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Bella Feb 2014
Quit smoking
I want you to be in my life
My whole life
Let me be your oral fixation
I'll drift like smoke from your lips
I can warm your insides
And I don't leave ashes
My love doesn't end at the filter
Quit smoking
Don't leave me
Be here
Forever
Bella Feb 2014
The love of my life doesn't have messy blonde hair
or strong arms and blue eyes.
The love of my life doesn't speak my language
or sleep in my bed at night.
The love of my life can't come to dinner at my parent's house
or kiss my lips before he goes to work.
The love of my life will never leave
or dry up
or lie to me
or cheat.
In fact, the love of my life doesn't belong to me.
He is as wide as the Earth and blue as the sky.
He is older than the trees and stronger than fire.
He kisses my toes on the sand and cleanses my sins.
He is everlasting.
He is life-giving and selfless.
The love of my life is God's greatest masterpiece
and every artist's dream.
The love of my life does not judge or condemn.
The love of my life is beauty beyond compare.
Reflecting the sun and the stars and the moon.

The love of my life is the
Sea.
Bella Feb 2014
I crushed him out in cigarette butts
Distinguished his flames in my cup of coffee
Watched the smoke of his words disappear in the air
I threw out his pillows and toothbrush
Even the sock I found in my twisted sheets from the night before
I don't see him at the bottom of bottles
But I keep looking
Maybe the next one
Or the next one
Maybe in the hospital
He's not here either
But I loved him so
I love him more now that he's gone
Bella Feb 2014
Looking at her is like watching a mountain fall to the ground.
It crashes and leaves a cloud of chaos and destruction.
But as the dust settles you see something.
There was a prettier mountain behind this one.
She shattered all ideas I had about love.
She tore into my life like a ******* bulldozer.
But she left behind an even more lovely reality.
I don’t live in the dark anymore.
Love hurts; I used to think it was all wonderful.
Love is much better now.
It is flawed and corrupted by lies and shortcomings but it is no less beautiful.
I see it now.
Amidst the debris of falling mountains,
I found a love to end all others.
Bella Jan 2014
I want a love that is beautiful. I don’t want to sit up at night crying into my pillow or smoking cigarettes on my balcony. I want the air I breathe to smell like tulips and every step I take to feel effortless. I want a love that doesn’t weigh on my mind; it should be easy. I want it be like blinking; I don’t have to learn, it just happens. I want to love and be loved like no one ever has and no one ever will again. I want his name tattooed beneath my skin and his words coursing through my veins. I want to look out onto the ocean and see nothing but the color of his eyes and when waves crash on the shore they will laugh just like him. And I won’t have to be searching anymore because I have found just what I needed to fill me up. I will be complete.
Bella Jan 2014
Why can't laughter be as poetic as sadness?
Bella Jan 2014
My mother told me to surround myself with good people

People who bring out the best in me

But what if I don't have a best side

What if I'm just a bad person

Who should I surround myself with then

I think they all agreed I should surround myself with empty space
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