No, I'm not calling you crazy
I'm just calling out

Sometimes you amaze me
When you bring me down.

The world comes to a standstill
When you come around.

But I'm just screaming in silence
Can you hear me now?

If you stick to your guns
While they are against my head.

This time around
Aim for my chest instead.

So take me down,
I see your bluff.

I'm calling out,
Because I've had enough.

We aren't falling in love here,
We are just falling out.

I'd love to say I love you,
But I have to doubt it.

I can see past their hollow reassurances.
I know that they have sympathy but nothing beyond that.

Just a quick glance my way with those pitty full eyes that speak,
"You poor soul. I wish I could help you. I wish you the best in your journeys."
But they will never actually help me.
...

Standing in the middle of the street.
A bus screeches to a halt.
It stops inches away from me.
The driver looks at me with those same eyes,
But he does not go out to help me.
No one does, he just drives around me.
Some people stare at me with pity, others judgement,
But none will help me.
That's the tragedy of living,

You have to learn to pick yourself up because no one else will.

Oh, love,
Our time is up.

Love dies out
Just like hope
And everything else.

You will never know
How I feel about you
Because I feel more
Then I would ever dare to show
And more then I would ever dare to say

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody needs you like I do
I know that there are others that deserve you
But my darling, I am still in love with you

But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'd feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
I know I was happier with you

Baby, you look happier, you do
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new
But if they break your heart like lovers do
Just know that I'll be waiting here for you

Everything I touch just turns to stone,

I want someone who will hold me when I’m sad and whisper in my ear to wake me up,

She told me how she doesn’t like how my head is always in the clouds.

She said “If you just grew up then it wouldn’t be so rough.

I just don’t want to leave this life all alone.

So darling please listen to these 4 words.

Please Keep Loving Me
Because our hearts speak fluently
So baby,
Please Keep Loving Me

I just had a vision. 3 years from now, one late night at my university campus, I look out the window to see the moon.
I ask the moon to send a message from me to you saying,
"I love you and I miss you."
And I know that wherever you are, you'll look at the moon and hear my message. We'll spend the night having a conversation through the moon and I'll make a wish, just like Brendon Urie once said,
"Hey moon, please forget to fall down. Hey moon, don't you go down."

I like you not just because you're pretty and smart,
But because you understand me
And what I'm going through.
We have had similar experiences
And you understand my diagnosis more than me.
Despite all my flaws, you still accept me for who I am
And that's more than I could ever ask for.

I don't think you know the extent of how much harm my ex has caused me
And how much she haunts me.
She caused me so much mental and emotional pain
And I have so much PTSD from that relationship.
I don't think you know how scarred I am from that relationship.
Even the slightest thing can cause memories to flash through my mind.
Simple things such as watching Tv, eating food in front of people causes me so much anxiety.
I don't think you understand.

No, wait, I know you don't understand.

You don’t get a say in whether you’ll be hurt in love,
But you do have a say in who will hurt you.
So, darling, hurt me.

I want someone who’s hugs bring me back home
And the feeling of being overcome by happy memories fills my mind

Why do I always hate myself more after someone compliments me
Or says something nice to me?
It’s like my mind just shuts off and goes into reverse.
And ****
Why can’t i just be happy?

It’s because I believe that I don’t deserve anything but pain and suffering.

My history could use a change in scenery.
The ones I care about, they always leave.
The girl before you might have gotten rid of the best of me.

I push away the people that I love and care about
Because I’ve already scarred people with my past,
And now they are trapped in the darkness because of me

I’m insecure and so I question everything.
You’ve told me for the thousandth time that you love me,
But this feeling of doubt and insecurity still looms within me.
Voices tell me that you shouldn’t have doubts in a relationship
And that since I do have doubts I would be bette off alone.
So I always end the relationship early,
Even if there was nothing wrong or the problem was fixable.
You see the voices they tell me things
And my body just reacts to what they say,
Which in turn leads me to do things I don’t want to.

You’ve asked me to write you a poem,
But it seems that I have lost my words.
There’s been a disruption in the flow of my ink.
I need to get out of here and go somewhere where I can clear my mind,
But you see,
I am tied down to this house where I get flashbacks of my past,
Angry outbursts and drunken rages fill my mind.
You said to tell you how to comfort me so here it is
Come and break my chains,
Let’s run away together to the ocean where we can watch the sun set and rise.
Just you and me.

Summer reminds me of the feeling of freedom and no worries.
It reminds me of the smell of camp fires and the sound of the water.
Summer reminds me of all the sunset and sunrises.
The sound of the wind.
It reminds me of warmth and all the fun of being around your friends.
Summer reminds me of myself

The joy and the chaos,
The demons we're made of,
I'd be so lost if you left me alone,

You locked yourself in the bathroom,
Lying on the floor when I break through,
I pull you in to feel your heartbeat,
Can you hear me screaming "please don't leave me"?

Hold on, I still want you
Come back, I still need you
Let me take your hand,
I'll make it right
I swear to love you all my life

A long endless highway, you're silent beside me
Driving a nightmare I can't escape from
Helplessly praying,
The light isn't fading
Hiding in the shock and the chill in my bones

They took you away on a table
I pace back and forth as you lay still

I don't wanna let go
I know I'm not that strong
I just wanna hear you
Saying baby,
Let's go home

Tension was created between us by an argument we had,
Still unclear about the status of our relationship,

Back at home,
Downstairs playing the piano,
But for some reason it’s not the same
As playing piano for you
Back at the Psych Ward.

Back at home,
Playing that song.
Which I taught you,
And where you asked me to sing for you,

Back at home,
Away from you.

I lay outside in the sun,
Soaking in the warmth of the sun.

It is hot out,
But I still feel cold.

I’m cut off by the world around me,
The distance between my mind and reality is increasing rapidly.

Soon I will just be a hollow shell,
My mind lost in the past and the future.

I need you to bring me back to reality,
I need you to bring me back to you.

You say that you’ll always be there for me,
But how can you say that when you haven’t even seen the glimpse of my mind?
You say that you care for me,
But I’ve heard those words before
By many different people
Who are now long gone.
So, I ask you
How can you say these things without knowing if you mean them?
And more importantly,
How do you expect me to believe you when everyone else who has ever said that to me, left?

Thank you,
For all that you’ve done,

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You stand up on the table, you shout,
"This is not who I am. This is not what I want. This is my life not yours. I'm not a puppet."

Everyone gasps and points their finger at you, shouting,
"This is what you have to be. This is what you have to want. You must follow the status quo."

You look at everyone, "This is my life and I will live it wisely, for me, not for you." You reply, as you turn around and become something incredible.

I'm lost
Lost in the moments where I'm fighting to stay alive
Lost in the oceans of my thoughts
Lost in the fire of my feelings
Lost in the world
Without you

We forget that when we are lonely we are never really alone
Sometimes you just have to look deeper to find it. We are never alone.
There will always be someone out there
Going through the same thing
Dealing with similar things
Feeling the same emotions

I'm scared of being caught up with life and forgetting,
How much I love you.
I'm scared that one day,
I'll choose my work instead of you.
I'm scared that I will become so caught up with things I have to do ,
That I will forget the things that really matter;
And that nothing compares to sleeping and waking up next to you.

"How many times can a heart be broken?" I asked,

You replied, "How many times can a heart heal?"

I am plastered with ideologies and expectations of other people.
I am the product of everyone else's wants.
I am everything everyone wants me to be.
I am everything but me.
I am not enough.

I am in a room surrounded by family and friends,
But I still feel alone
Without you, I might as well be standing on another planet.

Home is not what city you were born in,
What country of origin you are,
But where you belong.
Home is the feeling of being complete.
People travel the world to find it.
I find it in you.