Love...

Left abandoned
Moored on a deserted island.
Lost in the white noise of life,
Where even angels fear to tread.
Unseen, unfathomed
Beyond the horizon of endlessness
I love you...
No, you don't
You love you
Consonants, and syllables
Tossed together in a salad bowl
For selfish gain and greed.

Over the edge,
Flung like a ******* through the air
Catapulted into emotional desolation
Me.
Done.
Broken.
... over socks, you ask?
Yes... the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I am stronger than you think
I'm the melody behind the perfect lyrics
I am a woman
A force to be reckoned with
You attempt to break me down
But like Stonehenge, I stand
Through storms and wars
Mysterious and powerful
And like stars scattered in the heavens
My light will never fade
Memories of me will remain
Long after I'm gone
Because I am a woman
To my dying day ... and beyond.

Who knows what will happen next
The sun may fade
The stars may fall
When yesterday is nothing
But a memory caught
In a time capsule
Of Facebook

So fragile
so small
tiny hands
perfect fingers
and tippie toes
thrown into a world
where lies freely fall
If I could
I would keep you
safe from rage
broken lies
inevitable pain
Safe in my arms
Wrapped in my heart
Forever
....my sweet little Alissa

I'm the small boat
In an ocean of pain
Tossed about
Discarded
The fight lost
At my souls cost
Shipwrecked
Dead

Doom and Gloom
It surrounds me
Like a vortex pulling me in
Nothing I do
and nothing I say
will make it go away
I'm drowning slowly
In indifference
My life ebbing away
I have so little left to say
Oh I cry, I scream
But there's no-one who really listens
So I grow silent
Dormant
Until I'm left out cold
Depleted

I read a poem from Stephan
It made no sense to me
All those coriographed lines
To the untrained eye unseen
Lies a secret or two
That may contain the key
To his so called happiness
In our own lives lost at sea

So tell me Stephan...
What is it with all this love?
What about some animosity!

If I fly today,
I might die today,
If I die today,
You might cry today,
If you cry today,
You might lay today
In a lonely bed
Filled with regret

So instead
I won't fly today
So I won't die today
then you wont' cry today
and I will lie today
because everything is
As it should be

I never really loved you
Because you never really cared
All it was in the end
Was an infstuation
That left me alone and scared
I gave it my all
Until my soul was left bare
A barren ground for weeds to sprout
Were anger and pain
Gave the loudest shout
I never really loved you
Because you never really cared.

Hatred
It's the next best thing to love
And the only emotion
I will entertain

Hatred
It's the next best thing to love
And the only emotion
I will entertain

You push and pull
I scream and curse
It's a deadly pill
Filled with remorse

We try harder
But fail more
Run further
Keeping a score

You win this time
I win the next
I lose what is mine
And become more vexed

It's time to let go
There's nothing left
Another senseless row
Love, dead and bereft

The city is like a wicked temptation
At day a concrete jungle
Cold and made of stone and aspalt
At night it transforms
And mimics the night sky
With stars sparkling bright
What a magnificent sight
But then the sun rises
And it's nothing but cold stone
Again

When all that is left
Are pieces of me
Scattered across the vast expanse
Of the life I used to live
And only mere fingerprints
Are left as brief reminders
Of the lives I did once touch
Then that will be all that is needed
To keep my memory alive
And to all of you I never knew
C'est La vie

I tried to write a happy poem
But nothing came to mind
Then I tried to write
A happy song
But all the notes were wrong
I tried to smile
I tried to laugh
Accomplish a higher state of grace
But all I saw
Were tears of sorrow
streaming down my face.

Emptiness
The invisible force
That suffocates
Bringing forth
Relentless hate
Despite the hope
That once shone bright
Now there's nothing left
But the darkest night

She finally broke
As she slumped to the ground
Head hung low
With not a soul to be found

Years and years of work and toil
To keep what was hers
To nurture her home
Now nothing but glowing embers

No tears to be cried
No battles to be won
The moon has risen
A total eclipse of the sun

Why can I not stop the tears
When everything inside me
Feels like it's being ripped apart
Shrapnel of a broken promise
Leaves shards of infestation everywhere
I just wish...  I could stop the tears
I just wish I could stop feeling anything
Oh God rip out my heart and feed it to the dogs.

All the morbid sad poems
Are like little wicked gnomes
Gnawing at my ankles
Beckoning my downfall

Their little beady eyes
Glare hungrily at me
But who am I to stop them
When I can hardly flee

Maybe I should swing a left
Try a new approach
Kick the buggers in their teeth
And go out on a shopping spree

I'm inspired by my pain
Intoxicated by my sorrows
The only thing that keeps me
From landing in the burrow
Is the inspiration
From all that seems in vain

Welcome to my crypt
Where dreams dormant lie
Covered in cobwebs
and gathering dust
Calcified veins
Once abundant with blood
Now a coniferous wood
Petrified

Is this really what you want?
A legacy you built
Thrown to the wolves
Torn to pieces
And scattered across the landscape
Pieces of us, strewn everywhere
Missing for eternity
In the vast expanse
Forever lost

For better of for worse
A silently spoken curse
For Richer or for Poorer
A self inflicted horror
Until death us do part
Through a broken heart

Numbing your mind
Is a temporary resolve
For a nagging conscience

When you know
It's not your composition
But a sad love song

In a minor-key
Dramatized music
That floods the soul

Until the walls break
And dry tears turn
Into a flash flood

Exasperating the ache
Exposing the wound
Ripping it open

Numbness resolved
Love evolved
But in the end....

Meaningless, if not returned

There was a time
When animosity throttled me
Draining my life force
Slowly but Surely

But that time has passed
I've grown stronger
Or have I just grown
subtly ignorant

Where did my emotions go
Why can't I feel the pain
Without it I'm nothing
With it I'm something

If we are not worth fighting for
Then why bother
If there's nothing left to say
Why do we pray

Pain and Love
Goes hand in hand
Like Night and Day
A seasonal display

What is the night
Without a bright day
Nothing but Darkness
a Chaotic disarray

Is it the truth we live
Or is it a lie within
What is in a smile
If the eyes are bleak
Cloaked in the pain
We try to fight in vain
Endless endeavors
To be what is expected
An vicious circle
Never ending.

My soul is bereft
Stuck in desolation
In a colorless world
I sit and wait for the end
Silent songs mourn my death
My spirit buried
Beneath the canopy of trees
Blocking out the sunlight
I once yearned for
A deafening silence
Stifles the beat of my heart
Once so proudly shrouded
In joy and laughter
Now nothing but a rock
Cold and hard

It's the beauty of rain
That washes away my pain
As it showers down
My heartache drowns
Quitening the anger
That causes havoc in my soul
My emotions comatosed
I feel no more

What is it with these humans
punching my keys like there's no tomorrow
Feeding me with their own greedy needs
and filling my mind with senseless pleads.

Are those crumbs?
Are you going to pick them up?
Or are you going to leave them to grow
And create penicillin for better days to come?

In the corner of my room
I see her standing there
Not a single breath
Or a single sound
But she simply stares
Down at the ground
A lot to say
Afraid to pray
A lonely mind
With so much to say

My alter ego

Don't you ******* touch me
Don't you even dare
This body is mine and mine alone
And it's the one thing I won't share

**** the vows and promises
Said before man and God
You should have thought about it
Before you broke my heart

Don't you ******* touch me
Dont you even dare
My heart left ruined and broken
There's nothing left to spare

**** the good times and the  bad
It's nothing but a memory
Of things that never should have mattered
And never should have been.

Don't you ******* touch me
Don't you even dare
Cause next time I'll break your arm
I sincerely ******* swear.

We spin around in circles
Like a merry-go-round on steroids
Chasing empty dreams
Unraveling at the seems
We've tried so many times
To forgive each others crimes
but nothing ever changes
It just gets rearranged
Why do we waste our time
When its clearly our own pride
That keeps us hunting ghosts
But there's really nothing more
Than empty dreams and promises
An ending with no means.

Like raindrop kisses
My tears fall down
Reflecting on the pain
That broke the crown

Words said in haste
Where love once prevailed
Now desolate and empty
Two souls derailed

If I could go back in time
I would try over again
Until all the hurt and pain
Is nothing but a faded stain

I would crucify myself
Again and again
To show you the love
that still remains

I never meant to hurt you
or cause you such pain
I hope you can forgive me
And that we can try again

Through all the fights
and unshed tears
It is still you
I want to draw near

Let me hold you
And kiss away your tears
Catch every last drop
and soothe away your fears

In the end
It's you and me
Our eternal love
For all to see

In the darkness,
Through the forest she runs,
She searches for asylum.
Images of times gone by
Haunts her every dream.
Helplessly, she runs forth
Fleeing from the shadows
Anxiously, dreadfully crying
For a vigor to help her through

Her soul grows weak
As she stumbles
Through the land of the unknown.
Hoping, praying, searching,
Her spirit to atone
Far from all sanity she rests
But for a while
As the darkness and shadows
Envelope her
In depression she deeper falls

Her complexion fades
As her breath become shallow
Effortlessly she tries to reach out
Only again to let go
Once a proud and loving soul
Now motionless and alone
No faith in what once was
No trust in what could be
The battle's lost, she counted her costs
Forever a nomad she will be.

Uncertainty Hangs overhead
Like a cloud of fog rolling ahead
Distorting views and opinions
Pushing them into oblivion
Until all that's left is emptiness
And all that's seen is heartbreak

This Tug of War
An emotional storm
We scream and fight
Slamming doors
Cry and accuse
Throwing out clothes
Opinions forced down
In a whirlpool of abuse
We hack at each other
Around every turn
Throwing our love
in a furnace to burn
till there's nothing left
but smoke and ashes

Muted words
Hushed tones
Downplayed emotions
Hurt like stones
Bottled up tears
Unspoken fears
Nothing but regret
A constant threat
'till all that is left
is a soul bereft

Letting go
  of the pain you sowed
    Is the hardest part
       for my failing heart

A breathless whisper
   A subtle lie
      An innocent love
         Is left to die

But let go I must
    My heart I need to trust
       Its the only way
          I will be okay

I suffocate my voice
Slit the wrists of my words
Anxious to be spoken
All for the sake of peace

Through the silence
Words unspoken
Deafening defiance
Happiness stolen

Leaving my soul empty
Desolate, deserted
Shipwrecked at sea
My soul departed

All for the sake of peace
I let you hold the key
And ruined this masterpiece
That no one will ever see

you
me
perfectly matched
separated
extricated
skillfully patched
love
hate
Animosity hatched

You came like a thief in the night
Stole her virtue, ignored her plight
Took what wasn't yours to take
Leaving her world shattered by a violent quake

You're filthy hands so freely took
As inwardly she violently shook
Trying to ignore the pain
But it was all in vain

Her innocence forever lost
Her childlike heart turned to frost
Never to feel joy and love
Or feel the sun rays from above

Broken
Tormented
Ended

Why can't you just go
Leave me to my own
Let me be me

Why can't you just leave
Stop tormenting me
Let me be me

Why can't you just stop
The constant blaming
Let me be me

Why can't you just be
You
And Let me be me