Why do I hurt the people I love?
And yet I let bullies chastise and shove.
I sit in a silence and take all their hate,
but to my confidants, I yell with irate.

Why offend the people who care?
I cry and scream until they can’t bear.
But to the cruel people, I can’t take a stand.
I shrink and dissolve into small grains of sand.

Why must I **** my friends with my words?
It makes them hurt like stabbing with swords.
I sometimes can make them the lowest of low,
so cold and alone under ten feet of snow.

Why would I ignore my best friend for years,
Making us both run deplete out of tears?
Just thinking about will keep me awake.
The worst I have ever made someone’s heart break.

Why can’t I just direct my ill temper
to those who give my life a large damper?
Instead of hurting the ones that I love.
Instead of hurting the ones that I love.

My body is a temple
So only I can destroy it
And that I do,
With every imaginable resource.
I want to wither away,
To melt, to break
Into a million little pieces
So that one day, a child on the street
Will find a piece of me
And think it’s his lucky day.
Or maybe I could flow in the wind
Weightless, part of a fluffy cumulus cloud
Above everyone whole on the ground,
Traveling on great adventures.
Pieces of me will go to outer space,
Where I can look down on mankind
And explore the lives unknown;
Yet, pieces will stay right at home,
The rightful place where I fell apart,
So that everyone who tried to help,
Tried to keep me together,
Can have a token of an attempt
To prevent the creation of a memory.

Look into my eyes, tell me, tell me
Don’t you know? Don’t pretend
The fire, the fury, the pain
Drunken calls for help, all truth
Drugged pleas for you, all real
Help me, you’re the one
Not the one that I want, but I need
Only your savior can release me
Release me from the pain, the AGONY
The terror, the tears, the trials
Everything unpleasant, anything awful
Death, blood, dreams, lies
Lies to myself, to you, to everyone
Lies about me, you, everything
You know the truth, tell me the truth
Why won’t you tell me the truth?
It can save me, it will save me
Because the lies are sending me away
Deeper and deeper into the dark abyss
Where monsters can grab me, strip me
They’ll infiltrate me, my soul
I will be destroyed externally
Almost as destroyed as I am inside.
A destruction so pure, so thorough
That I’ll never be fixed – no, not ever
I’ll be gone forever, forever
And not even your memories, your pleas
Can bring me back, because I’ll be strong
I’ll finally be strong, I’ll be invincible
And you’ll never be able to find me
Never able to bring me back.
Now is your only chance,
Your last chance, for good.

I feel a pounding
Strong, like the beat of a bongo drum
It’s in my ears, my heart, my blood
The feeling pulsing through my veins
And it is burning, it’s scorching my insides.
It’s in my fingers, my bones, my toes
Getting closer, closer, almost there
But where, I don’t know.
My eyes close, the pounding fades, it stops.

It’s lost, that feeling
But still so **** loud
Deafening my every nerve
To the point where I feel nothing
Where, who, why is this sound apparent?
Boom, boom, boom, gone!
I can feel the vibrations now
I sense a new knowledge,
My awareness has peaked –
That sound, that awful ******* sound,
Bashing my heart and my brain into shards
Is coming from Hell,
Which I now find is right inside me.

A scared, sad little girl arose from her seat
At the dinner table, where thoughts went off beat.
Her plate empty, her stomach full,
And a brain filled with plans
To become a perfect little girl.

So she slowly sunk back to her room
Laid down on her bed, dark thoughts abloom.
Surrounded by the evil voices in her head,
And despite the howls and the screeching sounds,
Those terrible thoughts, she could not shred.

When she later arose with a tear-stained face,
She stalked to the sink, and gripped onto its base.
A glance in the mirror, a monster she saw,
With tiny seeds of self-love and self-hate
And out came that dinner, once and for all.

Eventually invisibility was all anyone could see
As she withered away, she was happy as could be.
Our beauty now lives with a broken mind, body, and soul,
But because of her secret no one shall know,
She forever has a heart full of sadness and holes.

Help me
I’m trapped, falling into the abyss
All I can see is darkness
Voices whisper to me as I sink
And no one can hear them but me.

Save me
The walls are closing in
And my arms are getting squeezed too tight
Please, loosen the ropes around me
Catch me before I fall again.

Release me
I see the light through a hole in the cave
But the glimpse only lasts a second
And just as quickly as it arrived,
The light disappears.

          It is dark again.