i dont miss hating you
or anyone else
and i guess i can pray
to someone
who isn't there
if everyone else has been doing it
this whole time
but if you are talking
then that means
some1
is listening
whether it's the birds
the trees
the earth
the breeze
i feel it
when they whisper
to me
silently
i relax
and take a page
a deep note
listen for a quote
a sense of peace
in a new realm
i feel like im in heaven
without pain

god works in mysterious ways
my eyes wet, mind a daze
as I pray

for forgiveness, love, respect
to all those
who hurt me

forgive them father
because i do not know
why they do what they do
show me how
to love like you

and be happy and proud
to be me
despite feeling
******
unforgiving
no more
it does not help
with healing

i must remove the pain
in order to reach the ceiling

thank u
4 loving me

**** that *****
she wasn't laughin 4
nothin

she's too old
too young
quiet
loud

but u keep coming back
if u love her

make a ****** girl
a
nice crowd

it makes for good company

Guess that's what they mean
when they say follow your dream
understand what they been tryin to tell u
all these years
that's how it goes
it's what it be
it is what it is
inevitability

my dreams
come to life

those feelings you had werent healthy
unable to manage
self control
like anger
fleeting
left breathing
heavy
heart
sweaty
trying to comprehend
what my mind is doing
while on my knees naked
praying to god
begging
crying
please help me through this agony
the cold
it is so cold
remove me from this blanket of pain
deliver me
and help me escape

I remember the way it smelled
when I first would enter

Bust it wide open
from the front back and center

The more I stroke
the more I see
the gassy funk
from your *****

so soft
so moist
but you have no choice
the vaginitis
sings from your ******
like a beautiful voice

late at night
i lay in bed
feelings and all
images in my head
want to forget
keep thinking thoughts
that aren't healthy
on a path to insanity
peace is what i seek
of what i get
mindful
no more regret
painful
i don't want to dwell
in this deep well
of down

fabric i must flee
remove my clothing
and fleece
i'm on the ground
praying to god
holding myself
the anger within
the silence
ignore
so painful
hard to forgive
very hard to forgive

gonna take long time
to feel right again
so this thing i have
i must use it
pour out soul and heart
rip everything apart

don't want to freak out
flashbacks deranged
crazy dog
trapped in a cage
so filled with rage
i cannot explain
how this feels
other than by

flipping a couch
slamming my phone
screaming
crying
holding myself
on the couch

walk into the room
and feel
like i gotta strip
naked to feel
clean
i'm so *****
controlled by emotion
withdrawing from the withdrawal
of the person
who does not love me