Listen here ive been ivan c for 16 years
I have a few fears like dying and going to hell
So listen to what i tell you the devil is in the air
While you live life without a care
I'm here with family & friends
When the end comes im ready
Im just living life steady
Take apart my heart and ive won from the start

You're the only person i talk to
Youre funny , that smile is wild
I like your style
I just can't Stop talking to you
It's true I got a thing for you
Whatever you do I hope it's. For the best
I mean I really hope it's for the best
Be about your word girl be kind
You're already fine but there's a line between good and bad
I'll be sad someday because. I have doubts
But I'll shout I need you
Till you see
You
And I
Can be free

It's getting harder to live
I got so much to give
To the girl of my dreams
But that's the girl of my dreams
It seems I'm on the edge of a drop
I just wish that i can Just stop
I'm close to having one of my blood vessels pop
Over thinking and thinking
My obsession will never lead to smoking or drinking
So I'm going to stay alone

Im not trying to be the same as him or her
Im just a tiny raimdrop in a million others
Oh brother the earth is alot
So why is it i cannot become something bigger
Maybe its not what i want
Sure i want happiness and luaghter
But i wouldn't want that all to my self
I want good health and wealth
But not all to myself i want you and you and you
To be happy with me , a big family
With our ups and downs keep everything is cool
And like a school we'll learn we can let thaat fire burn
Take turns to teach love and peace
Keep the light shining in the dark
Take part in something big just make a step
And love everybody

Its 12:05 and I'm not really feeling alive
I dive into situations understanding possible outcomes
But how come i can't have the things i want the way i want
Or maybe i can't have the things that downgrade me
I cant forget ive been saved
Lately you all have been forgetting about me

let me give you a kiss
I can't  miss a day with you
us two equals something  true

let me give you a kiss
hey miss your beauty  is outstanding
I want  to love  you please no misunderstanding

As i grow older my heart does not get colder or weaker
I make sure i have time to just think
My mind is not filled with ***** dishes like a sink but it's not clean
I mean i make mistakes but i do not fake what i feel
When im beside the girl i like it feels like my heart heals
From the pain and loneliness left from past flames
I dont like playing games or mental gymnastics
So when im with you i do not doubt you i run diagnostics

I get so mad i start bleeding out my nose
This is the life that i chose
I oppose a threat to these demons
The past is the past
Let me be the last to say i should have changed
They say im deranged and strange
Living life with these thoughts am i alone ?
I want to go home but i don't have one

I prefer to feel every emotion
Sad happy mad and more
Im not sure when death will come knocking on my front door
My heart drops to the floor everytime i think of love
Too the girl i want to hug i feel i always bug
A tug of war with pride and my own life
Am i winning ?
WHy do my thoughts keep spinning

The next 4 hours of my life are the most tiring
It's inspiring me to get a better job
I enjoy my days off with a little corn on the cob
People say it's easy but they don't even know
I'm wondering why time goes so slooowwww

You girl are an exotic flower
Your beauty posses mystical power
I want to hold you in my arms and never let go
Let me know youll never change
No matter the range of the weathers
Wether its with me or someone else
I pray you stay in good health
Dont let no one hold you to tight and wound you
Youll make it to see a sunny day and vroom through

I spray paint on the wall
Write on bathrom stalls
Its alot of trouble for a teen
But everywhere i go im a star of the scene  never get much attention dealing with a school suspension tension and stressing having a heart is a blessing seeing my art to