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 Dec 2013 Bea Amarille
tayler
silent
 Dec 2013 Bea Amarille
tayler
i swallowed the sun and
washed it down with a little inky night.
now wildflowers bloom in my heart
and light fills my mind. these
words are solar flares of a
fallen petal.

the price of it all--
welded lips of unspoken words.
now other people mishear
and believe i am speaking,
but it is only the wind
whistling through
my teeth.

now i find that,
being alone is silence,
but it is never quiet.
 Dec 2013 Bea Amarille
tayler
right now
right here
i'm drowning
in thankfulness
that i feel like
i won't ever be able to
express in full,
so i write these words
to let out a little
water and get enough
space to breathe.

friendship is
the greatest gift
i have ever been
blessed with.
i'm indebted to you
in a way i could
never pay you back.
i know i haven't
been a good influence.
i was always bad
at being good.
i'm expelled now
and you're still here
by my side.
i know i saved you
from this punishment
but that won't ever be
enough.
even the most
taboo of my thoughts
don't send you running
and that dumbfounds me.
the moment that we have to leave
and part ways, is the moment
a piece of my soul is going to
die. i love you.
know that,
no matter what,
you will
always
have
me
as
a
friend.
 Dec 2013 Bea Amarille
t
Let Me
 Dec 2013 Bea Amarille
t
Let me tell you something. The thing that I want more than being perfectly fine is to be perfectly matched for you. I want to wake up feeling the tip of your toes slightly kissing mine. So tender, so soft, so innocently honest. As I realized that your arms have turn to a pillow under my neck and a blanket around my waist. As slowly listening to the rhythm of your breath while I try to match it with mine. Like a symphony, like that song we play over and over again even tho you hate the way I never get tired of humming to the same tune, you still twirl me in a dance we perform in the middle of your messy room.

I want to realized the way you fall asleep. As those eyelids slowly closing, I want them to see mine as the last thing they catch in sight. We can have nothing but ourselves around each other and I still feel like I have the whole universe within my front pocket. Turning off the alarm by kissing your lips and slowly sneak into your shirt just to get me to the coffee machine because I can't even help it being anywhere without the scent of your skin.

And the morning go on. Like we will never grow old.

Let me know how you feel about your coffee. Or about me.
Anything in the world starts with a dream
But nothing ever appears as it seem
Pretending to be happy nor should I cry
Its a matter of will and the hope to fly
Time resolves in life as you walk by
Just thought of it when your Old and dry
Strange thinking but let me tell you why
Wished i made a decision and gave it a try
When I was young and a good looking guy
Life is worth it so give it a try
Hope drives you so never lean by
Beloved is a goal which everyone should buy
If this doesnt matter then you should die
Help me to remember
by helping me to forget
And vice-versa.
This weird dream
I had last night
keep tormenting me...
How shall I ignore
this strange feelings I have..
Tossing and turning..
My bed is burning..
Staring at him lying next to me
deep in his sleep...
Should have known...
I've been sleeping with the enemy..
 Dec 2013 Bea Amarille
Mia
I'm not okay without you,  because missing a moment of you is just too hard,
and because my whole world revolves around you; you could destroy me at any moment.
I keep going through your pictures as fast as my fingers will allow,
partially because I want to kiss your face, frozen in every moment.
and mostly because they're all perfect, and I can't pick just one I adore.
It hurts to see that you were happy before me, but then again you're happy now.
At least that's what I tell myself. You're happier with me.
Yes, it hurts to see you with someone else but that was before me.
I tell myself you're mine now.
That every fiber of you comes alive for me but I don't really believe that.
The notion of true love is romantic but the scientist in me won't believe;
that you never loved before me.
that you could give it all up for me.
That your life came to a stop and I walked right in the middle of it.
The pieces left from all my past selves are aching for you to touch me and love me,
for you to declare you want to make me whole again. They wait for you to fix me.
To pull me close in the center of your world and set me on a pedestal.
for this, I would give up anything. I've laid on my bed every night and wished for you.
everything I've seen since I met you has been a mere shadow of the actual representation.
My eyes are blurred by tears and fears, like what if you're just a dream meant to leave me alone.
I can wipe the tears away, but your memory lingers.it always comes back because it belongs here,
and I feel like I belong in your arms.
I hold on to you and you're tearing me apart.
I would die for you. Not an actual death,
but a little death where every part that knew you won't work without you.
Everyday, I would die, and everyday I do ,because I love you, I always have.
I have loved you not only in this life, but in all the past lives. See i didn't have to learn to love you.
My heart and soul and body were all in sync cause I was made for this;
to give you every part of me the way it was meant to be.
My body fits perfectly with yours like the missing piece.
I am yours, when you hold me. when you kiss me. and when you need me.
A part of me knows I will always be yours.
I was made to love you.

You're the man I could stare at and  say nothing,
because the type of nothing you have means everything.
You could break me over and over, and it always hurts like hell, but each time I heal is for you.
You come with me to my dreams where my soul meets yours.
I think I scare you, by revealing a love your mind could never fathom.
I dream of you,but you are so real you make my chest ache. with things I didn't know I needed,
till I met you. Things I only dreamt of now within my grasp.
I write of you because you fill my soul with words bursting to come out.
I see you and I can't speak, from beauty and pain piercing the insides of me.
I hold it all in and it flows out on paper.
I need you to live, breathe and be.

You make everything in this world matter more than it did, I've never loved  before,
and I've never missed a set of lips so much. That's why I'll always love you.
I do love you, more than anyone could love another, because I fell in love when we met.
I fell in love when you spoke to me and held me, and then I fell in love when you looked into my eyes.
The kind of love I only saw in farytales. I tried to walk away and your gravity pulled me back to you.
I nudged you awake when you slept cause I counted every hour I spent with you.
I fell in love with the way I love you, and a part of me can't give that up.
I fell for every part of you, one at a time, over and over I got ****** into your presence.
I gave myself to you and every part couldn't wait to be yours.
I am yours. Now and forever.
For Josh. Something always brings me back, and I love you now and forever.
Wasted your life with no satisfaction
Becoming yourself regret but no action
Finding love is easy but no caution
Sit and pray and hope for protection
Heart may broke thats an indication
Be sure to know the correct information                                    
Think about the sky and the power of the creation                          
Feel the horizon as it has no limitation
i read old messages for endless hours
why? because i miss what was ours
you were my very best friend
you were my soulmate
i hate how we let it all
simply go to waste
haven't met you
in the flesh
but i want to
next year
i want to see your face
and hope feelings re-appear
i want to feel your warmth
and just see you smile
it would make me glad
even for just a while
you are the one i see
when i look at the stars
you are the one i seek
every single night
i always wrap up
in a blanket
wishing it was you
holding me
instead of it
every night
same old thing
i miss your texts
i miss your everything
i miss you and i miss your love
you still fit me like a glove
people ask what is happiness to me, and I say your name...
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