sometimes
only solution
for me
to get by
is to pack a bowl
and get by
re evaluate life
look at it
through the eyes
of this beautiful green
surprise
blessing me since 9
the first time i smoked it
that **** must have stayed in my spine
cuz i'm always hi
even when i'm not
ppl try to bring me down
my world comes down
i feel down
no one is around
i'm lonely
i roll it up
sit on the porch
and smoke it
watch it fade away
and dissipate
it's a beautiful portrait
a masterpiece
i'm floating away

If you care enough
to fake sick
while you're at work
then why come
the first place
you can just call off
and say you're sick
if you want it that bad
that's a sickness in itself
and you deserve the day off

i am going to look great
i am going to feel great
tonight
i'm going out
i got my best shoes on
just got them in
the mail
in a package
delivered from sister
and brother in law
saying hey
it's time for you to start practicing for that 5k
cuz it's in the next day
and you haven't started running
you're still smoking
and that race aint gonna race
without you
your heart
may take on a chase
from that ******* induced
in your veins
a few days
beforehand
how do you think you're going to do
when you're running and you gotta spew
before you even get to the finish line
but i'm going out tonight
looking sharp and feeling right
trying to put on my best face
and take a trip to a nice place
where the people all smile
and greet you
pretty women too
oh hey
nice to meet you
i really enjoy it
it's a part of my story
on whom ive grown to be
man with a plan
and a mask
a ****** weapon concealed
a killer with a smile
that man who took on the night
and drove it wild
some kind lady
may even have my child
anything can happen
whatever you dream up
so i'm getting on my best pair of sneakers
and gearing up
for the race
but first
it's tonight
and i don't have to work in the morning

why does the world
put two people in a position
to make love in many positions
then argue over position
a power struggle
in between hugs and kisses
when do you want to see me
where are you
why havent you called me
look what you've done to me
you left me
in this place
all by myself
before i met you
i don't even remember how it was
all i know
is before you
and after you
why do i have this feeling
these memories
sticking with me
why do i feel like healing
but i still keep
bleeding
who are you
what do you mean to me
why did you come into my life
if you were just going to leave
so quickly
why were you so important to me
why do i still think about
what happened
you don't even know me
anymore
and you didn't
before
and the future
we're further apart
my idea and your idea
weren't the same
why were we put in this place
to hurt each other
i just wanted to be your lover
i can never express it any harder
i miss the feelings you gave me
they can never be replaced
i want someone else
to make me feel that way again
i never knew that existed
*******
i hope you miss this

waking up in the morning
saying
I'm such a *******
isn't the best way to start your day
when you're feeling a certain way
in your stomach
in your brain
you feel it come out
of your dreams
into your real life frame
and then
how can you explain
to the people around you
why you act insane
why you choose to be
so sad
not free
of the pain that is inside you
it consumes you
it says hey
how are you
good to see you
what did you dream about last night
and you don't even know
but you really do
because you wake up thinking
about a person
that isn't there
you wake up thinking
that they aren't really real
you wake up thinking
how do i continue to live
when i feel like this
how can i go about
making this pain go away
chase the pain with *******
slip a xanax
drink the night away
mushrooms
will make you think
feel good
relax
and trip
but if you have a bad trip
you'll lose grip
a sensation in your neck
telling you
something isn't right
you aren't at peace
with the world
or yourself
your reality
is a war
and you have to let go
so when you do
you can wake up in the morning
and feel good again
that's how i feel that this day
should always start
with optimism
and not rolling around
trying to keep sleeping
just because
you want to go back to your dream
and the way you felt
when you saw that person
because the dream meets the real
and the feeling you feel
is the reality crashing down on you
telling you that it is no longer
you will never see them again
only when you sleep
so wake up
get something to eat
go for a jog
continue
be free
there's a new day
a new world
a new love
that will find you
but first
you must love yourself
and you can start doing that by
being happy

I guess

I could undress
or address
a situation
with a little girl
in the room
who happens to be the object
of my infatuation
air mattress pumped up
ready to go
she's ready to blow
you already know
but what can you do
when you're a man like me
just trying to live free
being happy
and doing what i want to do
even though i know
just this second
it could cause damage
to her and i
me and you
every relationship
that i ever brewed
finished before it started
and it all seemed *******
after a while
when i realize
that i was a child
going through pain
the weakness and youth
leaving the body
i'm not longer rotting
in this kitchen
on the pad plotting
while she's in there wondering
when oh when
will he ever come in
and i'll stay over here
in a safe place inside
my warm house
the theatre of my mind
i'll glide
and write
until she falls asleep
goodnight
and then i'll climb with her
into bed
kiss her on the cheek
and fall asleep
because that one was for me
i have to steer clear
of the emotions that flow
out of your body
when you *** someone that you oh so
much love
when i wake up in the morning
she won't even be there
she'll be gone
looking at her rear view mirror
wondering
about what happened
with that man in the room
what kind of illogical thoughts
did he consume
but we'll never know
and i'll never care
as long as she aint there
i have to move on
and figure something else out
with my life
and find somebody
that seems more right
or maybe i'll go
chase her off in the street
waive her down
stop the car
ask her to marry me
will she stop
and give up her life
or will she hit the gas pedal
and take it to 95
we'll never know

Hey you,
I learned something the other day
matter of fact
it was yesterday
i read that
you shouldn't want to conquer someone
just to prove something to yourself
you should want them
because
you love them
and it asked
well
do you really love that person?
you'll find out
if you imagine them
being in love with you
in order to satisfy
and fulfill yourself
and once you hit that point
do you still want them?

that, to me
was something
special
and i know
we didn't spend much time together
but from the short time we did
i just know
that i really
never wanted to be anywhere else
but with you
and i know i was mean
i know i was ugly
and there's something about myself
that i didn't love
so how could you
how could i
how could i
how could i really
even begin
to feel a way
about you
when i don't care
about myself

i'm writing to tell you
that i still think you're awesome
and i'm writing to tell you
that i'm sorry
you had to see that
ugliness
inside of me

and i'm writing to tell you
that i'm going to love myself
and find happiness within
and maybe one day
we can once again
begin