The Road ahead I prepare to travel
Full of holes and moles  between metal and gravel
Replete with a series of frightening bumps
I have to drive anyway over the stumps

Roads are lonely and instill awe
Never tell the  journey leads to where
Most often tend to paint  despair
Makes one bewildered how to care

The hope of meeting an exotic fairy
not bothering the journey how dreary
Hope and expectations keep us moving
meeting somebody so caring and loving

The road becomes lengthened
and Goal post is far from sight
still I have no choice but to cross the bend
to continue the journey with all my might

Homework…
losing it,
Wanting to drop dead
Yet heart won't stop beating,
Obviously
Just keep on breathing,
But still,
Twisting insides,
Wanting to cry
Alleviate this pain,
But another drink of coffee won't be enough,
The strain is like rain,
A constant pour
Never ending,
Wanting so much to run without cause,
Or destination,
Freedom,
Just a taste,
A minute without worry,
Or something,
A distraction,
An hour of lost thought,
is all I want,
But can't get

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...

Writing through the daily wall
A blank page of A4, a biro scrawl
It’s a bit like playing arkanoid
Bouncing ***** and breaking bricks
Rotate, rotate – and that’s Tetris!

Perhaps there’s something on the other side -
Another level, a higher level, a new frontier.
But sometimes I wonder.
And when I do I’m like
Someone suffering dementia
Locked in an instituion
He cannot think outside of
Alone in the courtyard
Talking to soundbites from the past
Unaware of his own
Uniform.

the passage through time is quite uneasy
imbedded in concrete; consciousness dreamy
faces skewing, anemic monsters
intricate patterns, enhances, obscures
repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition,
incomprehension, incomprehension
i can't continue, can't vacate
i'm only human, my souls to take
i discovered what it means to be
when you can truly see
the epiphany of heavenly monstrosity
visions of a black hole theory
i've seen all of time in one moment
the future, the past, times of atonement
lucid and frightful
enlightening and grateful
heartbeat steadies
i think i'm ready
to explore the world from a different standpoint
and fully know this is not an endpoint
it's forever changing
and we're made for adapting
our primal nature's to live
i will never be held captive

You are the moon that shakes my seas
I am the sun that brightens your dreams

You are the silent wind in this fiery land
For I am the fire you cause to expand

You are the soft whisper in my ear
You, always saying what I need to hear

What speaks louder than our implicit gaze?
Nothing, as I have found throughout these days

My thoughts, they wander, and always find you
For your are my compass, who's love continues to accrue

During life's journey our paths have crossed
And the memory of you and I will never be lost

For you paralyze me with the severity of a tigers stare
Yet avert the inclination of my thoughts away from despair

In life, it is difficult to determine if my reality is clear
But I know that our undeniable love for each other is true and sincere

For you are my moon, and I am your sun
And without your balance, I feel as if I am no one

The Largest Lie

The midnight shelter of time
Buried you bottomless        somewhere
  in the recesses of my mind.
Deep deep down
In the crevices of my spine
where vague sketches of yesterday
were all that I could find.

There, where the shadows and flashes
of memories reside
unleashed moments crawl to the surface -
begging for light.
Urging to make you real again
In this space and in this  time.
I am reminded of the signs
I am re-minded of the signs
I remember though even without signs.
Because love is not blind but with stealth and slither she
Creeps from behind and buries the me that was me before she was…
Never mine,
But a mere image cut deeply into the layers of my mind and she carved time with ragged- razored lines.
I can not find.
I will not find her – the one to shine the broken edges the others left behind.
I am a catalyst for the crime, which is time spent cowered in my mind spinning tirelessly through eras of tragedy and romantic grime.
Will you please be mine?
Just one last time
Will you please be mine?
And help me to outshine my bloodline that tangles with the soulshine of these withered chimes!
My lifeline relies on the moon’s shrine that assigns your skyline to my shore line.
Watch me climb back into the sublime
roots of divine nothingness –
the grand design.
Nothingness is the grand design!
Riddled by centuries of symbols and rhyme.
Now is the time!
Now is the only time!
To reflect on and refine the largest lie!
Love is not real for she is loneliness in disguise.

You call me
courageous,
I who grew up
gnawing on books,
as some kids
gnaw
on bubble gum,

who married disastrously
not once
but three times,
yet have a lovely daughter
I would not undo
for all the dope
in California.

Fear was my element,
fear my contagion.
I swam in it
till I became
immune.
The plane takes off
& I laugh aloud.
Call me courageous.

I am still alive.