What im trying to have is something special girl
Lets make an empire own the world
Im inspired by that fire in your eyes
You got potential and you're my essential to live
You don't worry about What i got to give
I got plenty of warm hugs and kisses
But my plan is for you & i to be together happy

Listen here ive been ivan c for 16 years
I have a few fears like dying and going to hell
So listen to what i tell you the devil is in the air
While you live life without a care
I'm here with family & friends
When the end comes im ready
Im just living life steady
Take apart my heart and ive won from the start

I'm depressed and stressed
I've been through a lot
I've been through hell
it feels very hot
I'm not okay I'm not fine
I don't want to live  another day
I I I I'm so ******* self centered
hope I sleep and never wake up

Im drowning in my own tears
One of.my fears is coming true
Im alone im alone
I wish death was.closer
Im wasting my breathe
I feel Defeat i cant sleep
This **** is deep stressed and depressed thats my life
Loneliness just make that my wife

long nights with my dreams alone
I got that voice in my head saying its alright
Why do i treat everybody with love when i get none bacK
Thats dumb i need to stop
Prop my own back up because im tough
Life is rough and i crave a touch
But theres no.such thing

It's sad when you give everything away for people to smile
While you're dying people are spying thinking you're crazy
Baby when i die dont bury me I'm going to die in the west
I thinks it's only best that i dissapear
People fear What they don't understand and.thats me

All this arguing choosing sides ?
Reasons a child would do suicide
There are answers but your ignorance is cancer
Take action , but no there's no reaction in your thick skull
The reason of your argument is bold in your mind
The real reason to me is dull
You shout I'm tired of his bull
you'll leave today is what you say
But you say that every other day
Im stuck in the middle the fault of the trouble
I love you mom and dad stop

Went from painting walls and anything
To me wanting to change the world
I have open mind so i dont judge crime
Went from always being alone now im trying to find the right one
Went from trying to write poems now i wanr that microphone

I prefer to feel every emotion
Sad happy mad and more
Im not sure when death will come knocking on my front door
My heart drops to the floor everytime i think of love
Too the girl i want to hug i feel i always bug
A tug of war with pride and my own life
Am i winning ?
WHy do my thoughts keep spinning

The next 4 hours of my life are the most tiring
It's inspiring me to get a better job
I enjoy my days off with a little corn on the cob
People say it's easy but they don't even know
I'm wondering why time goes so slooowwww

You girl are an exotic flower
Your beauty posses mystical power
I want to hold you in my arms and never let go
Let me know youll never change
No matter the range of the weathers
Wether its with me or someone else
I pray you stay in good health
Dont let no one hold you to tight and wound you
Youll make it to see a sunny day and vroom through

I spray paint on the wall
Write on bathrom stalls
Its alot of trouble for a teen
But everywhere i go im a star of the scene  never get much attention dealing with a school suspension tension and stressing having a heart is a blessing seeing my art to