Grasping vagrancy in one's child
Most simplistic act is not
Fractured maternal heart bleeds wild
Suffered soul the abyss caught
Crucible ever prevails fraught

Futile remedy ailment breeds
Posturing all heedless things
Neglecting primal earthly needs
Harsh inebriant trappings
Averse entirely lucid pleads

Clamping malady straining chest
Wakeful blackness vanished days
Clutched slight suckling babe at my breast
Cast tears enduring malaise
Reflection of having caressed

Tragic sustinence chosen vile
Sighted resolves not to see
Relentless self imposed exile
Indifferent to love me
Offer life to capture a smile

Grasping vagrancy in one's child
Cognizant of special spot
An alternative to beguiled
Alter processes of thought
I am needing to know she fought

The excitement builds before the show
Appearance anticipated, let's go
Out comes 2llen with applause galore
Crowd won't quiet, stoked for what's in store

Must say Ellen is such a **** dude
Whoops, oh...she's a she, I'm extremely rude
Ellen dresses with such casual care
Not a piece out of line, her fancy hair

Ellen completely involves her crowd
The silly shenanigans make them loud
She dances to the music everywhere
Famous for her moves, she then heads for the chair

She straddles the table with practiced skill for her advanced age and without a pill
She moves on to a famous brilliant guest
Uncommon talent to bring out their best

Music for the show picked eloquently
Ellen and staff almost always agree
The gifts she gives, the audience adore
Generosity leaves them wanting more

Cute that her mom's at every taping
Even stays awake and keeps from gaping
Ellen is actually my favorite host
Please forgive me, this little roast

If  you're in the mood for a real good time
Tune to Ellen at three, on channel nine
You won't be disappointed, far from IT!
It's world wide known that Ellen's the "****"

Watching TV, out of the corner of my eye
From under the table a huge spider I did spy
I looked at him and he stared directly back at me
My heart beat fast, coming towards me I could see

I really screeched and quickly jumped off of the chair
He was gaining fast, his legs spiked with hair
The horror I felt as I started now to run
I zig-zagged, he zig -zagged...increasingly not fun

I circled down the hall, he turned the corner too
Screaming as I dashed, I looked back and swear he grew
Hid myself by the fridge my heart now in my throat
Cried for my dad, he got up, put down the remote

Pop wondered what the fuss was, came to my rescue
I had held my breath 'til I started turning blue
When the spider saw my daddy he stopped and froze
Arachnid looked him up and down, knows how it goes

Spidy seemed confused, settled to run for the door
My dad, his big boots, bravely squished him on the floor
Mommy came into the kitchen, her eyes opened wide
Calmed my nerves, cleaned the mess, gross I must confide

When my anxiety is extreme I feel
That nothing around or inside me is real
I need to hide myself, to isolate
Feeling of dread and doom, can't seem to think straight

I curse myself for feeling this ****** up way
Live in unreality like a dream, or play
Fingers don't work, have a quiver of my lip
Nervous smile, not wanting this unchosen
script

Don't know what to do...sit, stand, pace or run
Don't want to be looked at, talked to by anyone
Sane, daily things take extra concentration
I try to do them with no coordination

Deprived of social skills, get tongue tied, can't speak
Building discomfort, terror panic will peak
Then it begins- palms sweat, heart rate rises
Worry about all, nothing, no surprises

No longer capable of eating, I'd choke
Get nauseous, the runs, to my body no joke In acute cases toes stiffen, my bones ache
Losing much control, damaged brain waves fake

Avoid going out to a bank or a store
Anywhere there's cameras, prying some more
Always makes me feel like I'm doing wrong
Paranoia, bottom line..I don't belong

On a Lilly pad a frog sat alone
He jumped in the water, a splash he'd known
Frog swam and swam until he met his pal
On another Lilly pad sat crazy Hal

Hal had ideas, the frog wasn't sure
His plans were not always completely pure
Frog followed Hal thru the grassy quagmire
They'd gone fairly far, Frog began to tire

It started to sprinkle very large drops
The two hid in the marsh with a few hops
Hal whispered his plan in Frogs little ear
To Scare Miss Lady it became very clear


Miss Lady was such a beautiful gal
She really liked Frog, but not ornery Hal
She, always waiting for some sneaky prank
Tired of their shenanigans to be quite frank

Miss Lady was planning to turn the table
Prank those two, she was perfectly able
She sat up her scheme in the mossy bog
When here came that Hal, followed by Frog
Miss lady was on her favorite pad
She couldn't help but be a little mad
Miss Lady cried out, she needed a hand
She led them just inches from the quicksand

This little prank could have been quite a mess
Miss Lady scared them she had to confess
They quickly backed up in total surprise
The three agreed to end pranks and eat some flies

Going to at last quit smoking
Just talked to the long winded Quitline
I'm tired of hacking and choking
Birthday, December third deadline

Going to use the well known patch
I was successful once before
No frustration searching for match
Or missing lighter anymore

Hairdo won't be smelly, clothes stink
My mouth tasting like an ashtray
It should be easier I think
Cause I truly want it this way

Shocked, first time was simple for me
It lasted for over a year
Relapsed as you can plainly see
I'll do it again, will adhere

Apparent wrinkles will thank me
Blackened, struggling lungs will too
Patches are delivered for free
Like ads, I don't want to be blue

Added cost of smoking is steep
Now almost six dollars a pack
My jeans empty pockets run deep
I'll save money, quite a stack

There are certain times I'll miss it
After ***, with morning coffee
Plus, I will be healthier, ****
Try it, it's completely free

(1-800-784-8669)

There was an ole lady and an ole man
Each sippin coffee from a can
The two sat in their rockin chair
Breathin in the fresh mornin air

They both had a full day ahead
She started the yeast for some bread
His suspenders hiked up his pants
Wandered out to gaze at his plants

She deftly swept the dirt floor clean
He announced, she always looked mean
The ole lady sat to churn the butter
Ole man pretended to fix the shutter

Hardy ole gal got to smokin the pig
He drove to town in his ancient rig
While she hung the laundered sheets on the line
He pulled up to his still, it was runnin fine

It was time for her to rustle up some grub
Tipsy ole guy gave his neck a good rub
She fried them up some hogback and beans
He sat the table, perfect by no means

At last they sat down to commence to chew Forgot their choppers like they sometimes do
After they dined on their scrumptious fare
They headed back to the rockin chair

The pair soaked their dogs in a separate pan
The little ole lady and the shrunken ole man
Couldn't think of a better end to a day
Than to rock, smoke and soak their cares away