Man it's real good to be alive, and for that I say thank you and continue to strive. Sometimes days are like open eyes, and shut, I don't want to but, I gotta get out of bed and my eyes are blurry, I see nothing but red. The **** that I smoke gets up in my system and I'm not ever fed. I gotta get everything I can possibly get before I leave otherwise I'll feel like I wasn't ****. Understand that? Understand that? Yeah, for sure. That's what I'm trying to say. For real. For real. Understand.

It can be claimed
that your parting gift
was the motivation
for my success
and the heart you stained
or my slitting wrist
was the reason I made it
this far

it can be claimed that you helped
by making me jealous
only to motivate me
to do better

you can claim that i needed to be away from you
because i had work to do

you can make this all seem like
we never had a fight
and everything has always been cool
between us

you can claim you never did wrong
and it was all my fault

you can claim that i didn't hurt you
and made you think a different way
you'll just say
that you had complete control
the whole time
and everything was fine

you can claim the reason for my success
and you'd be right
only part of the time
because most of it
was without you

endless nights
of working late
and making sacrifices
you couldn't dream to make

you can't claim that at all
that belongs to me
when you sold your share
I walked away free
and for that, my success
I can claim

sometimes i want to laugh and cry at the same time
usually happens when i'm a little high
what i did to get a little by
when time flies
or slows
i end up in a back yard
with somethin rolled
it's twisted
like the weeds
i just like to get high
at first it's a rush
then it subsides
i find myself in a world
that no one but me can see
satisfied and nourished
i'm free

Don't listen to anything anyone ever tells you and don't even listen to the news, or the radio, or the cat, or the dog, or your lover or mother or father or girlfriend or boyfriend, don't listen to them neither.

They ain't got **** else to feed ya, but other peoples beliefs and ideas. They just learned them and applied them, and now it's your turn to try them. But don't listen to them neither.

They can't tell you not to smoke ****** or have a beer, whether or not you're queer or what's weird, it's up to you to decide what you do, and that's the truth.

I'd rather not say or get into specifics, the ocean is big and words are as wide as the pacific, I'm just saying to be prolific, and you shouldn't even listen to me neither. I'm just here.

So I'm trying to express my thoughts and be clear, but you really don't need that either. One thing about life, just be there.

Whatever analogy you make of it, stairs, journey, game, free ride, struggle, we're these tiny people trapped in a bubble, there's rubble, and trouble, people that won't like you, and others.

People who won't care or will, people who believe in control and those free will. But still. You can't listen to them neither.

There's only one place it starts and that comes from your heart, it's trying to tell you something. Have you been listening?

It's what they all say, to follow, so does that mean I shouldn't do it because they told me to? No, that's not the rule. But take time for yourself, and put some thoughts up on the shelf, it's easy. Just relax and think, and sooner or later you'll see, where it is, how to live, and what you need to be.

The world needs you. When you're born, we greet you, hey hello, nice to meet you. That's just what we do. And we go from there, and show you we care, but don't listen to us either. And don't listen to your preacher.

Matter fact, only listen to the doctor, or the nurse, when they ask you if it hurts, and be honest, it's easier.

All these thoughts that I just put up in your ear, disregard them, and just enjoy. It's nice to be here.

leave me alone
let me create
on my own
get my own space
why is this place
so big
millions of people
yet i still see
the same ******* people
how come these circles
have closed in on me
and i can't escape
i just want to be at a place
with me and you
a house and a lake
wanna be free
from the chains
of the pressure
of the people
of the love
and the hate
people putting thoughts
in my head
i just want to be free
i feel like
every time she comes for me
the inside of me screams
i want to be free
i'm tired of thinking
leads to drinking
obsessing
it's perplexing
but not really
i just have so many feelings
that i keep reliving
i'll never forget it
and it'll always motivate me
to get it

i kind of just wish
that i could be alive somewhere else
in another time zone
i dunno why the tears come to my eyes
or why i have to fake it day after day
to win some sort of
fake prize
that fails to materialize
doesn't even bring me to where i need to be
it's my demise
i grasp
and cannot feel
cannot understand
what it is
that it is real
i just want to feel like i used to feel
when i was a kid
and happiness was real
content
knowing
that i'd go to heaven
and i have nothing to worry about
now
all i have
are my dreams and aspirations
friends and family
keep me healthy
active
alive
but without them
i don't think i'd keep plugging in
don't think i'd like to keep living
i'd want to have some other sort of special feeling
i feel like depression is back
rearing its head
in my face
i'm on the couch
it's dark
but through the window
things are looking out
looking in
showing me
that i'm hallucinating
and contemplating
about killing myself
i'll never do it
but i just want to live
i just to overcome
i want to be successful
this is the hardest struggle i've ever been
in
i want peace
but every time i get it
it goes away
i don't want to feel this way
cigarette after cigarette
looking off in the distance
my mind blown
smoke so much ****
to ease the pain
but it just goes away
it fukin goes away
:(
:(
and **** everybody else
who didn't want to hang out with me
my friends left me
and i become
so sad
depression
is something i've had my whole life
i just now realized this
tonight

leave me alone
let me create
get my own space
why is this place
so big
millions of people
yet i still see
the same ******* people
how come these circles
have closed in on me
and i can't escape
i just want to be at a place
with me and you
a house and a lake
wanna be free
from the chains
of the pressure
of the people
of the love
and the hate
people putting thoughts
in my head
i just want to be free
i feel like
every time she comes for me
the inside of me screams
i want to be free
i'm tired of thinking
leads to drinking
obsessing
it's perplexing
but not really
i just have so many feelings
that i keep reliving
i'll never forget it
and it'll always motivate me
to get it