I feel your warm skin next to mine,
Your soft lips pressed up against me,
Your smooth hands caressing my body.
I look into your eyes and see
The person I love more than life itself;
I see the way you look back at me.
The love in your eyes
Must be hard to disguise,
Or maybe just when you're around me.
I run my fingers through your hair,
I let them brush your beautiful cheek,
I'd do anything for you
To keep that way you look at me.
I lay my head on your chest,
And hear your heart beat;
***-***, ***-***, ***-***
Sounds like sweet music to me.
As we lay here, holding tightly to the other,
I think of just how much I love you,
And how you'll never know.

I had one thing that I truly considered to be mine,
I had one thing that I truly owned
And in the blink of an eye, the beat of a heart, the snap of a finger
It was taken from me.
I was robbed of the only thing that I owned.
Sure I have a place to cry myself to sleep at night,
But the rent I pay is only for a temporary space;
I feel homeless, and helpless
I feel violated, insulted, and worthless.
Why is it that I try so hard to lead a better life,
I am trying to find faith again,
And work for everything I want and need
Yet I am stolen from, robbed and broken down?
It hurts, and in this pain all I can seem to do
Is watch the world I stand on, crumble beneath me.

People always say,
"I'm sorry for your loss",
And, "They're in a better place now".
But really, a person that
You were close to is gone,
Not just temporarily, no,
They are dead.
Deceased, dead, passed away,
Kicked the bucket,
Death, gone, angelic,
In heaven, with the Lord,
However you want to put it,
They are gone, and they aren't coming back.
They may have died of natural causes,
Or maybe had a heart attack,
Maybe they had a rare condition,
Or maybe their heart was full of plaque.
Maybe they were killed
By someone with a heart of stone,
Or maybe they died during ***,
Their last breath-- a strong moan.
They could have died in surgery,
On top of the operating table,
Or possibly they killed them self,
Stabbing, pills, or hanging with a cable.
Whatever the cause of death may be,
That person is no longer here,
People die all the time,
Everyone we know will soon disappear.

She laughs the laugh
Of hidden pain,
And numbs a portion
Of her brain,
The part that
Stores your memory,
And in that
Her favorite melody,
A tune she sang
When she was young,
And it's now forever
Stuck on the tip of her tongue,
Intangible, though
So close to her reach,
She's blocked all of her memories,
That's something you can't teach;
A skill, if you will,
A natural trait,
Though, God only knows
What's in store with her fate.

Sometimes I catch myself
Thinking about things,
Nothing specific,
But everything all at once
And I wonder if you
Ever do the same.
Not necessarily if
You think about me,
But if you find yourself
Spending hours just sitting there,
Or perhaps laying there,
Thinking.
And maybe I cross your mind
Every once in a while,
Or maybe I don't,
But if I did;
I'd sure hope so,
I wonder what about me
You're thinking of.
The way we used to be best friends,
Or how we started to
Fall for each other
All those years ago.
Maybe you think about
The way I used to kiss you,
Or how I breathe in deeply
Just before I begin to cry.
Do you ever think about
The way we used to cuddle,
Or watch movies--
Though they are one in the same.
I used to think we were
One in the same,
But I guess now we are both
Our own "one".
So yes, I wonder if you think of me,
Because I think of you,
But I don't just think of all the people I know,
I think about the way you looked at me
Before every kiss,
The way you held my hand,
Even though your arms were too long
And mine too short, so we had to walk
Kinda funny to make it work,
But we did, because we cared.
I think about the way you smelled,
The messy, neatness of your hair,
How your boxers used to stick out of the top
Of your shorts about 2 inches.
I think about your favorite brown belt,
And your lunch box and backpack.
The way you used to look at me,
And the feeling I got in my stomach
After every glance from you.
So tell me,
Do you ever think of things like that?

Poetry is the voice
Of the hearts too damaged
To speak the language
Of a people who are not healed
Or healing, but of those
Who were never tattered to begin with.
It is the opportunity
To convey a message
In the only way known,
By those of us who have
Lost touch with the world
And everyone inside it.
We are not yet healing, or healed,
But in the depths of our wounds,
Some of us more injured than others
Yet all in the same swirling
Bottemless pit of depression
And aching.
Depression- such a powerful word,
Though never drawing attention to oneself
WE are in this abyss
Of nothingness and lonliness
Swirling around each other,
Bumping into each other,  but never leaving.

There's a roof over my head
But it's got holes in it,
Everything in life pushes
Against me, makes me want to quit.
I just have to remember
To hold my head high,
And before I know it
Another day has gone by.
I've got people all around me
To help push me through,
Even if they don't know me,
They help, they really do.
Just because life gets ******,
Doesn't mean you should quit,
It means life's handing you a test,
You've got no time to study,
All you can do is do your best.

Music; an expression of emotion, written in such a way that to anyone else would've been impossible to craft exactly that way, with a beat, melody, harmony, counter melody, vocals that take away the hurt, but at the same time bring old feelings rushing back, making you relive all those painful memories. It's almost soothing to do nothing but blankly stare at a wall or the ceiling while music that perfectly locks with your current emotional state is playing nearby. It's comforting to understand that the writer of that music felt exactly the way you do, for the same or possibly a different reason. I don't know why it's comforting when other people are in the same ****** situation as you, but for some reason it brings this feeling of relief, knowing that we're all in the same boat, going through the same problems, and all self-destructing in our personal time-bomb capsules, or bodies as I guess most people would refer to them. For many of us the timer on our bombs is running low, and pretty soon we'll be blown to pieces, but hey, at least there are others just like us, right? Who knows, or cares, because I sure as hell don't, but maybe that's the problem, maybe that's my problem, none of us care or want to, and its not just about certain things like work, drama, or being the best at something, anything for that matter, but we collectively find ourselves without interest in anything or anyone. Music touches the soul in a way that nothing else can. It repairs the broken pieces, temporarily if nothing else, and it aids the scratches, bumps, and bruises, but our hearts and souls are forever scarred, and music is the only thing to touch those scars so tenderly. Music is more than a friend or family, it has a special place in my heart, with a label of where it belongs, so nothing else takes up that space, without it, my heart would have a permanently empty hole. But that's all my heart is anyway.

There will never be enough chemistry
Between the two hearts that lie on top of one another
Beating fast, breathing faster.
Eyes closed in the dark.
We were searching for something deep
Something beautiful or complicated
I was searching for a spark.
I wanted the feeling of feeling again
That’s why I lay here naked
Intertwined with you in the sheets,
Fan on, lights off,
Listening to our hearts beat.
But it’s morning now
My bed is empty and your side is made up.
I can’t remember if you were even here
Or if it was all just a dream
A dream of ***, no passion,
And not enough chemistry.

Death;
It makes most people
Uncomfortable or sad,
But not me.
Life;
Is joyous and great
For most of the population,
But not me.
Is death the
"After life" or
Is there even an
After life?
Or maybe life
Is the prequel
To death,
Who knows?

We go through every day,
With struggles and hardships,
Benefits and positivities,
All for what?

We seek corrections for our faults,
And some strive for perfection,
Others try to get by, unnoticed,
And without detection.

We breathe without thinking,
So we have time to know more,
But if we think without breathing,
We will be no more.

The point is, we're all here,
All on this earth,
All for what?
To end up buried in the dirt?

I'm just saying,
I don't see the point in living,
But if I die prematurely,
Will God be forgiving?

I know He's forgiving,
I've been taught that my whole life,
But you see, I'm having this
Battle inside me, or maybe it's a small strife.

I don't really know the point of this,
Or main idea, or theme,
I've just let a lot build up,
And now I want to scream.

It's like finding a lost puppy
That you want to keep for your own,
But you have to return it to
It's original home.

I don't know what's gotten into me,
I'm a wreck, a mess, ******* up,
I guess I just need to calm down,
Before I blow up.

Onward I'll go with my life,
Trying to make something good out of it,
Hoping I don't get torn down again, soon,
With every uphill, a downhill will hit.

Maybe
Some people
Are meant to be alone,
Like me...

Wake up
       Think about you
Fall asleep
       Dream about you

He runs his fingers through my hair
And kisses my mouth and neck,
He whispers in my ear
But it's not him I'm thinking of, it's you, dear.
He caresses my body
As I lie next to him all night,
He gets reactions out of me,
But I wish you were beside me.
I hear his heart beating fast
And as the night goes on it gets faster,
But he isn't the one I need beside me,
It's you that I need.
You're the one that I love,
He simply is in my bed with me,
But you, you're so much more to me
Than any other guy could be.
I was too stupid to realize
Just how much I need you,
I was too caught up in attention to realize
I want to be with you.