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 Aug 2014 Baylee
Tom Leveille
and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it
 Apr 2014 Baylee
Jessie
Pierced
 Apr 2014 Baylee
Jessie
How could
shiny silver studs
forced through my skin
make me feel so good?
“The power of rebellion,”
I’ve read,
can overthrow a government,
but more importantly
can overthrow one’s mind.
Am I going crazy
over the need to rebel?
I have nothing to rebel against
but I feel like I’m
breaking boundaries
guarding nothing
but my own insecurity.
So maybe
shiny silver studs
forced through my skin
pierce my heart as well
letting free all the demons
I’m keeping locked
inside.
 Mar 2014 Baylee
Jessie
Goodbye
 Mar 2014 Baylee
Jessie
Each picture of you two together
Is an off-switch for my smile
But I’m learning to reconfigure the wires
So that you no longer control me.

Though it’s hard to forget you
When everyone told me you were the one--
You told me you were the one--
Even though you never kissed me
Beneath the moonlight.

I’ll never know if our sincerity
Meant anything to you,
But no, we can’t still be friends.
She won’t ever love you like I did
And I won’t come running back to you
When her love is not enough.
 Mar 2014 Baylee
Jessie
For Bailey
 Mar 2014 Baylee
Jessie
If I had a magic wand,
I would make you understand
That overdosing won’t **** you,
And I would make you understand
That your screams rattle my bones
And your cries tear my heart to shreds.

If I had a magic wand,
I would make the feel of my embrace a sweater
So that you could wear it anytime you like
And I would turn my laughter into a bandaid
That absorbs your pain and sends it to me,
Because I care so much
I’m going to bleed to death of it anyway.

But most of all,
If I had a magic wand,
I would make you believe that
You are enough.
You are so enough,
It is unbelievable how enough you are.
Last three lines credible to Sierra Boggess.
 Feb 2014 Baylee
Jessie
See over my right shoulder, the dead, dreary, dead branches of the wintery trees, barely moving in the ever-powerful gust of wind driving this dead, dreary, dead wintery season. Not even a fervent burst of energy can move the slim slivers of silver gray metal fibers springing out from the ever-overlooked sabers of the smothered icy flatland.

See over my left shoulder, my pale, ghostly, pale face staring back at me forcing my lucrative thoughts to my shaking hands. Not even the strongest helicase enzyme could unzip, untwist, unzip the simple, dangerous, simple deoxyribonucleic acid strung down my body, running down my veins like my steaming morning mocha, caffeinating my blood, my blood, my blood and pushing me to push farther, deeper, farther into the heavens of my thoughts, the meadows of my eyes, the hell atop my fingertips – one, two, three, four, five.

Thank heavens, your heavens, my heavens they’re all there; the unsolved mystery beneath my fingernails is still lost, lost, lost like my last fourteen chapsticks. Help, anybody. Does anyone see a lonesome chapstick tube? Forget it. It’s right beneath my toes – one, two, three, four, five. I am standing on top of a gold mine—inhale the chemicals, feel the potency of the potential inside of my body, do you realize how stupid you were? I gave you my attention and you took it like fame, I gave you my love and you took it like medication. Darling, I gave you my everything—I gave you myself but I can’t say you took it because you never did, and instead you stole my muscles and my bones, and the gravity holding up my chest from crashing back down on me after every single breath.

But most importantly, you stole my magic potion—one sip of that ever-so-clear concoction has the ability to provide me with a splinter of the sun, just enough to shine illuminating light on my mind, giving me the realization that I am still drunk off of you—and you and you apparently. But you grabbed it, took it, grabbed it, you thief, and you left me here to bear the freezing, cold, freezing winter on my own. My body is numb, my brain is numb, my heart is numb, and not even the symphony of my screams is enough to shatter, shatter, shatter the icicles surrounding my soul.

Instead, all I have is a noxious, lethal, deadly, cup of noxious, lethal, deadly poison, and I can already feel a single sip of its opacity slowly trickling down my throat like molasses. And it burns it burns it burns. Look into my eyes. See the raging heat rising, dilating my pupils to their limits, vanishing the blue from my irises, and understand that the words coming out of your mouth burn me like lava, and the volcanic essence of your intentions burns holes in my veins, leaving a forsaken cavity in my chest. So the next time you have the opportunity to articulate an opinion, make sure you don’t create a copy of the key to the cage of my own personal dragon, waiting to breathe fire on your words and wrangle, mangle, wrangle your next ones.
Written for performance.
 Feb 2014 Baylee
Kay
loved and lost
 Feb 2014 Baylee
Kay
i fell in love with you
under the Friday night lights
as you stroked my hair
and made everything alright

you fell in love with me
on a Sunday in the morning
we talked all through the night
about our loves and our worries

we climbed higher that we could alone
to look upon the world below
but then we fell in a quick free fall
the pain on our faces still shows

soon the sweetness turned to poison
the smiles washed away in tears
our hearts were broken open
and we filled them up with fears

but I’m still glad that I loved you
it’s better for us that way
for us, to have loved and lost,
than never loved at all is okay
 Feb 2014 Baylee
mark john junor
paper air planes made out
of tiny pieces of a torn up heart
they are red
but they have these streaks of black in them
it is a terrible blackness like rotting
thats unhappiness
it is poison
paper airplanes
tiny paper airplanes
he folds them quick and quiet at the stone wall
end of the driveway
at the bus stop where little old ladies dither away
long summer afternoons
tiny paper airplanes dogfight in the air
watch one go down in flames
made of the ripped up pieces of a broken heart
they are red
like fire trucks for the burning desire for her soft flesh
like alarm bells to warn off the unwary
they are red
tiny paper airplanes
one slips free
sees a cloud high up there where no paper airplane has dared
so far up in the wide open sky
none have ever even dreamed such a thing
he slips free and climbs
faster and higher
he climbs
free
 Feb 2014 Baylee
Kay
Most poems are about heartbreak-
the kind where your heart is broken.
But what about those times
when it is you who does the breaking?

I'm not trying to be a *****, I swear,
it's better to hurt you now than later.
But how can I not lie to myself
AND stop your heart from aching?

There's no other choice that I can see-
breaking your heart is what I'll have to do.
I pray that you'll forgive eventually,
and find your true love in the making.
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