Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Ben DuBois Feb 2012
I’m locked in this prison cell
As a victim of my own mind,
A prisoner to my own thoughts,
And stricken by my own past.

All I can do is sit here
And watch the world unfold around me
From this prison cell of my own mind.

It always kills me to think of
All I’ve done
All I haven’t done
…All I’ve done

I like to think I’m not like the stereotypical guys
But maybe I’m one of them too.
Victim to my own ***
A prisoner to the stereotypes…
Stricken by testosterone habits.

I wish I hadn’t done
The things that I’ve done
But the past has already passed
With no way of fixing.

So instead I’m stuck here,
In this prison cell I call a brain
As a victim of my own mind,
A prisoner to my own thoughts
Stricken by my own past

**January 30, 2012
The 11th of 12 poems about my relationship frustrations. If you've read any of the other poems previous to this one then this poem is pretty self explanatory. If not, this one is just about how my past constantly comes back to haunt me.
Ben DuBois Feb 2012
**** me now
And bury me in the bottom,
Of an erupting volcano.
The eruption would spread my ashes everywhere
Great for me, I don’t deserve proper burial.

How much worse can things get
Before they improve?

I’ve been awful
I’ve been stupid
and frankly,
I’ve just been an ******* to you.
How much worse can things get
Before they improve?

I don’t deserve proper burial
Since I can’t prove myself to you
What is there left?
I’ve been nothing but awful
I’ve been nothing but stupid
and I’ve been nothing but an *******
To my love… MY LOVE for god sakes


All I want is you
But all I deserve is scorn,
And my ashes spread across the land
I don’t deserve a proper burial…

**January 16, 2012
The 10th of 12 poems about my relationship frustrations. This one is by far my most angry and just portrays my complete and utter frustration with my own self over my past actions.
Ben DuBois Feb 2012
Oh my
How can I
Go on like this?
Maybe you ARE like,
Like all the other girls…
Jealous of everything
And angry about our past fights.
I am glad you’re happier now, dear.
Compromising you for me, like I’ve done,
That is what a real man does for his girl, right?
Well, why doesn’t this feel right to me, like it should?
I should just be happy that you are happy
So why am I second guessing myself?
I am showing you how much you mean,
And proving how special you are.
So why doesn’t this feel right?
Didn’t I do what’s right?
How much will it cost
In the long run?
This is for
You not

**January 14, 2012
The 9th of 12 poems about my relationship frustrations. I wanted to experiment a little bit so I wrote this pyramid poem until it got to 12 syllables.
Ben DuBois Feb 2012
It’s my fault
And I finally gave in
To your demands
Hopefully I won’t be too lonely…

Can I even last
Without my friends
For you?
Is it worth it?
I mean I only have a few real friends
Hopefully I won’t be too lonely…

But if I want to fix things
It must be done
Hopefully I won’t be too lonely…
Hopefully I don’t go more insane…

**January 14, 2012
The 8th of 12 poems about my relationship frustrations. There's a long, confusing story behind this poem that I won't get into.
Ben DuBois Feb 2012
It's such an unusual thing.
Bringing people together,
Bringing back memories,
and bringing out tears.

What a funny feeling it gives.
To those closest,
To those furthest,
and those in between.

We all have to face it someday.
Nobody can say,
When you will,
When I will.

It makes you think of all you've done.
To those of past,
Those of present,
and not yet affected.

How does it influence your life?

**January 4, 2012
I wrote this after thinking about a girl from way back in middle school that died about a year ago. I realized that I was kind of a **** to her way back then, it really made me sad to think about because what it made me wonder if I somehow affected her life negatively (she didn't commit suicide so don't get that idea). This one immediately became one of my favorites that I've written.
Ben DuBois Feb 2012
Happy, knowing I'm here
Dreading, when I am not.
In your arms
Is my version of home
Away from you
Just never feels right.

What will I do when I go back?
What will happen when I go back?
I can't shut myself out anymore
I don't want ongoing fights...
Can we last any longer,
In our torn and tattered state?
or will this be it...?

All we can do,
Is take it one day at a time...
...I guess...

You were right
You were always right.
I can't change
Not even for you
Not even for the one that means the most

So here I am... left with this
This torn and tattered state.
I'm happy knowing I'm here
But what will happen when I'm not?

...I guess only time will tell

**January 4, 2012
I wrote this one while I was home for Winter Break, dreading leaving my girlfriend again in a few weeks because it's the best thing in the world to be with her.
Ben DuBois Feb 2012
Pulling hair out
Bawling eyes
Nothing is right
Frustration consumes my life
Do I even want to stick it out?
There’s too much happening
All at once
All at once
Too much to handle
It really depresses me
Just thinking about it…

**December 20, 2011
7th of 12 poems about my relationship frustrations. I initially had wanted this to be longer, but at the time I was quite emotional and couldn't bear to write more. Then I decided this was enough and called it incompletion despite the fact it is in fact complete in my eyes.
Next page