Let be the fringes of past,
for with all your hands
you cannot reweave
the rug soon to be
under our feet.

Step lightly,
there are beings here
and they have been here all along,
through our noises and *******,
and they do not celebrate
nor recoil,
but we must give them the space
they do not ask for besides.

I am in love with wear,
and white made of color,
and the black made of light.
The where to which we are going.

No amount of sowing can plant the seed
that is to be
these that will flower,
and still there is power there
in the empty air,
and it is shared.

Care not for my death,
for it already has your love.
Care not for sadness,
it is already sated.

I've waited for a sign from God
and here i find that his gift
is not to be had
but still is to be given.

As they tie the white blindfold
On my eyes They line up the
FIRING Line see if I do not stand brave
**** **** **** cocking of rifles
Are explosions in my ears
Fearless I hold
Your picture in hand and take the
Bullets Crainial Spatail gasps
Lungs collapsing
My last thoughts hinge on your
White ******* as my tounge finds
The gunmetal taste of skin
Your haunting laugh
Screaming in frequencies
Unheard mere mortals
I reach the throne room of the gods
With a knife hidden in my boot

Did you think I would forget?
Your scent still hangs on me
Electrical I squeeze out each last
Drop of Malice upon a silent hotel room
Even though the news on mute taunts me
With polite smiles reminiscent of your taut hello
A year I spend standing in the rain
Trying to wash the scent of you from my skin
Your taste on my lips
Leaving corpses
Hollow in your wake
The Forked Tongue she spills
Poison in my wine each time
I turn towards the candle  light
Until one night I caught her in my Bed
You have no Idea for what you ask
Until at once you understand
I take your hand
Like the moth I rip the wings from your back
You twitch and ****** on waves of pain as
I bring you ever closer to the flame
Your thorax structure spasms of ecstasy
Won't you light me up?
As the beast gives rise
Parting porcelain thighs divine

I find god's stash of
***** tapes in the closet
When I was searching for
A reason not to empty the
Entire clip into my chest
Each bullet carved
With your name in
Perfect Cursive

I break into your house while you are out with your new boyfriend
And I lie on your bed that we used to lie in
I cradle the pistol in my pocket
I keep reaching down to feel
As if I have forgotten it
Flicking the safety
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
*****
Ch­ambering the first
Nine millimeter
Hollowpoint  
As I hear your front door open
And you flick
The porch light on
Bathing the moonlit yard
In artificial light
The Roses red
I spent my last $12 dollars on
Wilt on the kitchen counter
While in the hall you kiss his neck and
Unzip his name-brand jeans
Leading him to your bedroom door

dish water rattling
i want to take my clothes off
my neck is slightly aching
and all thoughts of love come rushing
through my lungs and constrict the position
that I'm placed.
privileged kids with big egos, big brains
heads full of assumptions because of the clothes you wear
or the friends you've made.
and it just so happens that you're one of them,
the strategy to get out of their judgement's alignment
alludes you and you fall into patterns like clay bricks
stacked one on top of the other in a straight row with
no cement between and you're restlessly waiting for them
to tip over and make your escape.

friendship wasn't so much as a license to love
as it was to be stepped on back then.
when the realization occurred in that brain
you framed impatient, the agreement to share
thoughts expired and you gave in to the dreams
you fought to suppress.

I want to undress.

my love is shy but he's all mine
he gets distracted and forgets the time
but look at me,
my love is bold and I am lost to it
I stare at the clock so long
I might as well marry it
oh, **** me please, I just want to carry it
this heart of mine in my chest
no, **** it, I'll just bury it.

if I wrote the things I wanted to say in anger
then I could just crumple them, just like my bones
do when I've jumbled them, and I can't get a grip
with the tip of my lip on your lip,
or
maybe that's the only way I feel I can in some moments.

here I am, killing myself.
don't worry, I'm doing it slowly,
and only slightly on purpose.

keep telling me you're trying,
I don't want to hear you've given up.

I was going through old facebook messages deleting ones that didn't seem like they had a purpose anymore. I found three threads from dead friends. One died in a car crash, she was seventeen. Last thing she said to me was "I'll see you later Joshy-Poo!" and she gave me a hug. She died the next day. Another friend killed himself. Last thing I talked with him about was the good reference I would give him for a job since I was his manager. He blew his head off a couple months back. Now their ghosts are still on my wall. Messages forever stamped in a way. An inbox that will never be checked.
Other messages I went over were just people or untitled "users" that never messaged back or I the other way around because I didn't want them in my thoughts anymore. But still these words remained... until I deleted them.
We all push forward my dear, but entropy increases. It always increases...

Certain things about people
Make us want to keep them around
The first thing for me is the sound
Of your voice

I know you’ve
Walked on some coals from hell
You never want to go back
I walked there without my shoes

Your closet is like a rainbow,
just bent a little different
You’re the light source and
The light refracts through you

From your all-back Vans to your
Double beaded pearl hair band
You’re the collection of beautiful and comfortable
That the world has searched for

I know I can trust you with
The secrets of my life
Because even if you file them way
It’ll be organized and clean

When we invest ourselves into something
That offers no retribution
We’re already set up for failure
Aren't we idiots!

It’s been ten years since the stain glass window
I loved to look through
Shattered in front of me
The cuts go deeper than flesh and bones