I want someone who’s hugs bring me back home
And the feeling of being overcome by happy memories fills my mind

Why do I always hate myself more after someone compliments me
Or says something nice to me?
It’s like my mind just shuts off and goes into reverse.
And ****
Why can’t i just be happy?

It’s because I believe that I don’t deserve anything but pain and suffering.

My history could use a change in scenery.
The ones I care about, they always leave.
The girl before you might have gotten rid of the best of me.

I push away the people that I love and care about
Because I’ve already scarred people with my past,
And now they are trapped in the darkness because of me

I’m insecure and so I question everything.
You’ve told me for the thousandth time that you love me,
But this feeling of doubt and insecurity still looms within me.
Voices tell me that you shouldn’t have doubts in a relationship
And that since I do have doubts I would be bette off alone.
So I always end the relationship early,
Even if there was nothing wrong or the problem was fixable.
You see the voices they tell me things
And my body just reacts to what they say,
Which in turn leads me to do things I don’t want to.

You’ve asked me to write you a poem,
But it seems that I have lost my words.
There’s been a disruption in the flow of my ink.
I need to get out of here and go somewhere where I can clear my mind,
But you see,
I am tied down to this house where I get flashbacks of my past,
Angry outbursts and drunken rages fill my mind.
You said to tell you how to comfort me so here it is
Come and break my chains,
Let’s run away together to the ocean where we can watch the sun set and rise.
Just you and me.