I want to watch you
But it's hard when I can't
Think
Think
Think straight
Stop changing the channels in my head with your magic remote
It's this then that
What do you want
Where do you want me to look
My eyes cross until I focus
That book
Your hand on my cheek
The bug on your wall
Tiny chips in the laminate floor
Come back
Come back to me
Give me my mind back
I need drugs to stay on task
I don't want to be defined by my attention span
Look over here, kiddo
Attention please, baby
I'm no kid
I am grown
Grown up, why does this happen to me
I should sit through meetings
I can't sit still
Sit with me
Drugs don't help, I don't want them
I can't focus on which is which
Those are for kids, I'm grown
I don't need drugs to stay on task
I need drugs to stay on task
Look here
Over there
Up at me
To you
Vying for my attention
Every last object on my desk
Every pair of eyes in the room
I need drugs to stay on task

There is nothing more comforting than warmth
Rays of sun painting my cheeks red
Blistering campfires that tickle my toes
My own blood trickling down my arm
As I looked into the bathroom mirror I felt nothing but
Warmth
Toxic words that had been spat at me disappeared down the sink
A blurry fist fight faded to memory
My black eye and bleeding nose ceased to pain me
All I felt was the red blanket coating my arm
It doesn't hurt
I feel nothing
Silver pens write terrible tragedies in red ink
But they also write happier endings for troubled minds
I am my own demise
My destruction
There is no conductor and my train is off the rails
Spinning, racing out of control
And stopping at a red light
Red lights that pool into one in my palm
Translucent, reflecting the light above me
I see red
I feel warm
I taste fate
She can't hurt me as long as I am warm

I will leave this world with no blood on my hands but my own.

You're the only person I want to be around when I'm upset.
I need you.
I love you.
You mean the world to me.
You're beautiful.
It kills me to see you hurt yourself.
I wouldn't be alive without you.
You saved my life.
You make me so happy.
You will always be relevant.
Thank you.
I miss you.
Don't leave, stay with me.
I wanted to see you.
You always know what to say.
Hold me.
I need to talk to you.
I'm so sorry.
Come live with me.

And all of that means nothing because of one simple sentence:
"I will never know what to do about the way you love me. I can't."

You told me you never want to die
You'd spent long nights and long days wishing you could
Now you want to live forever
No drug, no plant, no magic nor miracle can offer what you seek
I can
I'll write poems that are miles long about each step you take
I'll record every breath in novels
And every time you look at the sky I'll take note
No one on Earth will forget your name
No child will live without hearing your voice
No man will die without swimming in the color of your eyes
No woman will survive longer than you
You will live forever in the stories I write
You will live forever in the waves
In the air
In the stars
In the sun
In my heart
And the hearts of all who will ever exist

if i write you a poem while i m drunk will you
still love
me in the
morning
would yuo take me
two breakfast or for coffee
wood you kiss me befroe i leave
and miss me while i am gonw
can you look at me liek
i am yur sun and moon and sea
love me becuase i wrote
you a poem while i was
drunk
i am
drunk

There's no doubt that purity can be found in a shower

Everyone that has wronged you never existed

Every sin you committed turns to steam and floats to the ceiling

That's where they stay

All our sins

I think best in the shower

It has something to do with all my sins

Because my ceiling is black

I use "being a writer" as an excuse

to drink alone

far too often.