the conversations
you have with people
sitting in a kitchen
smoking ****
drinking coffee, talking about life
family, kids, religion, all sorts of personal ****
that don't even fit those words
but they're categorized
just like the cupboards
got the salt and the seasoning
shuffled together in order
coffee machine in the right part of the cupboard

and all throughout the night
when everyone is quiet
and no one else is talking
and their eyes are rested
we are uncovering the deepest parts about life
and talking about what it really means
and how to really feel about this ****
and the things that happen to us and how we deal with them
these are times in life
when there is a timeout taken
in the middle of the game
and you're going through it, both lines pushing hard, everyone going full blast
then you gotta take a deep breathe
and talk about it

so that's what happened
tonight
plus some coffee, a marijuana, an e cigarette
and some *******

sometimes i really feel like a *****
not in a sense of a woman
but someone who isn't strong
that's what it's like being a man
but i dunno
this ****'s *******
everything i post i hate
and it all feels ******* and stupid
but someone out there is reading it and saying
oh ****
this dude
is kinda like me

so
what's up
to whoever this is
nice to meet u
welcome to the world
we've been here for a minute
but maybe we can have a chat sometime
in a kitchen
in the middle of the night
and sit on the counters
pass a bottle back and forth
and really talk about what's going on

even if we don't meet in the same spot or share the same views
let's try to make sense of it
somehow
and if we don't
least we killed some time
it was good
spending it with ya

i'm trying to find a bride with a rich family
so when we get married
on the deck of a cruise ship
and then to go to the honeymoon
some fighter jets come and swoop us up

and then they drop us off at NASA
and we get launched into space
and **** on the moon

she makes me feel a certain way
like
the other day she said she missed me
and i looked at her and could feel it in my eyes
the **** isn't fake
it's real
because i feel it
and i see it
come across my face
and i love to look at her pretty face
in the morning
when she's asleep
and curled up
there's nothing else
in the world
i'd rather take care of
i'm very blessed

Silence
is the golden time
to say the perfect thing
or let it go
and let it slide into a point where someone has to say something
who is it
what will they say

how will they say it
is this going to hurt
will it be something personal
or too revealing
something i don't want to hear
or know about myself
or them

just sit in it. and feel your stomach tense up.
and feel the breathe in the room get ****** up
and the people
paralized
for a split second
not able to move

and then it clicks
and the right button was pressed
and all of the tension built up into the silence
fueled the laughter
and now there's stomachs busting
people howling
Shouting stuff out in the crowd
A room, spontaneously combusting into laughter

one by one
soldiers, knocked down, picked back up
And ready to be hit
with more
silence

It takes time

Some time feels like 4ever
Some time goes by and you're mad cuz it's over
Sometimes it gets renewed
And your faith is fresh
Like a cold glass of brew
In time, the glass is empty, overflowing
Never knowing until you try
And if you give up
U never really tried
No man should cry
What I was taught
But after battles fought
A new lesson I bought

It takes time

the true story
behind the curtain
the things you have to learn
about what's not being said
is so hard
to decipher
what's truth and what isn't
what is all in your head
what is real
what is make belief
what is imaginary, what is the triumph over love?
what is it?

it's difficult
tough to grasp
understand
wrap anything around
no need to feel a frown
no need to worry
it takes care of itself
just like anything else
in this situational life

what can i control
what must i let be
how can i be free
of the love that i'm in
this **** makes me laugh
reading it
because it's so
to the heart
but yet
no one knows
who i'm talking about
but if you've ever been felt this way
by a man before
then it's you
so thank u, hats off to you

you don't have to do nothin
but the things you do
to make yourself beautiful
i appreciate that too

i like when your eyes are brown
i like when your eyes are hazel
i like when your hair is short
i like when your hair is braided
i like your smile, it's radiant

i like when you talk about the memory
of meeting me
and what it means
and everything that gleams
and glistens in your eyes
in the twilight of the night

i like seeing your name on my phone
i never knew that a name could make me feel a certain way
a string of text
a collection of letters
that cut deep to my heart
and open up my stomach
like peeling an apple
or an orange
a delicious fruit
you're so sweet

the things you say
really get me
like
they really shake me
and cut me to my knees
you're the best disease
the best emotional illness
the best sickness
a weak stomach

you're the tear coming down my face
and it was all worth it
and i want you to know
you're so worth it

the pain i feel
and the heartache
will never replace
how i really feel for you
and the things you do
you're just you

i don't want you to be anyone else
or change who you are
come take a ride in my car
let's talk til after dark
and wake up in the morning
man, that's the best part

to open my eyes
and instead of you being a dream
you're laying right next to me
in bed with me

a kiss on the cheek
and a soft good morning
let me cater to you
i want you to feel comfortable in my home
because you have my heart

now we are here
and the end is not near
nowhere in sight
and i hope i never see it
you're going to last forever
i hope i see you in my dreams
and awake with you from my sleep