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She was crying
  The mistakes of the past
    were weighing heavy
       on her heart.

"Why do I always pick
the same kind of guy...
Over and over and over."

"I thought this guy was different.
On the surface he was really nice.
We liked the same things and......
I believed him!"

"Underneath he was a RAT!"

"Will I ever find someone who will
love me for who I am NOW....
not what I WAS in the past?"

It was a question for which
I had no answer.

She is a beautiful young lady
who has climbed out of the
pit-of-the-past in the five years
I have known her.

Her brown eyes have changed
from a hard look of years of
drugs and abuse,
to a most wonderful softness.  

The softness comes from being
set free, forgiven, of her past life.
Unfortunately, people aren't
very forgiving and are
users and abusers.

As I looked into her eyes
I saw her heart and
God's love shining through.

Sometimes the fog of deception
can cloud our judgment when
the people we have come to trust
lets us down...   become  RATS!

Maybe just being there will help.
She could be my daughter...
This poem is a work in progress
as most of US are as we Journey
through life.

Companion piece
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/85571/just-being-there-prequel/
New chapters will be written...
Maybe there is an answer to the question.
(c) 12-06-2010
Jesus washed me clean

The 5-28-06
(Stolen from the memory of someone. The deep recesses of the mind of days gone by. When life seemed to be worthless, when the mind was dark and lonely, Jesus came and set them free. Was this your mind?)
————————————————–
The brokenness of my life, a shattered life in the eyes of others, (some would say hopeless) was put together, redeemed, made whole the first time I believed.

For the first time in my life I was clean. I didn’t feel ***** anymore. Jesus washed me clean. I was redeemed and remade in His image.

It began the day someone told me about Jesus. The moment I believed, for the first time in my life I was clean. I now walk the path Jesus walks. Each day is new and fresh in Him. When I am weak He is strong. He never leaves me. He carries me when I am tired and can no longer walk. He tells me to hold on to Him for tomorrow will be better. The days despair threatens to drag me down, He carries me until I can stand once again. When I can walk once more, we walk once again hand in hand. I can hear His voice say “well done today” as I lay my head down for the night. Sleep is wonderful knowing I am in His hands.

Each day I wake up is like the first time I met Him. I am clean. Can I say “clean” too much? I am clean in His eyes and He gives me joy, He gives me life. He gives me the bread of life that I may live with Him forever.

“Every morning I wake up is a good day.
Every morning I wake up and give God the glory, is a wonderful day.
The morning I wake up to Heaven’s brand new day, is a glorious day indeed.”


Do you know Him? Really know Him? Let go of the old life and be redeemed, be made new in Him. Hopeless is not a word Jesus thinks about. All things are possible with Him. For my life, a shattered life in the eyes of others, (some would say hopeless) was put together, redeemed, made whole the first time I believed.

07-02-08
This was written about a young woman who was lifted out of a life of **** and prostitution over two years ago. It has been two years since writing the above part. I see her at church these days and she gets more beautiful every day. The effects of **** are gone from her face. Her eyes have taken on a glow of Jesus in her life. Hearing her talk about her walk with Jesus just sends chills down my back. This is Amazing Grace walking, talking, and living among us.
I was not going to post this because it is rather personal.
I came to the conclusion it is an integral part of the first piece posted called "Just Being There"

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/79824/just-being-there/
Should I be above you taking all that I want
eyes on yours with a teasing half smile
Or maybe beneath you all mild and submissive
the ******, the angel, the prize.

Or maybe a struggle, not much, just a little
to fuel up our primal desire
a little restriction if done with conviction
could be just the thing you require.

Or would you be pleased with me on my knees
as my hips push you further inside
you can tug on my hair, try a spank if you dare
name your poison and I will provide
Spirit rises like the tide's edges.  
Whole and complete yet without walls.  
Watch Him walk, He drifts like snow.  
Heavy on the harmful, with the meek on tiptoes
Rest and peace  
Follow where He leads
Life is mine to drink
I am love's to keep

Truth in every word
The sweetest streams I've heard
Run in torrents from His lips
With beautiful grace anointed  

How He really cares
Up in arms He'll bear
We the frail
The sick and pale

Infinite everything
Is ours when He sings
Hearts  start to beat
When heaven and mankind meet

Look after the wanderers.  Don't let us lose ourselves.  
You always sing our songs.
 Sep 2014 Azrael-Always
S
More.All we ever want is more.All i ever want is just more.Nothing is enough.
More of what though?
I can't keep myself on one subject, I just left 3 other pieces of writing in the space of 10 minutes
My MIND IS RAGING ERRATIC ELECTRIC AND I CAN NEVER HOPE TO RESTORE ORDER, EVERY LITTLE THING IS STORED AND YET CONSTANTLY FLOATING IN THIS SPACE FOR THOUGHT. IT'S FRUSTRATING FULFILLING AND INTRIGUING BUT MOST OF ALL A MYSTERY.
to be finished
 Sep 2014 Azrael-Always
S
Untitled
 Sep 2014 Azrael-Always
S
the kind of writing that really effects me and makes me feel is writing how i am in this post. talking like you are speaking and just saying anything casually not thought for. it's almost as if i'm truly speaking to you through this website
 Sep 2014 Azrael-Always
S
Untitled
 Sep 2014 Azrael-Always
S
im seeking something, always searching for that one thing that's is right in front of me
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