A thousand times you tell me
You can't keep your hands to yourself,
You have to feel the opposing shapes
That make you fit in.
You have to remind me
(Remind yourself)
That you belong,
That you'll never be alone.

Well I don't mind being alone.
And you can take all the promises you made
And shove them down your throat,
Take everything you promised me,
Take everything you said,
Drown it in your drain pipes
And learn the meaning of goodbye,
Instead of I told you so.

The velvet green forest ferns
tickle her slender pale ankles

The color grey
Was born to unify
With black or white
It does not ally
The place where
Light and shadow dwell
In harmony
The bridge linking
Ebony to Ivory
In grey yin and yang merge
Without release
Grey is the color of love and peace

there is no breath in my bones
Their crevices hollow with water
Their creaks silenced with snow
It sits in my knees
Low
Lost
Lackluster
It hides from the wind
(It forgets it is the wind)

A myocardial infarction, also known as a heart attack is caused by a blockage in one of the coronary arteries

Heartache is caused by ghosts swimming in your lungs
There is no breath left in me
I am
Never whole


There is no breath in my bones

He was born the year Babe hit 61,
Baptized by the Great Depression,
And confirmed in the South Pacific;
They jokingly called him the Million Dollar Baby.
No one knows why
Because he was one of millions who did what
Was right in a time when if they hadn't
Our world could have gone wrong.

And they expected not even a pat on the back for doing it.
They were beautiful.
He was beautiful, my dad.

He carried me even when I was old enough to walk
No complaints, no expectations beyond that I would
Do the same for mine.

I tried, but didn't do as well as he had done for me.

Now the Million Dollar Baby sits in a geri chair,
Cared for lovingly by his youngest girl.
Fading like his memory of who he was and what he did

But I will never forget.

Heaven will be lucky to get him,
I was luckier to have been his son.

When I look down
from a plane
and see the
foamy white
of day-clouds, &
imagine if
the birds can
hear me here,
I imagine this
thing
and another-
where you're
beneath these
patterns
and where I'm above
the sky
is there a sort
of way like a
cloud,
that I have no
perceived
beginning or an
ending?

Everyone thinks I'm happy
Thinks I'm always smiling
But I'm not
I frown
A lot
People don't get it
I don't think I have the ability to be happy
Without someone there
Someone to smile for
Someone to make me laugh
Someone to talk to
I feel sad
Most of the time
The saddest thoughts
Are thought
When I'm alone
When I have no one to smile for
No one to make me laugh
No one to talk to
I'm sad
When I'm not near people
I'm sad
I don't even know
Why
I try to be happy
Try to have the capacity
The ability
The motivation
To be happy on my own
But I can't
The smile feels fake
The laugh sounds pained
And I can't tell anyone about it
If I do
They'll see me differently
Like some...thing
They need to tiptoe around
Frightened
That the wrong thing will send me to tears
To be honest
That happens
I cry
Cry for no reason
Cry where no one is looking
Cry whilst hiding behind a computer screen
None of you know me
None of you could
None of you can look me in the eyes
You can't look me in my red tear worn eyes
With your post sob story pity ridden eyes
Eyes that make the pain worse
Eyes that bring me more tears
Eyes that I just can't stand
It's not that I'm not happy when I'm alone
It's that I can't be happy when I'm alone
Not only that
I take time to be able to smile again
If I spend too much time alone
Unhappy
Not smiling
I take a while
To smile for someone again
To laugh without it sounding pained
To talk without seeming depressed
I wish so desperately to be happy
Without anyone there
Be happy when I'm on my own
But I can't be happy when I'm alone