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I had been running
For years.....
Tuning it out
And turning my back
But the stabbing in my brain
Won't let me shut it out
I hate when memories find there way in
When you rather they just fade away
If I could vanquish these faces from my mind
I would do it in a hearts beat
But for now I'll reach for gods hand
To help me through the maze of memories
I couldn't help but feel so sad
Because I know I grow older and I'll have to realese the good times I've had
I fear of forgetting
Of all that I have
Growing old, and dying
I don't mind dying , but I can't forget
Who I am, who I love
I'm scared of a new year and what it brings
Always cautious of turning the corner
Monsters always lurk near by
And solemnly I cry
But I can't say why
The passing of the time perhaps
And though I'm young and have much to see
I wonder what horrors I may next face
See I've learned not to trust the unknown
Pain prowls in the fog
And though I am only human
I can only wish I rise above the greed
I should be thankful to still breath
But fear has crippled me
I have found that I ...... Am weak
My Brittle Heart Entwined With Hope's Coarse Veins,
My Soul Fighting For My Body's Control,
Is It Really That Wrong To Feel This Plain?
My Glass Is Neither Half Empty Or Full

Is It Wrong To Dream, Or Wish Upon Stars?
There Is No Sunshine When I Dream Or Wish,
Is It Wrong To Search For Something So Far?
Is It Wrong To Walk A Desert As Fish?

Does Hope Grow On Trees, Or Sway In The Wind?
Does Bad Luck Wear Glasses? And Is Luck Blind?
Does Heaven Give Offers Then Rescind?
It Feels Like--You Never Know What You'll Find

Is It Wrong We All Don't Get Time To Heal?
I'm Starting To Wish Good Fortune Was Real
Dedicated To Everyone Who Feels The Same
I'm Still New To Sonnets So Sorry If It's Messy
Artificial Lights
Lead The Way Back To My Home
But Is It Really?
Quiet and dark the room was empty
Waiting quietly for sleep to take me
I was falling when my ears heard it
A voice so quite
It has to be my mind
Because when I looked no face was to find
The absence of sleep must be playing tricks
Because I closed my eyes again and I heard it quick
My heart sputtered to a pound
As I listened for a sound
Closer it came only when my eyes were closed
The owner must not want me to know
I bit my lip and shook with fear
I couldn't stop the soft flow of tears
I rather be alone
But the whispers here would roam
They spoke so quite I couldn't define
I wondered if it was my mind
But I was silent and the whispers grew louder
But never did they shout, never
I'm praying for sleep
But the voices they never sleep
They never rest
It was an evil test
To keep from pulling at my hair
But I heard them, heard them there
I wanted to scream
But nobody could know of the whispers
They'd never understand
The White Snow Glitters In Dying Sunlight,
Underneath Lie Frostbitten Dead Flowers,
I Know Not Of How To Stay Warm Tonight,
The Sun Slowly Dropping Every Hour,
The Tables Have Turned In Utter Despair,
My Muscles Screaming With Every Step I Make,
My Heart Lies Limp And Lame In Winter's Stare,
My Throat Laughs Yet My Soul Is Full Of Ache,
My Lips Chapped And My Eyes Frostly Glazed,
I Walk Aware Of The Panthers And Crows,
I Know I Am Their Prey--My Judgement Hazed,
Creatures Watch As I Walk On Bare Corn Rows,
Yet My Brothers Watch From This Whitened Wood,
I Knew They Would Save Me--I Understood
This Is Kinda Random But It Is My First Sonnet.. Not Sure If It Even Is A Sonnet.... How'd I Do?:)
Tonight The Thickets Are Completely Still,
The Cold Is Cutting Through My Damp Jacket,
The Pale And Far Away Sun Almost Gone,
The Only Sound Is A Lone Raven's Call,
It Is Hoarse Yet Quiet, Miles Away,
Evergreen Boughs Lie Limp Heavy With Snow,
Picture Perfect--A Postcard From God's Land,
Winter Is An Odd Time In The Forest,
Rarely Do I See A Bird Flutter Or,
Hear Any Creature Stir In This White Wood,
Frozen In The Snow Lie Sleeping Flowers,
Yet I Have Never Heard Those Flowers Snore,
Tonight The Thickets Are Eerily Still,
Yet This Quiet Is What I've Searched For,
The Silence Whispers A Song Few Can Hear,
I Am Fine With This Being The Last Song,
Which Ever Slithers In My Frosted Ear
(In Iambic Pentameter No Rhyme) Up In The UP Of Michigan, Beautiful Right Now, I Never Want To Leave--This Place Makes Me Happy
Sun setting, disappearing beneath the sea
The slight sadness that was left whisked away
I was there, thinking of my life
And it had struck me
Like a bolt of lightning shot from
The heavens fingers
I was wasting time , I was wasting it on what?
Bits of hurt feelings , and pity for myself
I got up and made my way to the waters edge
And watched my starry reflection
Being pulled in different ways
As the sea breathed
If I wanted to be great
If I wanted to make a small mark
In the big world , I couldn't just sit on the shore
And wait
I have to pursue the fleeting possibilities
I have to open my mind to things
If I wanted to be great I had to think for myself
I have to stop dwelling on little things with
No relevance
Moving onward , walking across the waters
To capture the sun
In my palms
And rise my hands to my ancestors
As an offering
That from this point
I will put forth the strength and integrity
I pledge to have
That I will push my way through if at first the way is to small
When I cry I have to hide
Afraid of what others might see
When I'm so vulnerable
When my walls break down
When I let go
Can't stomach that I'm only human
That I hurt that I have feelings
I only want to be numb
I'm losing my mind
I'm losing my grip
So close I might slip
Don't want to feel love
Rage is In my grip
Burning burning
Heating up
I'm dying dying
Falling out
Crying crying
I won't be fine
I'm done with rules
I don't care
I won't care
I done so done
I'm losing my sight
The walls have gone red
My heart is dead
Turn my music up loud
And walk the streets
Put away fear
I can't afford to feel
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