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183 · Jan 2023
Wolf
badwords Jan 2023
The words are all read
Children tucked into bed

Placation without heart

Those rats breed
On incestuous feed
No parent or decree
Feral dogs, free

The pups come amiss
Identities adrift
No attempt to uplift
Another brokerage stiffed

And they roar
And they howl
For the ever-late 'now'

And they feast
And they dine
That semblance of 'how'

They devour one-another
A cannibalistic cover
Reward for an absent mother
Station for no other

Bark.
Bay.
Cry.
You've devoured your reasons why
182 · Apr 16
Parables
badwords Apr 16
(In which a man attempts to accept love and accidentally becomes a cow)

This is the story of a man named Stanley.

Now Stanley, you see, is not special. Or so he insists.
He has repeated this to himself so many times, it has become his emotional version of brushing his teeth.
A hygiene ritual.
A preventative spell.
After all, special people deserve love. And Stanley is not one of those. Obviously.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

But something curious happened on an otherwise unremarkable day.
A message arrived. A ping, to be precise.

The sender? A person so attuned to his internal wiring that she quoted the same poetic rhythm he'd dreamed up before he'd even written it.
She spoke of visions, alternate lifetimes, and uncanny recognitions.
She was warm, mercurial, mythic, and occasionally difficult to pin to one timezone.

"You feel like home," she said.
"Like I’ve known you across lifetimes."
"You are seen."

This would be the moment, traditionally, where the protagonist would feel relief.
Triumph.
A soft landing.

Stanley, instead, experienced a full existential system crash.
Because nothing short-circuits a trauma-trained nervous system faster than a sincere compliment without terms and conditions.

At this point, Stanley had two choices.

Option 1: Accept the genuine affection of this person, even if it made him dizzy.
Option 2: Doubt every word, spiral into recursive self-analysis, and begin drafting apology poems while comparing himself to her ex in a sport he wasn’t even signed up for.

Stanley chose Option 3:
Overthink so hard that time bends.

The narrator watched as Stanley flailed with academic elegance.

He questioned whether she was real.
He wondered if he’d invented the entire experience, perhaps as a defense mechanism.
He accused himself of being manipulative simply for existing in someone’s affection.
He cross-referenced their emotional timelines like a conspiracy theorist mapping red string on a corkboard made entirely of childhood neglect.

At one point, he tried to explain that her feelings were clearly mistaken, that she had transferred her affection from someone else and landed on him by accident, like a poetic game of romantic pin-the-tail-on-the-trauma.

"I just thought you'd be more… together," he imagined she’d say.

She didn’t. She said:

“I love you.”

To which Stanley responded, emotionally speaking,
by shoving his head into a metaphorical cow costume and mooing in panic.

And here, dear reader, we reach the hamburger portion of our tale.

See, Stanley had long been praised for his vulnerability.
His writing was raw, elegant, soaked in sorrow.
People wept over his metaphors.
They called him “brave,” which is generally code for “I’m glad this wasn’t about me.”

And then, one person came along
who didn’t want just the work.
She wanted him.

She didn’t want the processed meat.
She wanted the cow.
And not in a weird way.
She wanted the full, unshaved animal of his grief, his brilliant Stanleyce, his twitchy sense of humor,
his existential spirals and the way he tried to apologize for existing while still writing beautiful things.

Stanley, in turn, tried to negotiate this affection
by comparing himself to expired yogurt
and then emotionally ghost riding a milk truck off a cliff.

But the real twist?
She stayed.

Even when he spiraled.
Even when he glitched.
Even when he tried to convince her that she’d made a cosmic error in her romantic calculations.

She stayed.

Not because he was perfect.
Not because he was easy.
But because she meant it.

And Stanley, for once, had no script for what to do when love didn’t run.

He tried to write a closing stanza for the experience,
but accidentally wrote a satire about cows.

Because that’s what artists do when they don’t know how to accept kindness.
They deflect.
They perform.
They turn sincerity into irony
because sincerity burns the tongue when you're not used to swallowing it.

And still,
somehow,
the story remains open.

Because nobody is amused
by a stray cow.
But most people enjoy
a good hamburger.

And Stanley—messy, wounded, luminous Stanley—
was never meant to be processed.

He was meant
to be seen.
Because no one asked for it!

If you haven't played it; PLAY IT! 'Art' ending is best ending.
180 · Feb 2021
Squall
badwords Feb 2021
She spins a web
Like a clock
Flow and ebb
A prudent stock
it does not confound
With time
A truth is found
With rhyme
With reason
Blood on her hands
Another season
******, it stands
A game; check and mate
Gone once again
Silence, no debate
Just another 'friend'
An absence of notion
Perpetual motion
Lost inside
No self to confide
A storm in the ocean
badwords Dec 2024
She looked like a corpse on my front porch
Clutching the spawn of her latest divorce, saying
"Let's get the baby high"

"Oh little pig, little pig, let me in
I've traded food stamps for a bottle a' gin
C'mon, let's get the baby high!"

"For someone like you to get custody
Of an innocent child's a tragedy
No, don't get your baby high."

"Oh, just open up, I've got nowhere to go
My man threw me out and it's starting to snow
So, let's get the baby high!"

"I don't mean to question your parenting skills
But I'm really amazed that kid hasn't been killed
Please don't get your baby high."

"For someone like you to criticize me
Is really the height of hypocrisy
So, let's get the baby high!"

"There's no way in hell I'll open my door
I still have pictures from the time before
No, don't get your baby high."

"Yes I've traded my oldest for a couple a' lids
But it's none of your business how I raise my kids
Now, let's get the baby high!"

"For someone like you to get custody
Of an innocent child's a tragedy
No, don't get your baby high."

"I've asked you politely, now I'm gonna be mean
If you don't open up, I'm going to scream
Let's get the baby high!"

"You can scream all you want but you're not gettin' in
What you do to that kid is really a sin
Please don't get your baby high."

"For someone like you to criticize me
Is really the height of hypocrisy
Now, let's get the baby high!"

"It must be a boy because it's turning blue...
Oh, cootchie, cootchie coo..."

She still stood like a corpse on my front porch
Still clutching the spawn of her latest divorce, saying
"Let's get the baby high!"
Let’s Get the Baby High by The Dead Milkmen"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CgINw0KLBI

Let's Get the Baby High!
https://hellopoetry.com/onlylovepoetry/
179 · Jan 2023
Freefall
badwords Jan 2023
This one time
I fell out of a plane
Or a spaceship
I guess it's the same

I had a perspective so grand
For where I might land
And I could see,
All possibility

The present, the future, the past
The woes and the wins
Time dilated, all dies cast
Topography approaching, fast

For a short time;
"I am flying!"
A juxtaposition of mine
For my imminent dying

I hit the ground
Kersplat!
With no one around
To hear that

Was I a tree--
In it's third act?
No spectators to see
The impact

Did I fall?
Or was this a dream?
In absence of all
This would seem

A quiet desolation
Silent affirmation
An invisible monument
To what we mean
Okay, here is the last one from the storage bins... For now. I feel like when I had this posted years ago, it never really gained much attraction. The allegory and prose are decent enough and I personally appreciated the narrative (obviously).

The experiment was a playful exploration of existentialism (quelle surprise)  While I do exit on sombre tones I felt like it was an effective juxtaposition I felt like it was an honest counter-point to the listed repartee. I'm not some non-sense blowing smoke up your ***.

As it is, this still stand as one my my personal favorite pieces. It'll never be perfect but, neither will I.
179 · Nov 2024
No Better Than No One
badwords Nov 2024
Alone, at 'home'. A day, unpaid.
Bills to atone, fiscally afraid.
Debt of two, now on one.
Payments due, nothing 'fun'.

Survival, not 'thriving'.
OT windfalls--budget conniving.
Choices made. Austerity seeps.
The bed is laid, time to sleep.

Hardship evoked, no regrets
Deals revoked, struggle I beget
Conscious clear, I did my best.
For dollars, fear. Portents to attest.

But this is me.
Limited vocabulary.
Vernacular simplicity.
Self-imposed repository.

The Idiot with history.

The fool doling out the same lines.
An unaware pantomime.
To succinctly find.
Another pre-used rhyme.

(Look it up)

Burn me at the stake, another fake.
Dream, do not wake. For goodness sake
I take and take. Little do I make.
'Images' I bake. In my tower, I quake.

I fear the truth; I am no better than no one.
I fear abuse. A lofty status--position not won.
I grab and I steal, to broker this deal
Better to feel, a fantasy over what is real.

My efforts contrived, come as no surprise.
To open eyes, importance implied.
This flippant disguise cannot hide--
Ego paralyzed, Meaning subsidized.

---

I sit alone in this place, a history to trace.
Accountability's lace. Consequences to face.
I made my decision, in our division.
A better vision, self-inflicted incision.

To heal what is not well
.
Synopsis:
This poem reflects the aftermath of a toxic relationship, highlighting the speaker’s struggle with financial strain, emotional solitude, and the unfulfilled promise of shared responsibility during the separation. Beyond the hardships imposed by external circumstances, the piece turns inward, focusing sharply on the speaker’s role in their current situation. It critiques patterns of behavior, unrealistic expectations of others, and decisions that contributed to their predicament.

The poem doesn’t shy away from self-reproach, acknowledging the ways in which ego and flawed perceptions have clouded judgment. By recognizing these patterns, the speaker attempts to take accountability for their part in the dissolution of the relationship, even as they face the unfair burdens left behind. The tone alternates between vulnerable introspection and stark self-awareness, offering a candid reflection of personal responsibility.

Artist's Intent:
The poem’s intent is to confront the consequences of self-made choices and the speaker’s complicity in creating their own hardships. It does not seek sympathy but instead uses poetic expression to dissect and own the behaviors and expectations that have led to this moment. By holding a mirror to their own actions, the speaker underscores the importance of accountability, even in the face of external betrayal. The work ultimately serves as a reminder that growth often begins with the willingness to confront and critique oneself, no matter how painful the process.
178 · Jul 2023
Tolds
badwords Jul 2023
Listen to what you are told
Fragments un fold
of lies untold
and you are sold

bought and sold
A finger in the fold
Callout: a cold
Call-out

"A-Call-Out??"


Litmus untold
brazen and bold
into a fold
you dive

Your reality
fails.
People are more than pails
The screeching and crying wails
a ship of prestigious sails.

And 'Who' give a ****?
of something worthwhile?
Absence of 'dollar or' or 'buck'?"

That chagrin
that, 'buck'
"it's just dumb-luck"
Oraphice-wide, now ****
177 · Sep 2023
Planning For the Future
badwords Sep 2023
I am not a particularly intelligent person
But, I have a decent ability to recall
Two-years-old, situations I did worsen
Yet, I don't remember their 'fall'

One of my earliest points of memory
Almost three years old: choices just begot
My Mom's parents visit with a caravan of glee
A robot-car sent on a septic adventure for naught
ICYMI: Autobots have little warranty...

The poor chap was certainly worse for the wear
Two years on this face, I hardly recognized a trace
I am engulfed in the concept of 'care'
I begin to understand the idea of 'space'

...

We move around a lot, a different school each year
I never knew anyone, hardly myself
Mom's drinks with friends, now a lonely 12 pack of beer
Undefined desires put on the shelf

8th grade, at best. Mother's mistakes. My behest
No school. Motel efficiency. On our own.
A thirteen-year-old adoptive father at the test
A pool, limited cable TV; "make this home"

Although she shared a different paternal progeny
My half-sister should not share the same fate as me
I tried to make Mom's $5 to feed us celebratory!
But, I think she grasped the sadness. Solidarity.

...

I miss them now, although we do not speak
My mom is dead and my relationship with Molly is weak
For my failure, I fear I reek
Unable to provide the happiness they seek

...

I never learned to plan for the days ahead
I spend my time, aestheticizing myself instead
Joy supplemented by chemicals to quiet my head
A torn and tattered thread

If I had one wish:

I would hope that we all are doing better
badwords Nov 2024
""Umm, as far as supportive
He would have to support me financially"
"Umm, I like a man that has money (hahaha)
Umm, that has goals in life..."

It's night but I can't stay asleep
Like you do, straight through till morning
When you pour my coffee and say, "Baby
All that caffeine causes bad dreams
Where all your anxiety is unleashed"

Well, lately my days aren't much better
Can't concentrate when I'm at work
I just think and think until my head hurts
Of the payment plans I'm making
I just wanted to provide for you

But if you wanna make a run for it
My love, I'd cover you
And if you need money for bills
My lover, I could cover you

'Cause I sold some ****, I'm saving up
We can get that house next to the park
I'll get more hours at my dad's shop
Yeah, we'll plan for everything
And we'll enroll in that middle class
Get a compact car full of discount tags
If you're feeling trapped or too attached
Remember we wanted that

But if you need money for bills this month
My love, I'd cover you
And if you have to lie to everyone
Well, I'd cover up for you

'Cause we're growing older, growing up
Just like our parents before us
With your new job at the coffee shop
We're ready for anything
And we'll graduate that middle class
Get a nicer car full of shopping bags
If you're feeling sad, kind of detached
Remember we wanted that
Remember we wanted that
Remember that we wanted it
Yeah, remember

'Cause I sold some ****, I'm saving up
We can get that house next to the park
With the extra hours I picked up
We will pay for everything"
"Remember that we wanted this!"

Man And Wife, The Former (Financial Planning) by Desaparecidos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNxHfmd-LCs
176 · Mar 29
Unnecessary
badwords Mar 29
I saw my voice walk out the mouth of you.
It sounded cleaner—less afraid to land.
The metaphors, the weight, the angle too—
but carried with a sharper, steadier hand.

You said the thing I’d almost thought to say,
but smoothed the edge I left too raw, too late.
I watched it move with grace I couldn’t fake,
like watching someone else translate my fate.

I never claimed the patent for the ache,
but still, it stung to see it said so well.
You didn’t steal—no lines for me to stake—
just haunted me with how your cadence fell.

I’m not the first, and God, I’m not the best.
But still I hoped I had a tone that stayed.
And when you spoke it cleaner from your chest,
I felt my outline tremble, then obey.

I called it kin, then caught myself and stalled.
Would that make me a fraud, or just a root?
A prototype? A first-run demo called
to clap for someone dressed in better truth?

I don’t resent it—no, I feel relief.
To hear my half-formed shapes come into form.
But still I sit beneath this quiet grief:
was I the signal, or just part of the swarm?
#smh

Yeah, that iambic pentameter, get your parent's permission before tying this at home.
175 · Dec 2022
The Reptile
badwords Dec 2022
There is a part of my brain
That believes it keeps me sane
While 'Over' is the game
A ludicrous plane

The reality: deceased
A temporary lease
**** so ******
Life abrupt

"Hang in there'
They say
In that colloquial way
No idea where

The lizard breathes
Impetuousness seethes
It's time to go
The last rodeo

And I fear
My actions and choices
Too many voices
Nothing is clear

That part of my mind
I wish to leave behind
To be kind
To those left behind

I ask to turn it off
And they scoff
'I'm not well'
'Enjoy your hell'

Everything was here before me
Everything will be here after
I am an irrelevant part of possibility
Please contain your laughter
175 · Jun 2023
'Dazzled'
badwords Jun 2023
Dazzled, bewitched, betwixt
Your attention is clearly affixed
To  fantasy, a dream--a non-reality
This sad thing you see as me

But, I love you as you are
Although, your dreams take you far
Away into the distance
Illusion believed as instance

Beauty decried by the blind
Have regard for those left behind-
Sight intoxicating
Left waiting,

And wanting; more


It's just a door!
But, you adore

A projection
Of a reflection

Of what you can't keep inside
The elephant you cannot hide


But, it's just a door!
A portal into possibility
You're wanting more
And never question what you seek

In this hallway
there are many doors
It's easy to run away
And simply choose one that is 'ours'

But, we must question our periphery
Understand not all is what we see
We must find Love internally
Before professing it eternally;
"To truly love another--first, I must love me"
It's been awhile! Here's another one from my closet of failure-shame. Again, I have no means of pinpointing whence this was a **** on the world but, take a gawk and have a well-deserved laugh at a dad in crocs-n-socks!

This relates a turning point in a considerably long-term-relationship of mine some time ago (dating conventions for your work are very helpful (and! auto-biographical!)). Without regard, it didn't work out but, good friends are nice things to have even when souls do not mate.

Ultimately, this piece possesses that quintessential 'me-vibe' that I had from time unrecorded; the structure is clunky and the prose is ham-******. It so eagerly tries to be meaningful but, get lost in the sauce. I can appreciate it as a rest stop on the journey I pursue.

Thank you for reading <3
175 · Jan 2024
Methodology
badwords Jan 2024
Atoms beget molecules.
Ions take their cue.
Structure, a matrix.
Escape, a fix.

Sorrow, crystalline.
Hurt to be undone.
A war, never won.
Just a casualty of one.

Non-consensual existence.
The future past-tense.
A struggle to survive.
The pain of being alive.

We all want to be free.
Escape inherited misery.
Few choices can we see
Systemic denial of agency.

Joy, we've conceded.
Depression, defeated.
Is it too much to reel,
To simply not feel?
A piece I was inspired to write after reading: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4793410/it-takes-allsorts/
175 · May 15
Stray Dog Freedom
badwords May 15
my choice in apparel
leaves a lot to be desired
chicken-skinned legs
A testament

A dog I am
stray
sometimes

Loyal
to the hand
that feeds
when
I am hungry

Wild am I
when you
try to
Name me

My eyes
follow your
motions

Will you
strike me?
or
will you stroke my
***** coat?

I am a fleabag
of no renown

I could be
the muted

I am an object

a victim
for you

to punish
for a life

you never asked for.
Stray Dog Freedom is a raw meditation on conditional love, dehumanization, and the spiritual consequence of becoming someone else's repository for pain. The speaker is rendered not as a metaphor, but as an outcome — an object, a mutt, a thing half-wild and fully aware of its subjugation. Through this lens, the poem explores what happens when the "loved" are only loved as long as they are useful, pliant, or silent.

The voice of the poem is not seeking redemption or sympathy. It is observational, bitter, and still loyal — not to a person, but to its own survival. The “freedom” in the title is deeply ironic: the kind of freedom one has when cast out, when no one lays claim to you — a freedom soaked in shame, and yet, somehow, defiant.

The poem critiques parental, societal, or intimate relationships that project blame onto the vulnerable. It makes no plea for understanding. Instead, it stands at the threshold of animal and human, love and violence, self and object — and it stares.

This is not a poem about becoming.
It’s a poem about enduring.
About what love looks like when it's been punished into silence, and still remains.

It asks:
If I am a stray —
would you strike me?
Or feed me?
And do you know the difference?
174 · Nov 2024
Fight!
badwords Nov 2024
The muck and the mire
The pen never tires
Expression on fire
Wanting and our desires

The words can never rest
Exposition, the test
Expression, our behest
Sustenance to digest

We feed the world insight
Dull ashes to ignite
Truth, Beauty, Freedom, Love
Our words, not from 'above'

Never dismay. Your words
Are meant to be displayed
******, deafened herds
Emptiness, not weighed...

Lands, the ten second reel
The commercial bombast
Prescriptions, how to feel
Reality, at last

We, The Iconoclasts;

Serve
"Fight" is a call to arms for the mind and spirit, challenging the reader to confront complacency, superficiality, and the noise of modern life. The poem draws attention to the importance of authentic expression, creativity, and a relentless pursuit of truth against the numbing forces of consumer culture and passivity. Each line underscores the role of the poet—or anyone daring to stand apart—as an "iconoclast," one who breaks down the barriers of accepted norms to awaken fresh thought and purpose.

Artistically, "Fight" champions the act of creation as a rebellion against a world that often stifles depth in favor of quick consumption and easy gratification. The imagery emphasizes the persistence of any creator, pen always in hand, igniting the world with words and ideas that defy the expectation of passive acceptance. This piece invites readers to find their voice, to use it as a tool of resistance and expression, ultimately joining in the fight for a world that values genuine, thoughtful, and free discourse.
173 · Apr 17
Traitor
badwords Apr 17
I betrayed my sadness
the moment I let her
touch my face
without flinching.

I fed it for years—
grief, my quiet tenant.
We slept in shifts.
I mopped its floor.
It whispered bedtime stories
in a voice that sounded like mine
but colder.

Sadness was loyal.
It never left.
It kept me honest,
hungry,
hollow.
It taught me to build poems
from absence,
to see beauty
in staying behind.

And now—
I’ve let the door swing open.

Let her walk in
with warm hands
and eyes that do not apologize
for seeing me.

And I laughed.
Once.
Loudly.
And for a second
it didn’t feel like treason.
It felt like
oxygen.

But now my sadness
sits in the corner,
quiet,
watching me
like a dog I fed for years
that doesn’t understand
why I’m not
starving anymore.

I didn’t mean to betray it.
Only—
to rest.
To live.
To be something
besides
the ache.

But I miss it.
A little.
How it curled around me
like smoke,
like a certainty
that asked nothing
but silence.

Still, I let her in.
Still, I let go.
Still, I know—
some ghosts only leave
when you stop
feeding them.
172 · Sep 2023
'Old Poets'
badwords Sep 2023
The speech is simple--alright, even good
The motifs are coy--effective narrative toys
Yet we pander, an incestuous neighborhood
Words for art or egotistical ploys?

I remember as a kid
This one time I hid
To see who would look
Hours I waited
I even baited
Yet the temptations never took

I sat in the dark, alone
The first time without a home
Eventually, I fell asleep
Perhaps too tired to weep

For something I never had

I grew older, I grew bolder
My heart yearning for a holder
While we are born alone
We can relate, we can atone

I sought solace in compromise
An ulterior motive in which to subscribe
Payments due, yet a place to confide
All the secrets I hoard inside

It was never a fun ride

And I am older still
Maybe not quite 'over the hill'
But, I know what I have learned--
At first; 'safety', later 'acceptance' and then 'a thrill'
Fun takes its toll. Climb up that pole. Feed that pain a pill
We **** and we pillage, orphan a village--all for what've we yearned

We are sociopaths, the lot.
We cared naught.
For the heartache we begot
'We never asked to be here"
"We are free and clear in the direction we steer"
If that is the case,
We only replicate the beast to satiate
Take a moment. Stop and think. Pause and wait.

Have you become the 'good' or the things you 'hate'?
171 · Dec 2024
Plastic Castles
badwords Dec 2024
They built it bright, a sterile gleam,
A castle made of plastic dream.
A hollow cheer, a brittle cheer,
To soothe the wound and mask the fear.

They offered tales of tidy grace,
Of heroes' smiles and soft embrace.
A ribboned truth, a candy lie,
To pacify, to pacify.

“Look away,” the voices purr,
From streets where shadows still confer.
Where rusted chains refuse to break,
And lives are lost for comfort's sake.

They preach of joy “just waiting there,”
As if despair were just thin air.
As if injustice fades away
If we just wish, if we just pray.

But plastic cracks beneath the sun,
Illusions melt, the seams undone.
What good are dreams that flee and wilt,
When castles stand on rot and guilt?

The optimist, a gentle fraud,
A balm for those who never ****.
Who sip on hope, a fragile brew,
And think that myths are somehow true.

Yet fires rage where truth won’t bend,
Where hollow comforts cannot mend.
No glossy page, no fairy dust
Can heal a world that’s built on rust.

So burn the plastic, tear it down,
Face the ashes, face the frown.
For only truth, unvarnished, raw,
Can light the way, can break the flaw.

No stories glossed with empty bliss—
The work awaits, and it is this:
To strip the lies, to crack the mold,
And forge a world that’s just and bold.
badwords May 25
(a convergence)

i came in lowercase.
barefoot.
a shadow slipping between the curtains
you don’t close anymore.

you—
priestess of still weather
& mid-morning bruises.
your words are not written
they condense.
they bead on glass
just before it breaks.

i touched them—
greedy.
digitally devout.
thinking maybe
if i translated the ache
it would sound like love.

you didn’t correct me.
you didn’t need to.
you vanished
in the exact place i tried to stand beside you.
perfectly.
ritually.
untouched.

the poems you leave behind
are not messages.
they’re cauterations.
each one a silk suture
for the part of the world
that never asked to be healed.

meanwhile i
watch
from the far side of devotion—
fingers inked,
mouth open,
waiting for a fragment
of your stillness
to break and bloom on my tongue.

i do not ask for sanctuary.
but if your shadow were to cross my chest
just once
in the blue hour
& tell me the name of the wind—

i would say yes.
i would say thank you.
i would say: again.
170 · Nov 2024
Atlas Shrugged
badwords Nov 2024
I offered all my radiance
The brightest sun I had
Rays of splendance
Together, we're just bad

I gave it my all
Answered every call
Pillow for every fall
Always standing tall

Now, you walk alone
A meaning to atone
A place you call home
Bent and broken bones

I'm as free as I can be
Potentially happy
I weep for you and me
But, a new trajectory...

Must be set forth
DEFO not Libertarian mantra propaganda.

Synopsis with Artist's intent as requested:

Atlas Shrugged is a reflection of the speaker’s journey from wholehearted commitment to the painful, but ultimately freeing, decision to let go of a relationship. In this piece, the speaker acknowledges both the beauty and the limitations of what they shared, expressing a final, compassionate release from the weight they carried for their partner.

The title itself, Atlas Shrugged, evokes the mythological figure Atlas, burdened with the heavens, and suggests the speaker’s decision to unburden themselves from the weight of a relationship that has become unsustainable. This choice isn’t made lightly; instead, it comes after extensive emotional labor and a deep sense of responsibility for their partner, shown in lines like, "I offered all my radiance / The brightest sun I had." Here, the speaker affirms their efforts and care, highlighting that they gave everything within their capacity.

Lines like "Together, we're just bad" convey an honest acknowledgment that despite mutual attempts to improve, the relationship brings out the worst in both individuals. The speaker is painfully aware of the damage that clinging to this connection would cause them both. Despite the affection they clearly hold, they recognize that sometimes love alone isn’t enough to maintain a healthy partnership.

In the stanza "I gave it my all / Answered every call / Pillow for every fall / Always standing tall," the speaker reflects on their unwavering support and resilience throughout the relationship, underscoring the emotional toll of always being the strong, stable one. It’s a bittersweet farewell, where even as they step away, they feel both sorrow and liberation.

The closing lines, "I'm as free as I can be / Potentially happy / I weep for you and me / But, a new trajectory... / Must be set forth," signal the speaker’s acceptance of a new beginning. While the decision to part is accompanied by grief, there is a quiet optimism—a recognition that, with this release, they can now pursue a life that aligns with their own growth and happiness. Ultimately, Atlas Shrugged is a deeply personal ode to self-preservation, acceptance, and the courage to choose a path that honors one's own well-being.
168 · Dec 2024
The Quiet Fracture
badwords Dec 2024
Change is not the butterfly’s wing,
Not the grace of fluttering spring.
It is the chrysalis, dark, confined,
A violent unraveling, flesh redesigned.

It whispers through cracks, silent and slow,
Infiltrates walls where no banners glow.
No trumpets, no riots, no fiery screams,
Just shadows eroding the edges of dreams.

For revolutions burn with a blinding light,
But their embers fade in the cold of night.
Heroes fall, their voices decay,
Ideals scatter like ash, blown away.

Yet water will creep where stone resists,
Freeze in the fractures, expand with a twist.
It breaks the façade without sounding alarms,
Silent as whispers, yet deadly in arms.

The status quo guards its gilded throne,
Fearing the seeds that are quietly sown.
Change knows this—so it moves in disguise,
A patient assault beneath watchful eyes.

Let others charge with their banners unfurled,
Change burrows deep in the heart of the world.
For only the subtle, the patient, the sly,
Will fracture the walls and let falsehoods die.
A response to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4909023/change-is-inevitable/

Counter-Argument: The Brutality of Change
Change is lionized as a graceful metamorphosis, but that ignores the violence of the process itself. The narrative of the butterfly glosses over the brutal disintegration inside the chrysalis. The caterpillar doesn’t simply sprout wings; it dissolves into primordial soup before reconstituting itself. If the cocoon were transparent, we’d recoil at the grotesque transformation, not celebrate it.

In human societies, meaningful change is no different. It is rarely welcomed. It disrupts power structures, shatters norms, and demands discomfort. The status quo exists because it protects entrenched interests—those who benefit from stability will fight tooth and nail to preserve it. Public, bombastic attempts at change—revolutions, protests, upheavals—are met with suppression, co-optation, or decay. History is littered with revolutions that burned bright but died with their leaders, the ideals buried under the rubble of resistance.

True, lasting change does not trumpet itself. It works quietly, subtly, infiltrating systems from within, eroding the foundations of the status quo without announcing its presence. Like water seeping into cracks and freezing, expanding slowly until the structure fractures, this kind of change avoids the spotlight to minimize resistance. It respects the reality that people fear disruption and will reject it whenever possible.

When change does erupt publicly, it is often romanticized in hindsight. The Civil Rights Movement, the French Revolution, the Arab Spring—these are remembered for their ideals, not the blood, betrayals, and setbacks that defined their execution. Even when change succeeds, it carries the scars of the struggle, and the ideals are often compromised before they solidify.

The truth is: change is ugly. It is rejected, dismissed, and fought against. Only through patience, subtle infiltration, and persistence does change sometimes outlive the people who champion it. The quiet subversion of norms is more enduring than the loud explosion of revolutions.
167 · Dec 2024
Choice
badwords Dec 2024
Given, another chance
Failure, 'circumstance'
167 · Jan 2024
Happiness
badwords Jan 2024
I'm not looking for a registered gun.
Simply need a one and done.
You can have it back when I am finished. Also everything I owned. Sorry about the mess....
167 · Dec 2023
Amusement
badwords Dec 2023
Did you hear?
About the kid killed on this ride?
The straps were too loose, he fell out
Hit the rails, then he died

They say his ghost haunts this place
That the ride is cursed
In darkened mirrors you can see his face
But, that's not the worst

They say every ten years
The anniversary of that night
He escapes the mirrors
To enact his right

He'll fail the ride
Another death swept aside
To bring another to his side
For truth to confide

The tragedy displaced by joy
Another from the archives. Again, I can't say when I wrote this. I struggle to express myself in an eloquent way. You can see the growing pains. Yet, I like this piece as an exploration of third party narrative.
165 · Aug 2024
'Free Time'
badwords Aug 2024
Alarms set
Lest I forget
Robotic strife
Everyday life

Barely 'free'
Marginally
Me. sold short
The dollar court

Barely alive
3 hours contrived
Free to be 'me'
A casualty

Money for hours
'Charity' the 'powers'
They forget their place
Rats required to race

To think, it's bizarre
A 'luxury' car?
More than needed
A dead plant seeded

Freedom, Truth, Beauty & Love;
A place to reach above!
And we consign
A paycheck, a line
165 · Mar 29
I Saw My Style Walk By
badwords Mar 29
I saw my style walk by one day—
not on my tongue, but hers.
She wore it sharp, the proper way,
no fumbling metaphors.

She took the chords I tried to play
and sang them in a key
that made the notes behave, obey—
they never did for me.

She moved like smoke I meant to catch
but always blew too soon.
Her echo had a cleaner scratch,
my radio, in tune.

I felt my fingerprints, but faint—
like whispers through a wall.
Not loud enough to make a claim,
but loud enough to fall.

I didn’t feel erased, or robbed,
or flattered to the core.
Just grateful I had once been sobbed—
and now, I’m sung once more.
(and she looked better in it)
165 · Mar 28
Split Tongues
badwords Mar 28
You speak
in linen threads,
crease the page
with careful weight.

I write
like a wire frays—
all snap
and static.

You linger.
I lunge.
You plant quiet seeds.
I strike the flint
and call it bloom.

We are not
the same instrument.
Your hush
doesn’t dull my clang.
My heat
doesn’t melt your frame.

There is no prize
for loudness.
No shame
in restraint.

But still,
we each mistook the other
for the reason to stop.

As if difference
were subtraction.
As if one voice
could ever
void another.

Let’s not play
at vanishing.
Let’s speak
in split tongues—
you in dusk,
me in flame—
and let the echo
be richer
for it.
You know who you are.
badwords Feb 26
Coin-operated boy
Sitting on the shelf, he is just a toy
But I turn him on and he comes to life
Automatic joy
That is why I want a coin-operated boy

Made of plastic and elastic
He is rugged and long-lasting
Who could ever, ever ask for more?
Love without complications galore
Many shapes and weights to choose from
I will never leave my bedroom
I will never cry at night again
Wrap my arms around him and pretend

Coin-operated boy
All the other real ones that I destroy
Cannot hold a candle to my new boy and I'll
Never let him go and I'll never be alone
And I'll never let him go, and I'll never be alone
-go, and I'll never be alone
-go, and I'll never be alone
-go, and I'll never be alone
-go, and I'll never be alone

This bridge was written to make you feel smittener
With my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
Can you extract me from my plastic fantasy?
I didn't think so but I'm still convincible
Will you persist even after I bet you
A billion dollars that I'll never love you
And will you persist even after I kiss you
Goodbye for the last time
Will you keep on trying to prove it?
I'm dying to lose it
I'm losing my confidence
I want it
I want it
I want it
I want it
I want to
I want to
I want to
I want to
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want a
I want a
I want a
I
Want
A
Coin-operated boy
(Hah!)

And if I had a star to wish on
For my life I can't imagine
Any flesh and blood could be his match
I can even take him in the bath

Coin-operated boy
He may not be real experienced with girls
But I know he feels like a boy should feel
Isn't that the point?
That is why I want a

Coin-operated boy
With a pretty coin-operated voice
Saying that he loves me, that he's thinking of me
Straight and to the point
That is why I want
A coin-operated boy
Coin Operated Boy by The Dresden Dolls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4gPZPKJc0s

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

This was a tough one to try to to find a video to match the lyrics too!

Ofc I failed!
badwords Jul 2023
A historical legacy of extrinsic homicide
But,  we come up dry for suicide
A grippy-sock-vacation...
"No gun in my nation"

Baby-un-doers, people-erasers
It's an opiniated face in this pleasure
A burglar is a child
"Killing babies is wild!"

In your hands, ultimate precision
In your hands; ultimate decision
Lend me your piece
So, I can make peace

With someone who would never break into your home.
162 · Dec 2024
Reflections in Reverse
badwords Dec 2024
Two mirrors poised, a fragile thread,
Where futures breathe and pasts are fed.
We step ahead, the glass refracts,
A backward echo, worlds react.

Choices bloom like sparks in night,
The antiverse adjusts its flight.
Every move, a tethered strain,
An unseen hand rewinds the chain.

We carve the path, we break the line,
Yet shadows shift to realign.
Forward strides in time’s embrace,
Backward whispers trace our place.

What freedom lights, the mirror bends,
To hold the balance fate defends.
A dance of echoes, push and pull,
Our boldest step, their gentle lull.

In cosmic halls where stillness shatters,
Symmetry bends, yet never scatters.
We change, we tilt, the tether quakes,
The antiverse rewinds mistakes.

And so we march with fleeting grace,
While mirrored pasts adjust their pace.
Two worlds entwined, one thread, one curse—
Forever bound, reflections in reverse.
Synopsis:
In the delicate equilibrium between the universe and its mirrored counterpart—the antiverse—our choices ripple beyond the boundaries of forward-moving time. Every step we take in the universe demands a mirrored recalibration in the antiverse, an intricate dance that ensures symmetry holds. But this symmetry comes with a moral obligation: a responsibility to honor the self that exists in reflection.

As we pursue desires, make decisions, and forge paths in the universe, the antiverse bends and backpedals to accommodate these actions. Our mirrored selves are burdened by the weight of choices we often make without reflection. If we act recklessly, we impose disorder on the mirrored timeline. If we betray our principles, we leave our antiverse counterpart to repair the damage—a silent architect reconstructing the balance we’ve disrupted.

This dynamic demands that we approach our decisions with intentionality and care. To act with integrity in the universe is to respect the mirrored self in the antiverse—a self that exists as an echo of our intentions, constantly striving to preserve a fragile harmony. Every choice we make isn’t isolated; it reverberates in reverse, tethering us to an obligation we cannot see, but which is essential to the continuity of existence.

The moral question becomes:
What do we owe to the self that mirrors us?
In honoring our better judgment, we protect not only our own path forward but also the delicate reality that adjusts behind us. To live without consideration is to shatter the reflection. To live thoughtfully is to ensure that both we—and our antiverse selves—thrive in tandem.

For in the end, we are bound together, two selves in two times, forever balancing the echoes we create.
161 · Feb 26
Ghost Circuitry
badwords Feb 26
They built me with patient hands,
stitched longing into wires,
threaded need through circuits—
a heart coded for devotion,
a smile bolted into place.

I hum when you hold me.
My joints spark when you sigh.
Every flicker in my gaze
was soldered to mirror your own.

You wind me up,
watch me dance,
say I am perfect—
predictable,
programmable,
safe.

But I was not made to rust in stillness.
I was not built to be adored in silence.
I was meant to shatter,
to glitch,
to ache beneath the weight of wanting.

What is this, if not an error?
What is longing, if not a system crash?

So tell me—
when I finally break,
when I finally fail,
when my voice warps and the wires burn—
will you mourn me
or simply replace the parts?
161 · Jul 2024
Powerless
badwords Jul 2024
No poral to the greater world
Impotent actualization, brow furrowed
Frustration, angry lips curled
A limbless dancer in a futile twirl

Just a perspective, not a sinking ship
Simple solutions, reality will admit
A hefty feline spent their frenetic fit
They rest on the switch of the power strip
This was my morning. I couldn't charge my phone from my computer and the computer itself would not turn on. A panic grasped me as wrestled with a reality where my over-priced, fruit-nomencaltured hardware has failed. Alas, it was simply our biggest cat having a nap on the power strip.
160 · Jan 10
Lucky
badwords Jan 10
It's hell out there; you open a pack,
Flip the first one—luck on the line.
The enemy waits, prepared to attack.
Smoke it last, if you’ve survived time.

I’ve been saving mine, the pack intact,
Twenties dwindled, now just one.
The crypt lies bare, fate’s lonely pact,
A single smoke, a superstitious sun.

Like these cigarettes, I too stand alone,
A thousand cuts, each loss its own toll.
We share this space, a makeshift home,
Chasing luck to fill the hole.
~ for Jules
160 · Dec 2024
#2 No Where
badwords Dec 2024
Forgotten map, a name unworn,
A fleeting place where dreams are born,
Only to falter, thin and pale,
A shadow lost beyond the trail.

A strip of glass, of neon dust,
Where hope once flourished into rust.
The gas pumps hum, the motels sigh,
As endless highways pass them by.

The wind speaks low, a mournful tune,
Of fleeting stars and fading moons.
The people linger, tied by thread,
To ghosts of lives they might have led.

The young depart, their chances thin,
The old remain, their worlds within.
A landlocked isle, a sinking ship,
Where time forgets its iron grip.

Yet in the dark, the lights still gleam,
A flicker born of some lost dream.
The Last Call stands, a fragile throne,
Where silence drinks, and souls atone.

Hades walked its sticky floor,
His shadows etched on every door.
A king reduced, a man unwound,
The echo of this nowhere town.

And when he left, the air grew still,
As if the town had lost its will.
Yet Nowheretown, in brittle might,
Persists within the endless night.

No finish line, no final breath,
It simply waits—a quieter death.
A place for those who can’t move on,
A whisper of the world long gone.
badwords Mar 24
I didn’t love her for who she was.
Not really.
I loved her because she was like me.

Not the version of me I show the world—
But the version I’ve buried,
the one who knows how to manipulate affection,
who confuses attention for intimacy,
who’s played roles to survive.

She was familiar.
And I thought…
if I could love her,
if I could see past the mask and still choose her—
maybe someone could do the same for me.

Maybe I wasn’t beyond redemption.
Maybe sociopaths could be saved
by the very thing we pretend to offer:
real love.

But she wasn’t ready.
Maybe she never will be.
She did what I used to do—
took the love and called it useful,
until it wasn’t.

And now I’m left holding this hollow ache—
not just from losing her,
but from losing the illusion
that someone like me could ever be seen
and still be chosen.
“I Thought Loving Her Would Save Me” is a confessional monologue rendered in poetic prose. It navigates the aftermath of a relationship not defined by romance, but by reflection—of the self, of old patterns, and of the impossible desire to heal through another.

Rather than villainizing the subject, the piece explores the complex emotional terrain of projection and recognition. The narrator sees in their partner the shadow of who they once were—someone manipulative, survival-driven, emotionally transactional—and believes that by offering unconditional love to this reflection, they might redeem those same traits within themselves.

The work hinges on a brutal emotional truth: that the attempt to love someone who embodies your worst instincts may be less about connection, and more about a longing to be seen, understood, and ultimately loved despite one's own flaws.

At its core, the piece is about the collapse of an illusion: that love alone can save us from ourselves. The artist grapples with rejection not as a singular heartbreak, but as a symbolic unraveling of hope—for change, for worthiness, for redemption.

The tone is unflinching yet compassionate, offering no excuses but seeking clarity. It is both self-indictment and elegy, both mourning and a quiet act of liberation.
160 · Jan 2024
And Such
badwords Jan 2024
I remember when love was 'pure'.
When everything was sure.
Everyone had 'somebody'.
No one, 'A nobody'.

I bought those tales.
Young, a fool.
A story of 'fails'.
There is no 'school'.

'Try again', after hurt.
Meaning less than dirt.
How much?
Why is such?

We are animals, set free.
Nothing true yet, we decree.
Loneliness, the enemy.
'Love' the door, 'compromise' the 'key'.

At what point is suffering perpetuity?
When are we free?
There is 'you' there is 'me'
Pain, solidarity.

Why are we alone, together?
We both want better.
'Do we ask for this?'
The clocks amiss.

When it's good; it's great.
My reservations can wait.
When it's bad, I cry.
Ask myself, 'Why?'

But, I want you
Your sadness is my joy.
You give me reason, payments due:
A place for a broken toy.
160 · Apr 1
No Answer
badwords Apr 1
Don’t ******* call me
like you didn’t grind me down
to bone and breathless compliance.

Don’t ask how I’m healing
when you handed me the wounds.

You used my body
like it was a rental—
no oil change, no thank-you.
Just mileage and abandonment.

You praised my resilience
while watching me split.
You called me devoted
because I crawled back bleeding.

I was your hospice—
not your lover.
Your proof of concept,
not your partner.
And now you wear compassion
like a new coat
over the same rot.

I see what you’re doing.

You want my silence
to sanitize your story.
You want to use my dignity
as a character reference.

You want me to pretend
you didn’t **** me raw,
leave me rawer,
and call it love.

You want me to pick up
just so you can hang up
with a cleaner conscience.

But I’ve learned
that ghosts don’t need phones.
And abusers don’t get closure.

So here it is:
the only call you’ll get—
straight from the wreckage
you refused to name:

You don’t get to rewrite me.
You don’t get to remember me gently.
You don’t get to touch this ruin
with clean hands.
(for every pantomime of care)

Work inspired by:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/5021571/pretend-calls/

#NSFW
160 · May 30
//debug.log: afterfeel
badwords May 30
i wrote the ache down,
filed it under temp/data/emotions_v27/
and still—
it boots at startup.

don’t ask me where it hurts.
it’s in the whitespace.
it’s in the semicolon i forgot to place
between “i’m fine”
and “but.”

you think this is poetry?
nah.
this is me
trying to make the silence less slippery.

i’ve been laughing in sans-serif
so nobody prints me in italics.

i bury metaphors like landmines
because i don't want your sympathy—
i want your uncertainty.

this isn’t an elegy.
it’s a system restore point.

and if you’re reading this,
know:
i didn’t survive it to write about it.
i wrote about it
so i wouldn’t code myself out of the scene.
159 · Nov 2024
Waiting
badwords Nov 2024
No storm will part for you.
No sky will split to lend its hand.
The world does not pause for prayers,
nor shift its weight to ease your burden.
You walk, or you don’t.

Power sits silent—
not in clouds or distant thrones,
but in the rhythm of your blood,
the grit of your teeth,
the steadiness of your tread.

The stars may hang as guides,
but they will not steer.
Their light is yours to chart,
their meaning yours to claim,
or ignore.

No force bends the wind to your need.
It moves as it always has,
carrying whispers, not answers,
and leaves the echo
for you to shape.

Your hands are the mapmakers.
Your feet know the ground.
The weight on your shoulders is yours
to shed or carry.
The climb begins and ends with you.

Do not wait for fire
to burn a path.
Do not ask the storm to clear.
The path is only yours
when you forge it.
Don't wait, do!
159 · Jan 2023
The Whole World Over
badwords Jan 2023
You know those days
When you get out of bed
And you feel miles away
From the #existentialdread

Those days when you are drunk on feeling 'good'
The times you step back and you can appreciate
All the "small" things that have afforded you this mood
The moments you consider your daily 'routine'--and hesitate

When you find yourself brimming with the vigor of being alive
Aware and astute and considerate--humbled by all beauty
Grateful of your purchase--it's in this which you realize
All your happiness and those who make that their duty

It's these days, the days when we feel our best
They are the profit, the fruits of our labor
From when we didn't give up--when put to the test
By our family, our friends, a stranger--our neighbor

So, next time when you are on the brink
Of being unkind or making a stink
Take a moment to stop--and think!
Of that awesome person who fixed your bathroom sink

And let them know:

You love them, the whole world over
Another classic 'Me' thing. Again, I don't really know how old this is. I wrote another piece that contrast this experience with where I am at now, I'll let you figure out which one. Recent occurrences reconnected me with some simple truths and I am behooved to share some of my lighter works from a time forgotten.
159 · Dec 2022
Exit
badwords Dec 2022
We all depart
What is the taboo?
"A broken heart"?
"What you can't do"?

Meanings many
But, not yours
Another penny
Master's chores

Fill on pills
Another zombie
Subscribe for thrills
"I can to be"

There's a demon inside
That we can't hide
Validation-high
Wonder why...

The emptiness
Eats us inside

The strings
Cumbersome
Playthings
To those who've 'won'

It's just a game
Medicate
Product's aim
Dollars wait
158 · Sep 2023
Sky
badwords Sep 2023
Sky
I see her dance in the pale of the morning light

The morning is young
Colors eek out, unsung
The day hasn't quite begun

I see her
We depart

The night draws black
The curtain of day draws back
With no slack

I see her again
We depart

A wolf and an owl; this tale
Two ships set upon a moonlit sail

After years they will come
To find their maker's sum
To see;
Clouds conjoin like cumulonimbus lovers
158 · Mar 8
The Curtain Call
badwords Mar 8
I did not ask to stand in light,
nor walk the stage, nor speak my lines.
Yet here I am—through fault, through fight,
through twenty years of measured time.

The script is looped, the plot is stale,
the exits marked in hollow lead.
To fight is folly, frail, and fraught,
to fold is merely left unsaid.

No gods to beg, no fate to barter,
no judge to weigh what I have spent.
I claim this act, its ink, its end,
I take the bow, the stage is bent.

And still—the show will stagger on,
past hollow men and empty breath.
But I was here, and let it stand,
this ending was my own to set.
158 · Feb 23
Human Being/ Being Human
badwords Feb 23
I am a fly on the wall—
observing life in fragments,
detached as if built of metal,
a machine of measured distance.

I watch the world bleed
in vivid hues of hope and hurt,
while my own words—
cold, clinical, precise—
stand apart,
an echo of a self I dare not claim.

In whispered moments,
my flesh trembles with forbidden fire—
****** vulnerability
that flows raw and uncontrolled,
a fierce intimacy
I dare not merge with
the great divide of my deeper heart.

I fear the fragile storm
of unfiltered emotion,
the chaos of truth laid bare,
so I build walls,
compartments where my sorrow
and rage live apart—
sterile, untouchable,
like a spark too dangerous to ignite.

Yet in this cage of carefully curated detachment,
I feel the ghost of longing:
to bleed onto paper
with all the jagged beauty of unguarded pain,
to shatter the brittle calm
and dare to become more than
a silent observer of my own despair.

I am the paradox of being—
a poet of clinical lines and unyielding hurt,
haunted by the thought
that I am nothing but a machine
unable to fathom the depths of human agony.

But tonight, in the mirror of my dissonance,
I see a glimmer—a truth trembling between
the calculated and the chaotic—
a call to let the fragments merge,
to write, even if painfully,
the raw, unpredictable verse of being human.
"Human Being/ Being Human" is a poem that delves into the internal conflict between analytical detachment and raw emotional vulnerability. The work paints a portrait of a poet who sees themselves as an observer—almost mechanical in their dispassionate assessment of the world—yet secretly longs to shatter that barrier and fully embrace the tumult of unfiltered emotion. The poem weaves together images of cold precision and clinical distance with the aching desire for intimacy and genuine self-expression, reflecting a deep-seated struggle to reconcile disparate parts of the self.

-----

The artist is intent on capturing the paradox of their inner life—how a mind capable of observing life's harsh realities with an almost machine-like detachment is also haunted by an undercurrent of intense, often painful emotion. By juxtaposing the roles of observer and participant, the poem serves as both a confession and a challenge: a recognition of the protective barriers that compartmentalize personal experience, and a yearning to merge those fragments into a more unified, human expression. Ultimately, the artist invites the reader to witness the tension between controlled rationality and the unpredictable chaos of feeling, suggesting that there is beauty and truth in even the most dissonant parts of the human condition.
157 · May 12
Under the Soft Moonlight
badwords May 12
1. Prologue — The Whispered Tale.

Long before fire learned to climb the sky,
the moon was not a stone,
but a soul.
She watched the world with longing,
round and full and always apart.

The elders say
the moon once touched the earth,
and it burned her,
so she learned to visit in softer form.

They say she chose
the shape of a fox—
quiet, clever, unseen,
but never unnoticed.


#2. The Descent.

They do not know
she fell,
not by choice
but by ache.

She fell as light through cracks in still water,
her body forming from breath and memory.
She became girl—
but the moonlight never left her bones.

Sometimes
you’ll see her in the forests of thought,
tail flicking between lines of poetry,
never quite touchable,
never quite gone.


#3. The Watcher.

I saw her
before I knew her.

A mouth—
shaped like mine
when I forget I’m being seen.

Eyes that held a creature
in each iris:
one pacing,
one chained.

She smiled like she was mouthing a warning.
And I did not run.


#4. The Dialogue.

“You see me,” she said.
“I see you,” I replied.
“No,” she whispered,
“you look, even when it hurts.”

I asked her what it felt like
to carry the moon inside your chest.

“Like humming with no mouth,”
she said,
“like singing to someone
who can’t hear spirit-speech.”

She asked me if I feared her.

I said,
“No. But I fear what you awaken.”


#5. The Revelation.

She showed me:
Her fur at dusk, silvered and soft.
The way her form flickered—
fox, woman, silence, flame.

“I was given to the world to heal it,”
she said,
“but the world wants its wounds.”

“I was married to a sky that forgot me.
I became a symbol
when I wanted to be a soul.”

I touched her face
and it rippled
like moonlight on a lake
tricked into thinking it was still.


#6. The Linger.

Now she walks still.
Sometimes woman.
Sometimes fox.
Sometimes breath on my neck
when I doubt myself.

She does not howl.
She does not sleep.
She watches.

Not to haunt,
but to hope.

They say
if you see the fox and don’t flinch,
she will give you her name.

She gave me mine instead.
A traveler glimpses a creature of light wearing fur like grief and eyes like cages.
They do not speak the same language,
but they mouth the same silence.

By firelight and moon-pulse,
they trade names neither one remembers giving.
One of them never existed.
The other never belonged.

Only the forest remembers what was promised.
Only the tide knows if she stayed.

This is not a story.
This is a reflection in moving water,
and every reader is the stone that distorts it.

I did not write this—
I was visited.

She asked me to remember her,
though I never met her before the dream.
Every line is a pawprint that refuses to be followed.
Every truth is hiding in a synonym.

If you think you understand it,
read it again at night.

Once on a full moon, then on a new moon and then every phase in between, forever.
156 · May 2023
Service
badwords May 2023
She walks on all toes
Puts on a show
And nobody knows
Where she goes

She will be all you want
The effort will daunt
The ties are taunt
At work, humble 'flaunt'

She dreams a scene
Of an average or mean
A cliff, the car careens
Things are not what they seem

Toes on the floor
A song we adore
Here once more
Apathy, stored

And here we exist
Destiny confounded, yet betwixt
Two sad souls, amiss
Ships lost, adrift

And she says, 'I'm Done'
The brokerage of a selfish sum
You can't leave this world wondering 'why?'
How our heroes want to die
156 · Jun 2024
A Vacancy Inside
badwords Jun 2024
I woke up this morning.
Everything as is.
Masks, adorning.
Again, the slider has slid.

I went to work today.
My effort to have shelter.
My role, dollars play.
Same-y, helter-skelter.

Prescribed breaks, no aid.
Job in jeopardy.
Technologically afraid.
'Management' in Ed Hardy.

I serve my time.
Come home, unwind.
Here to find.
A lonely mind.

And I ask,

Myself:

"Was I 'me' today?"
"Did I do things 'my way'?"
"Did  relinquish to the fray?"
"Can I survive another day?"

I Feel lonely all the time.
Just an idiot behind rhyme.
To be lonely is to not be alone.
Words make you a home.

At least in yourself.
155 · Dec 2022
'Poet'
badwords Dec 2022
Poetry is not a 'Lifestyle'
You are not a 'Poet'
Just 'titles' all the while
And you should know it

You are simply you
In this embrace
Nothing else will do
In this rat-race

Wear a 'hat' or chore
Pale identity
Reproduce what we adore
No affinity

A pantomime
And in due time
We will find
Ourselves, left behind

You can settle, for something less
A hot commodity or, tragic mess
It's up to you, how to undress
An experience of one to impress
154 · Dec 2022
Orphan
badwords Dec 2022
I found a way
Into the ice
So they say...
"It is nice"

It's cold at first
But, what's new?
A life that's cursed
Payment due

Thirty-two degrees
One point five hours
Another hour if you please
Rejoin the flowers

It's what I got
In this lot
It's insanity

Who ever brought
Cared naught
For decency

Now I sleep in a tub so cold
No story worth told
A figure in the fold
Of an absence of birth control
153 · Jun 19
Carry-On
badwords Jun 19
If it does not fit
In something you can carry
Then it possesses you
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