na walang hantungan
At biglang mag wawakas.
Next time na lang. Inaantok na ako. Goodnight.

What has been going on in my life, you ask? A lot.
But, where do I begin?
Oh, here goes nothing—
I was at a high, ecstatic to the point of transcendence.
Your love was my opioid and you were my dealer.
I was addicted, flaming, and uncontrollably blown away.
Until it was the end.
Your leaving struck me like a lightning bolt.
Natural laws dictate that death will soon follow.
So, I lay in the midst of it all; lifeless and unmoving.
The descend of this roller coaster ride swallowed me whole.
To the craziest twists and turns, left me with no air at all.
They said nothing lasts forever.
Yet, it felt like there was no coming out of what seemed to be the most excruciating ride of my life.
For years it lasted.
For years I was lost.
For years death was my salvation.
I prayed. I prayed hard.
But I could not hear anything; I was shut deaf to the sound of hope.
Lifeless.
Lifeless...
Lifeless..
Lifeless.
Is all that was left in my head.
Jumping from one guy to the next trying to fit them in your shoe.
Nonetheless, I failed every single time and fall into the deep darkness when I hear your name.
Then I was done.
I am done dwelling on what could have been.
And, I am back from the dead.
No longer searching.
No longer needing.
No longer hurting.
It has been a roller coaster ride like no other.
You see, roller coasters do not stay on the descend for very long.
It may feel endless.
Ride on it nevertheless.
Hold on tight until you reach the sweet ascend of a lifetime.

do you ever feel like you want to rip your heart out of your chest? the feeling of clawing your way through your skin, your muscle, your sternum. how satisfying that must be to silence out the pain you are feeling inside.
do you ever feel like jumping out the train whenever it travels along the coast? the feeling of washing yourself clean of all the sadness that wraps your skin. how liberating that must be to swim breathlessly away from you.
there is so much more i have yet to say. but i am tired. i am tired of feeling every wire of emotion, every crack of my broken soul. how did i become this person—




…how the **** did i get here?

One dream love
I could never have
One puppy love
I once had
One great love
I once found
One perfect love
I could never replace

One true love
I have yet to know

There's a note underneath your front door
That I wrote twenty years ago
Yellow paper and a faded picture
And a secret, in an envelope

There's no reasons
No excuses
There's no secondhand alibis
Just some black ink, on some blue lines
And a shadow, you won't recognize

And if it means I'll be waiting twenty years
And twenty more
I'll be praying for redemption
And your note, underneath my door
And your note underneath my door

As I stand in this magical moment
Listening to the echos
of the early winter wind
And of the waves crashing
by the coast
I rest my thought
beneath the southern cross
If only Helios could stay above the horizon
and feast among the clouds
Won't you let me devour
this serenity so unfamiliar
But his chariot never stops
nor waits for a lowly commoner
So the war had once again begun
with lifeless warriors and edgeless swords
To conquer the land of dust
and empty treasures