Barker

Jul 2018

Ksenia

Darling,

I will never be able to completely comprehend the magnitude of your suffering.

Unfortunately I can not change your past.

And I know this is an annoying notion,
but your past has shaped you into who you are today.

But darling,

I promise to love every part of you and do my best to treat you the way you should have been treated your whole life.

A beautiful soul like you deserves to be worshiped.

Barker Jul 2018

Understanding the depth

I like you not just because you're pretty and smart,
But because you understand me
And what I'm going through.
We have had similar experiences
And you understand my diagnosis more than me.
Despite all my flaws, you still accept me for who I am
And that's more than I could ever ask for.

(c)ibarker

Barker Jul 2018

You don't

I don't think you know the extent of how much harm my ex has caused me
And how much she haunts me.
She caused me so much mental and emotional pain
And I have so much PTSD from that relationship.
I don't think you know how scarred I am from that relationship.
Even the slightest thing can cause memories to flash through my mind.
Simple things such as watching Tv, eating food in front of people causes me so much anxiety.
I don't think you understand.

No, wait, I know you don't understand.

(c)ibarker

Barker Jul 2018

Pain IV

You don’t get a say in whether you’ll be hurt in love,
But you do have a say in who will hurt you.
So, darling, hurt me.

(C)ibarker

Barker Jul 2018

Pain V

You see that’s the thing about pain,
It forces you to feel it.
When you embrace pain,
Then you can move forward from it

(C)ibarker

Barker Jul 2018

Nice Try

You take away the one thing that makes me happy,
That’s why I’m bitter towards you.
All my hatred and anger goes to you,
Because you tell me “We want what’s best for you. How can we make you happy?”
And when I tell you suddenly it’s my fault that everything is ****.
Then you say “Well we know what’s best for you. We understand what you are going through. We know what you feel.”
Well you ******* don’t.
You aren’t me and I sure as hell don’t tell you jack ****.
So, how do you expect me to be happy,
When all I am to you is a kid who can be ordered around?

(C)ibarker

Barker Jul 2018

Disappointment in love

I love you
So let me
Disappoint you

Because if
You love someone
Than you are
Opening yourself up
To them
And that means
Disappointing them
In one way
Or another

So please
Disappoint
Me

(C)ibarker