Fall, fool, fell, leaves fall
and they float
sometimes they blow
sit soft on the ground
come around
over and over again
the tree stays planted
roots from growth
each leaf that falls
deeper seed grows
always hope
sometimes doubt
but the tree stays planted
leaves fall down

if my rent is late
**** em
they can always hate
the landlord
she don't appreciate
she just be like
what's that noise?
***** i'm tryin to mate
**** u *****
i gotta steak
and some eggs in the kitchen
now grab a plate
and get u some
of this good ole ****
it's nice and thick
just like ur landlord hips
i wanna **** u til i owe no rent
i wanna **** u til my security deposit spent
i wanna give it to u in the leasing office
we'll make an agreement
to tell no one
and when i sign the lease
that's when i *** on ur fleece
baby ur my landlord
now take this 435 dollar **** i spent
and put it towards next months rent

i got pulled over tonight
i wasnt driving
guess the drivers color
race
or origin
and you will win
a free trip to prison
nah, that's not where we went
but it was something they wanted to do
put us behind the bars
they said they saw 3 cars
one was the leader one was middle and one was third
they put on their lights
my stomach chirped like a bird
each one of us out
one by one
first the id's
then out the car
lined up in front of the police car
padded down
searched
you smell like ****
have you been smoking **** today?
yes
i have been smoking **** today
when
silence
and then they move on to other questions
full search
pockets emptied
jacket
pants
inside jacket pocket
both sides
spread em wide
haha
but still i smile
he doesnt know
the truth behind
where it is
or what he smells
it's a smell of smoke
a tease
something that he will never find
no matter how hard he tries
he will never know
that this whole time
it was in my *******

never
cannot
do not
will not
does not
won't
can't
not
no
pain won't go away
why
i don't know
i tell it every day
that it needs to leave
and when i feel it's finally gone
it's got another trick up it's sleeve
it's an old disease
memories leave
pain travels
in new directions
when i feel lost
and need direction
i use protection
the next time my heart
is vulnerable again
vulnerability from the start
i'll never not know
it'll always follow me
love at last
will consume me
make me someone
i had not planned on becoming
life, love, does not have time
for you to make plans
with someone else
but it will wait
until pain fades
and I can do it again
I can
I will
I have
I do

love anew

Thinking about pizza as I'm here
it's warm with the ovens going
the order has been placed
i sit and wait
and wait
and wait
no time erased, only 1 minute elapsed
I feel like I'm swimming laps
in a tomato sauce pool
with black olives for floaties
the sauce is well past my knees
so hungry
and desperate
just to get a slice
of this great American pizza pie
it makes my heart swell
my eyes not dry
i'm gonna get eat pizza until i die

and if there comes a day
when they say no more pizza no way
your stomach can't handle it
your intestines will flare
i'll say i don't care
pull the trigger in my underwear
crime scene investigates
saw it on the news
a man covered in pizza
and bottles of *****
they couldn't get in the door was unlocked
a wall full of pizza boxes had the entry fully blocked
but deeper inside was a man no one knew
cheese oozing under the doorway cracks like glue

i'm still here waiting for pizza
no more imaginary trap
i look at my watch
the tenth minute elapsed
the lifeguard gets out
he's done with his swim
his whistle blows
everybody back in
the pizza is ready
time to dive in

a tear is coming down my face
do i get negative press
in my own way
in my own weight
i get psychological tricks
people trying to demonstrate
in other ways
i'm not familiar with
so i think it's shade
i see smiling face
after smiling face
but i wonder who
is really trying to hate
who is hiding behind
some other mask
that i can't really see
i visualize a mistake
what's this contemplate
all these feather weights
need to meditate
before they try to demonstrate
before they player hate
but it's cool i take it good
i put it in my system then i spit it back
and make it hotter than a kettle cracked
no anger just love and feel goods for the people
that feel bad about me
and their conscious speaks clearly
through their visual cues
sneaking behind the closed doors
artificial inseminates
should be inmates
i free my mind to escape

i'm so blessed and i don't fully understand it
i don't know how to really comprehend how good my life is
i guess if i just got to take a peak at the future
and see
what is in store for me
it would make this struggle
easier to swallow
and to know
that my sturggle will probably be worse, or there will be perseverance
either way tells me that i need to enjoy this moment


I don't know man

I just
feel like that you know
and I just wish there was a way

it's too bad
and it all fades away
it's too bad
but it all goes away
and that's too sad

it'll never get better
always worse
i mean it'll get better
cuz it has
and my life has been better
but it'll always hang there
like a scab
i feel like it's getting better
yet
i wish it got worse
for the better
i wish i had her
til the hurst
i wish she was with me to ride
while i make some cheddar
it's too bad she's gone
and it didn't work out
i wish we coulda worked out
wish we could have worked it out
no commitment in this world today
just a couple that gives up
says no and moves on
goes to someone else
even though there was something there
we aren't something you can just forget
yet we dismissed
and kept it moving
as if
there was nothing else brewing
no more love to be given
we can't take it
we don't want to give
we want to steal and run
****** and go
and never trust again
until the next door opens
then what?
what will we do with our golden opportunity?
will we save it
and decide to cherish
man
i'm too smart to make any woman miserable
to make myself miserable
we could have done it
you know
we could have done it
it's the most disappointing thing in the world
it's so hard
i don't know what to do
i just keep waiting for her
to see her come
and get off the bus
or drop in at a show
say hi to me in public
just so i can ignore her
and walk away
what a ****** up life we live
where that is what we have to do
to each other
to survive
the way we want to
man
the pain i live with
it's too hard
it's too much
but i fight
i stay alive
live to see another one
and as each day goes by
i just wish i met another one
but i can't even begin
to open my heart
because it still feels like
it hasn't finished closing
and in closing
i'd like to say
that i am thankful that she made me feel this way
although so much pain, so much hate i feel
the **** was something that was actually real
and now i know that i'm alive
and i'll continue to strive
forward and on
i live a blessed life