i'm tired of being desperate
i'm tired of being broke
i'm tired of trying to get a nasty ***** to choke
i'm tired of saying hey come over
i'm tired of saying want my number
i'm tired of this and that
the game
i've had it
with it
it's ******* ridiculous

a stress i don't need
i got other worries
like how i'm gonna feed
the kids i meet
when my wife conceives
and where is she
this whole time
why isn't she with me

i haven't met her
which is *******
cuz i have
in a dream
she opened the door for me
maybe that's what i need
or what i want
i keep dwelling
and not being thankful
for what i got

i don't get it
it's repetitious
it stays within me
most nights
some days
i feel empty
like there's something missing
an image
of a woman
in the bed next to me
coming over to kiss me
goodnight
and laying her head on my chest
i miss it

she was just a replacement
for the real thing
that's coming shortly
to a theatre near me
but every theatre i play
i look in the crowd
and say not today
cuz no one comes up and talks to me
at least not her

where's she at?
where'd she go?
how far in time do i have to travel
to get her

will it be when i'm 85
on my death bed
i'll look over across the room
and see a cutie whose life is gloom
i'll reach over and touch her hand
and together we will be again

the girl i saw in my dream
only knew her for a day
but at life's final moments
we held our hands and prayed
and lifted off into the sky
together
just how i saw it in the dream

Why is it
That at night
I feel like I have to write

I did this all day
but I still have words
I'd like to say

Things I want to hear
new feelings I have to learn

I stay awake
I lay
pizza cigarette ****
calling me

more I intake
the less I make
myself feel better

If I can write a letter
to my troubled past
tell me the future's here
and it kicked my ***

I'll always remember those days
that I stayed awake
because my pen
had something else to say

As I was trying to break free

She said to me

"I just think humans should be able to co-exist peacefully"

co exist
please
*******
no drama
no peace
or being a lady

when your existence is shady

the real existence
the one u been hiding

is chaos

so if u wanna live peacefully
please
dismiss
yourself

from seeing me

then i'll feel better
knowing you're gone

i breathe easily

lemme be frank
while i smoke this blunt
i wrapped it
with something sweet
and candid
brown fragrance
smoke blazin
bold brazen
gotta be honest
i blaze chronic
forthright free spoken
tree smokin
words floatin
out of my mouth
highly potent

you think the nice things about them
in the morning
then u think about
what u dont like
as time goes on
your feelings
turn sour
and they feel
no good
like something is on you
and you can't get it off
then you write about it
and let it out
it simmers
in your mind
and you see them
and try to explain it
but
they dont really hear
what your pain is
they cant change it
only you can
so you do
say goodbye
cut em off
we're through
be cruel to be kind
evil can be wise
if played in right disguise
you'll fool them
go **** some other guys
and theyll never know
what youll tell em
but they did
you cant hide behind a mask for too long
before they see it
what's really there
underneath
it melts away
and shows a face
they never knew
and are disgusted to know
now they must change
and grow apart
cuz separates always better
when they are from afar
dont smash your car
or break your phone
it's okay now ben
you can go home

why can't people just
walk by a celebrity
say matt damon
say you saw matt damon
and he was wearing a hat
and holding his head down
so no one would recognize him
and you thought about going up to him and going
you're matt damon
and him saying
yes
and hating you
but instead
why not keep walking
avoid eye contact
pay no mind to matt damon
and never tell anyone
you saw him
dont put any more matt damon consciousness out there
for people to think
and increase his inability
to avoid you
and have a regular day of life
without someone going
hey
you're matt damon

am i a deeply spiritual person or am i just always high?
sometimes
when i sit outside
on the porch
i hear the bird
chirping
in his cadence
and it tastes so good
and the smoke comes slowly
out my mouth
through my nose it goes
up yours
with a rubber hose
i smoke
and the trees flow
and the breeze shows
its face