When you forgive someone, you give someone
The gift of full access to you
They can hurt you and they’ll know what you’ll do
You’ll shed mercy on what they should have never done
But their mind is set
On getting forgiveness instead of feeling regret  
But forgiveness itself is not disrespected
But an offer of this gift too soon should not be expected

I am not the popular charm you met
while scrolling through the pictures I regret
I may be with my friends and such
but when your friends are never there for you it doesn't mean much
We use each other to create masks
Where my alter ego basks-
The person who is beloved and carefree
I wish that was really me.
I see her everywhere I am not
In reality I'm her robot.
She knows that I don't give a care,
and when I want to be in her life and get to know her-
she says no. I get used to her beatings, but that I can't share
and if she needs another beautiful picture on Instagram,
I'll be there.

I’m asleep
You woke up
But you can’t find me
You look inside
I’m awake
Stone cold on the floor
Where’ve you been?
You said you’d come back
But it’s too late
The night is over
I hope you had fun

We are puppets in this show,
And nobody knows what lies below,
But everyone assumes they know what's above,
There lies the God of creation and love.
But how can I be sure he hasn't fell?
Well only continuing this miserable existence called time will tell

I wish I could quit
Stop getting lit
But nobody else is getting it
What is this addiction?
This addiction I feed into the most,
What is the host that flies coast to coast?
Well this addiction, it is sadness,
Not at all glamorous.
What did you expect?
Why did you care?
Why participate in rhymes that nobody will reply to?
Not even a little there and there.
I am so silly, but my conscience is aware of time.
Everything tics, waiting for me to find out who I really am.
A joke from which everything stems.
I just want to love and be kind.
But it seems others had something else in mind.
If I was brave enough,
I'd show you deep inside my soul,
but then you'd see you are covering a big hole.
Something I barely want uncovered,
But in time it may be discovered.
One of the deepest parts of me.
and one of the darkest, I decree.
A never ending pit that I posses
And how will I get rid of it? I obsess

He is a shadow from the trees
And I sleep with the birds and bees
He is the darkness of the moon
And my sunlight scatters in the ruins
I want to be asleep under the stars
But he wants to go to a bar
We are two people and none is better,
But I think I should stop wearing his sweater
We are very different,
Never satisfied.
He finds my taste repugnant,
And about this I have cried.
So much pain in only a few months,
We have different inner selves and different fronts
How long will it take me to cope
With the fact that our relationship has no hope?
I know that he is not the one,
Yet we still coexist with little fun.

Rain flowing down
As you sat beside me
But you were never around
Bullets brushed against me
You were the one and
I wasn’t ready
I hid from you
Couldn’t show you the truth
And now you’re gone and
I took the blame
You could never handle my pain
You were an angel
And I was a sinner
And we couldn’t be the forever winners
I’m gone and you’re free
Now you don’t have to sit beside me

Why don’t you leave me alone
I don’t want to go home
to you
I may not have another home
But I’ll find one
I can’t come back to the things you do
I don’t want to see
Any more marks all over me
You ask me for tree
But I’m not the one hiding
Go have fun with your drug
I’ll be waiting
Keep on fighting

Why do parents hit their sons and daughters?
Why do friends tell other friends secrets only for their trust to be broken?
Why do we pray when our wishes don’t come true?
Why do we say I love you and then leave?
Why do our actions not make any sense anymore?
Why does barely anyone feel injustice for these actions?
Where did security love and accountability go?
Where did human decency go?
Why don’t we even show human decency to our “best” friends?
Why do we act enthusiastic about acquaintances then bully them behind their back?
Why can’t we even find reason for these actions but continue?
Why is it so rare for someone to stand up to something that isn’t right?

Eyes are red
Itching all the time
I get asked have a smoked a cig
I say I’ve been crying
Wish I was instead
But at this point I’ve lost my mind
I forget how to live
I regress back to 5 years old
In a never ending tantrum
It was over whether or not I could have Oreos
But now it’s about the girl that rejected me and everybody knows
We were sweet together but she didn’t think I was worth coming out
So she pushed me aside and used our friendship for clout
And now we never see each other
We don’t talk anymore
And I just want it to be the way it was before