I'm looking forward to the future
while remaining excited in the present
using the past as a reminder
that everything should be cherished
because it might not last
and it might go past you
and you'll find yourself missing
and reminiscing
it's important to forgive
and let go of the things that burden you
don't punish yourself
by making another person
give you a feeling of resentment
dismiss it and be careful
because if you hold on to hate
you'll just relive it
in other forms and shapes
it will create
an acid like emotion
that deteriorates

it's funny how another friend changes situations
we used to be tight now he's the bread i'm the crum
drop it on the floor let it soak in the sun
rats come and nibble smell of urination

i've seen some foul **** in my life but this was the one
can't contain your jealousy let the evil coma come
never seen you make a face like that
you look so ****** dumb

i got no respect for you
you musta been drunk on ***
or blowin the coke out your nose
how long did it grow
your heart musta rotted
cuz it didnt even show

it's sickening how your money glistening
but your spirit ugly

i'm broker than ever but still happy in love
you couldn't take to see that so you smug
you just a jealous *** punk *******

i learn my lesson who my real friends are
it don't matter or not whether you drive fancy car
love unconditional no matter how successful you are
not get jealous when they see you as a happy rising star

I'm happy
now how long
can I stay
over at this house
today?
tomorrow
to do?
what is it
will I do?
with no money
no pay
nowhere to stay
what if it storms
what if it rains
what if I can never
break these chains
what if I'm in poverty
my whole life
and for that
I can't stay with a wife
she leaves
for a better man
to spread his seed
and raise their young
what if I never feel young
again
what if I'm bitter
and angry
what if I'm on the street
without anything to eat
what if I'm a failure
and I can't stand to see
the looks on people's faces
as they walk by
what if I never make it
as a poet
an artist
what if my work
is never seen
what if I'm never appreciated
for the pain that I bleed
what should I do
who can I trust
who can I help
who will be with me
until the end
the questions that run through my head
I focus for one second
and ignore them
and move forward
to the end
I'm going to make it
and happy thoughts
and striving for greatness
is what's going to pay it
the price for me
to be fulfilled
with more than just a
tiny piece of rice
I want to be great
and I'm going to make it

When you feel wronged you want to get back
You want to hurt
Tear em apart
do whatever you can do
to show that you won

who are you fighting?
is it you or is it them?

Why are they there?
In your life?

Is it time?
To move on?
To something else?

Is it time

to get help
from another source?

Is it time to draw near
to those
who care

I saw a change
I won't respond
to text messages
or feel like
I have to take part
in any further conversation

I feel like
maybe it's just time
to get past it
and move on
do something different
instead
of
talking about it
or dwelling on it
I want to be stronger
and the more that I think of it
the angrier I get

the more I want to fight
the more I want to hurt

but why waste time
hurting someone
why not
just disappear
not look at them
figure out how to handle it
when it comes
in the future
make sure I don't
give in
and be friends
again
because that's not fair
or right

with the way I was treated
the whole time

I may have paid rent late
but there's no right
to treat a friend that way
maybe money has a strain
on the relationship
but honestly
in all honesty
honestly

I feel like

the friendship
wasn't that strong
anyway

it's more talk
and talk

and this and that
I needed someone
and he was there
when no one else really was

besides family

so what does that say?

what does that mean?

I won't listen to him
or let him talk to me that way
wanting to fight me

coming at me
I have pain and hurt
from it
I shed a couple tears

got shaken up a bit
because I feel like

he needs someone in his life
but that's all
the same

I remember
when I was breaking up with a girl
I felt the same way
like I could help her
she'll miss me
I imagined them hurting for me

but if you just let it go
and let the smoke clear

and take time

restored friendship?

How?
How?

I feel so belittled
and disrespected

the things that happened
how you treat me
and my girl

how I couldn't have a couch on the porch
and I was never asked
if I wanted another dog

how I just felt low
and left alone

and abandoned

I think it'll take some time

I think it'll take a long time

if we are to be friends again

without having these things come up

I just don't see it

I definitely don't want it

I don't want that type of influence in my life

for god's sakes

we were closest
when we were doing *******
and molly
and ecstacy
together

are we even friends?
or are we enemies?
trying to **** each other
in the disguise of good

what's it to you?

i think you have to move

I think you have to move

on and on
on and on

we go

closer to the ones we trust

the ones that are there to help us

and no jealousy
or anything else
come between

let the smoke clear

I'm starting up a death wish
to express this
a whole list of ******* that I'd **** quick
if they didn't move
or get the **** out of my life
and stay the **** outta mine
before I cut your wife
and take her life too
and all the babies you grew
you little ****** *** phoney player hating
you must've been brought up wrong
and learned different than me
i don't like the way you say my name when you're talking about me
I can taste the resentment
and ******* sarcastic
beneath the smile
I see the *****
and the hate
the mistrust
don't get your face misplaced
don't make me go to the store
and register for a gun
just to run up in your house
and watch you scream and run
I don't need that
but trust me, when I wake up
I feel like that's all I breathe
and my heart deceives
and tells me that I'd love to see someone bleed
my enemies
don't even know me
and the truth about it is
they can *******
I used to be nice
I used to try to understand
but now a days
only so much *******
I can take as a grown man
before I explode
and back out and roll
over your body in my audi
my truck don't give no ***** neither
so either apologize or beat it
but either way
I'm gonna move on with my day
but just remember what I said before
I'm really sick and tired
of being played

Forget about it at all...forget it all...forget it all...forget it all...

jealousy
the worry
the anger
the jealousy
repeated

and now
it begins
to play
into your imagination

every time
you associate
your thoughts
with some person
doing some thing
you begin to see
the rage through
a new
prism

from 100 yards away
a girl talking to a guy
and jealousy strikes
once again

Man it's real good to be alive, and for that I say thank you and continue to strive. Sometimes days are like open eyes, and shut, I don't want to but, I gotta get out of bed and my eyes are blurry, I see nothing but red. The **** that I smoke gets up in my system and I'm not ever fed. I gotta get everything I can possibly get before I leave otherwise I'll feel like I wasn't ****. Understand that? Understand that? Yeah, for sure. That's what I'm trying to say. For real. For real. Understand.