**** me
ill go willingly
your smile is so lovely and suddenly you're stabbing me
allowing you to ****** me, and its alright that you're hurting me
It's the end of life and I can feel your knife
screams in the night and you can feel my fright
lips pressed to your hallow chest , you promised you'd love me best
its getting darker and blood drips like water
I can hear you cry, baby don't die
slowly filling with regret and my last breath you can never forget

I was in love with the night.
The moon and the stars
made darkness bright.
I cannot escape
my thoughts clouding
my foggy mental state

Because of you, I hate the night.
You should have been named insomnia;
the disease that ruined my life.

Spark the neurons in my brain
and they travel down my spinal cord
until they pierce my heart and I
bleed
bleed
bleed
while you
drink
drink
drink
until you are red with wine.

Renewed by every part of my soul
you prowl around stalking new prey.
When we touched, I would forget
which limb was mine
and which was yours
and as I looked at the big picture
you could only see mismatched puzzle pieces
and now I have suffocated.  
He doesn't know that when he breathes,
he breathes life into me.

I have been extinguished.

Why am I so angry?......
What the **** do you think your doing?!
Take your eyes off of your phone for two seconds and take a look around you... Take your focus off the church for one minute and look at the people around you....
Your gaining all the wrong people and pushing away the ones that have always been for you....
I guess that's why I'm so angry..
I got a txt from you today:
"I really do care about your life grace.  Just Don't leave me in the dust" - Dad
Don't leave me in the dust????
ARE YOU ******* KIDDING ME?!?!
Yeah sure your one to talk dad....
"I don't just push people away for no reason"- Grace
Your a ******* joke.
C'mon dad werent you the one that taught me to be there for eachother??
I'm so tired of being the only one that's there for somebody in this relationship...
Going to all your shows, even your practices ... ****
You can't even come to one ******* SHOW!!! You never came to one swim meet..
Not one dance recital...
Not one talent show....
Not one...
Then you have the nerve to tell me not to leave you in the dust???!!!!!
I can't even believe you...
You were there before but now your given up before you even have the chance to try....
No dad you left me in the dust along time ago... And I was the ONE person that stood there with you through it all!!! I was there when everyone turned against you... I agreed with you when everyone else found reasons to disagree...
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE LIKE YOU, DAD!!!!
....but now?
******* I'm not so sure......
I always stood next to you...
No matter how much you never came through...
But now?
I'm so gone.

Every cigarette,
Every addictive inhale
Of warmth
And nicotine,
Keeps me farther
Away from you
And father
Away from myself
So-
“Can I have another cigarette?”-
And my friends laugh at me
Knowing that
I notoriously
Don't smoke
But I'm handed one
Anyway

I have come to the temple
Of your body.  I kneel and prey
Like a sinner.  The holy water
Beads low on your forbidden
Tabernacle, sears my touch
In cleansing flame, what I do
And what will be done is all
For unrepentant confessions
And penances.  Let me truly
Learn the sacraments of flesh
Before I bathe in your wicked
Innocence and commit my sin
At being mortal in your nimbus
Chambers, let the mercies rain
After the fall of my fellowing
Creature, for this night is blood
Sabbath, and sacrilege under
A Pagan moon and let the dawn
In the rising sun of mute morning
Be my absolution, our benediction,
Let the moving waters enfold us,
Pure as lambs, as washed babes,
Baptismal.